36, PIED, new plan

logicprox

Active Member
2 days.

No fantasy, no social media. For the time being I will be tracking these daily too. Not sure if that will be forever, but right now I think I need to.

Thanks @Blondie! I actually had a similar thought yesterday. Coming into 2022, only once since the first time I used porn had I had a month with as few as 2 uses. Assuming no more this month, this will be 3 consecutive months with 2 or fewer. I do wish March had been 0, like February, or even 1 like January. But it's clear to me that my brain has improved. It's just a matter of not allowing myself to go backwards, and it's the little things that are going to ensure that. If I can go that last 16 days without doing things the right way then I can definitely crush that if I get the rest back on track.
 
I let myself forget that no amount of fantasy puts me with that girl. It's not real, and it gives me nothing.
Sorry to hear about your relapse - but great work looking honestly and openly at the causes/triggers.
Strongly agree with the above btw.
It's not just that "it gives me nothing" - it's a net negative. Porn actually takes away from us and makes it more difficult to get that girl.

Btw with the band social media, could you ask one of your bandmates to do it?
Just a thought

Stay strong brother - remember to think not just about streaks, but also your overall progress (which seems great)! 💪

Edit: Just realized I am repeating what Blondie already said - oops 😅
 

logicprox

Active Member
4 days. No fantasy, social media. Picked up a stomach bug yesterday. Makes me too lazy to use porn anyway lol, though was a bit tempted to fantasize as I lay in bed multiples times throughout the day and night.
 

logicprox

Active Member
7 days. No fantasy, no social media. I think at this point the habit of PMO is dead. It's not part of my routine life anymore, and it doesn't really require any effort or focus to not use PMO for a few days like it used to.

The addiction is still there, though. Just waiting for the right triggers. It's weaker than it was, the triggers have to be stronger than they used to and the number and variety of things that can act as triggers have reduced. But it's still there. I imagine every day without PMO weakens it a little, but brain pathways built up over years likely take quite a while to eradicate. For now it's just forward.
 

logicprox

Active Member
8 days. No fantasy. Did get briefly distracted on Insta a couple of time as I have been talking to a girl I met at a concert on there. Nothing out of line and not long stretches. Need to transition to her actual number in a minute so I can ditch using Insta.

I just realized I would have hit 90 days 2 days ago if not for my 2 slips. By no means do I think I lost all or even a substantial amount of that progress in those 2 slips, as long as have kept moving but still disappointing to not have that milestone when I feel like I should have it. I feel pretty lame that I tossed that out the window to watch a few Tik Toks of girls I have never and will never touch or even meet in real life. Just ridiculous honestly. Not hung up on it. It's just dumb.

Lessons learned, porn sucks.
 

Blondie

Well-Known Member
Hey logicprox. I think you're doing great about handling those small relapses. You're being honest about feeling that disappointment, which is completely understandable, but yet moving forward. It is what it is. On the 24th of this month, I would have been at 4 years if I hadn't screwed up after a year and a half originally. These thoughts are understandable, but often not helpful. It's best to use them for further momentum, and to help us know what we need to do differently next time. In the end, you have, and are making some lifelong changes, which is the most important.

Good luck with talking to that girl and getting her number. As you say, "I feel pretty lame that I tossed that out the window to watch a few Tik Toks of girls I have never and will never touch or even meet in real life. Just ridiculous honestly." This is at the heart of all our issues. Let us seek reality, and not fantasy.

You're doing great. Keep it up.
 

logicprox

Active Member
10 days. Similar to yesterday. Need to get the idea of how pointless imaginary women are more present in my mind again. That remembrance is what got me to 66 days. When I remember that, I have no interest in PMO or fantasy. I haven't forgotten per se, but it's not as present so it's easy to briefly start down the fantasy road. Turning back is great. Better to not start.
 
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Phineas 808

Respected Member
I realized my error and deleted it.

I appreciate your (important) stand on social media, logicprox! That has been my achilles heal for a while now, on and off. When I first rejoined RN (11/20) I deleted Pinterest to make a stand, but I needed the other platforms to minister on- and so had to find a way that worked...

Being restrictive versus overly restrictive (which backfires for me) was something to navigate. Now, I've got it to where I'll only come on 1x a week, unless I'm very purposeful, in-and-out.

I commend you for your stand. It takes those kinds of decisions and habit changes to change our more unwanted habits.
 
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