36, PIED, new plan

[Blondie]

Good job staying strong throughout your urges Logicprox.

But porn gives me nothing so I did not use.

Truer words have never been spoken.

 

[particularly_respecting]

Great job weathering the storm!

 

[logicprox]

8 days. Second consecutive day of intense and recurring urges. I honestly have no idea why, it's been quite a while since I have had days like that. I did not use, I will not use. I have stopped using porn and there is no reason to start again.

 

[Blondie]

Stay strong my man. These urges should pass soon.

Almost to ten days.

 

[logicprox]

9 days. Urges calmed down.

 

[logicprox]

10 days. Been thinking a lot about why and how I got to 66 days and why, although still doing much better in the past few weeks than I ever had before that streak, I haven't gotten there again. Still parsing through my thoughts, and don't have time to write about it today. But more to come.

 

[Blondie]

Nice job on 10 Logic.

 

[logicprox]

11 days. I think I've gotten too comfortable with my progress, and my new ability to string together little streaks fairly easily. But my mindset hasn't been where it was in the 66 day run. It's not that I have stopped thinking stopping porn is important, I just haven't prioritized it in my mind and my life like I was doing before. I'm not coming in here regularly and reading other people's stories, I'm not regularly tracking my progress in my Habitica app or in my google document I made, I'm not reminding myself WHY I don't want to use porn when I do feel inclined to, and I'm not controlling my thoughts as well as I was before.

I don't think I can, or should have to, obsess about it for the rest of my life. But I'm still early in the journey, and I think I could do with a little more of that obsession right now.

 

[Blondie]

What's up Logic?

 

[logicprox]

I am back. June was not a good month for my recovery. I relapsed. There's a lot of factors, stuff happening in my life, but honestly it's all excuses because porn did nothing to actually help deal with any of it, so I'm not gonna waste anyone's time with it.

I'm 2 days clean right now and I'm committed to being back here every day. I'm back to my morning schedule. I need to get back to my evening one too. Starting tonight I will be putting my phone in another room and turning it off when I go to bed.

It's disappointing to have ended the 1st half of the year the way I did after starting out so well. But even so, this is the least I have used porn through this point in a year since I first started using porn. So there's only forward, time to make the 2nd half even better,

 

[Blondie]

Good to see you back here Logic.

Tomorrow is always a new day.

this is the least I have used porn through this point in a year since I first started using porn. So there's only forward, time to make the 2nd half even better,

This is what you need to remember, especially if you're having a bad day or going through a rough patch.

Onwards!

Best man

 

[SmokenMirrors]

I found that updating my journal helped me a lot when I was feeling the Devil's reach of temptation

 

[logicprox]

3 days. Stuck to the morning routine. Worked late, so evening routine so-so. Turned my phone off and put it in the other room for sleep.

 

[Phineas 808]

So there's only forward, time to make the 2nd half even better...

Great attitude, and we're standing with you!

 

[logicprox]

11 days. I think I've gotten too comfortable with my progress, and my new ability to string together little streaks fairly easily. But my mindset hasn't been where it was in the 66 day run. It's not that I have stopped thinking stopping porn is important, I just haven't prioritized it in my mind and my life like I was doing before. I'm not coming in here regularly and reading other people's stories, I'm not regularly tracking my progress in my Habitica app or in my google document I made, I'm not reminding myself WHY I don't want to use porn when I do feel inclined to, and I'm not controlling my thoughts as well as I was before.

I don't think I can, or should have to, obsess about it for the rest of my life. But I'm still early in the journey, and I think I could do with a little more of that obsession right now.

4 days. I reread my last post before relapse yesterday. I suppose a relapse was not an unlikely result to what I said then. If I'm going to really get back to recovering, I need to fix all the little behaviors I said I had slipped on then. But even more importantly is regaining the mindset that drove me to do all those things.

 

[logicprox]

5 days. Worked like 15 hours yesterday and will be similar today. Making it hard to get 100% of my behaviors in. But starting Friday everything in the above quote is coming back.

Cutting fantasy at night again. There are better things to think about,

 

[logicprox]

6 days. Late posting today because of a huge push for a deadline at work today. I worked till 3 am, woke up at 7 am and got straight back to work.

Done now. All good. Work should calm down a ton now, so this weekend I will work on my new plan to really get back to recovery the right way.

 

[OrangeSpider]

Good job not letting the stress and lack of energy of that work spell not getting to you! Doing good, keep it up!

 

[logicprox]

7 days. Just posted 12 hours ago and all I have done since then is watch a couple episodes of Breaking Bad and sleep, so not a ton to say. Gonna make today productive though, now that I have gotten some sleep.

 

[logicprox]

8 days. I almost MOd yesterday but thought better of it. Idea of pulling up some porn crossed my mind but felt stupid to do (which it would have been) so I did not.