To Infinity and Beyond (M, 25)

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DAY 0 NoFap / DAY 19 Pornfree: I did MO without P a few times since yesterday. I am not ashamed of it. It felt pretty great and I felt relaxed afterwards but I feel a little uncomfortable and irritated overall. I have two exams coming up and I feel tired and unmotivated to study, go to the gym or even go out to eat something. Ever since ending my 14 day streak a couple of days ago. I have to try NoFap again.
 
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Bro i can totally feel you. I had immense struggles in the past when exames came up. My addiction always got worse during that time because of stress. It's okay to feel stressed because of uni. Acknowledging my feelings and anxiety to fail helped me in dealing with exames.
Sometimes it can be easier to concentrate and work if you know that only have to maintain this for a limited time. Say you study for 20 minutes. Any other thoughts during that time you can write on sheet of paper and resume after your studysession.
Never give up!
 
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DAY 1 NoFap / Day 20 Pornfree:
I managed to get out of the apartment and ride my bike to the gym. Unfortunately, I forgot my cell phone, which I would need as proof of vaccination. Actually, I not only forgot about it, but deliberately left it at home, thinking how nice it is that I don't need it at all times. Well almost. So tomorrow then.

Other than that, my plan of surfing the internet only once a month is working out pretty well. My head was full of 'news' from the Internet every day and every time I gave it new material, I was at the mercy of the algorithms of the websites and apps. I am trying to regain control. I control when I consume these things. I'm a little unsure if once a month isn't too extreme. My first streak in this context is 15 days long, until January 31. Then I'll be able to watch videos on YouTube again, browse Reddit, watch trailers, read football news, etc.
Edit: Change my new habbit to once a week.
 
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Day 2 NoFap / Day 21 Pornfree:
At the moment I have no desire to PMO. I created an environment where there is simply no way to get triggered. I have limited myself my internet use and in a way that has broken my internet p. addiction. But I can't let my guard down. The other day I was looking at my deleted pictures on my phone, and my brain immediatly released chemicals when I saw a picture of a person's instagram profile that was safe for work, but my brain still made the connection to PMO. I quickly deleted the picture for good and nothing happened, but this shows how rotten my brain is.
 
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Day 0 NoFap / Day 21 Pornfree:
A few hours later since my last entry and I have failed. A lot of sugary drinks eventually led to MO, without P of course. I feel like a failure. I need daily/weekly goals. @Emptyroom has inspired me to do this. So these are my goals for the next five days:

Daily GoalsThursdayFridaySaturdaySunday
No sugary drinks 100%YesYesYesYes
Meditate for at least 15 minutes 25%YesNoNoNo
Leave the house 50%YesYesNoNo
Wake up at 8 0%NoNoNoNo
 
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Day 4 NoFap / Day 25 Pornfree:
I feel like hooking up with someone. I know I feel bad about dating apps, but I feel a little restless in my life rn.
 
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Deleted member 26092

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Day 0 NoFap / Day 26 Pornfree:
I felt stressed because of procrastination and exams. MO'ed twice. I was thinking about hooking up with strangers. After MO I didn't feel that proud about these thoughts.
 
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Day 2 NoFap / Day 28 Pornfree:
I was at the gym today and there was this very attractive girl that I made eye contact with twice. When I was far away, I thought I saw her look in my direction a couple of times. At home, I kept imagining how our first conversation would go, what our first date would be like, and what it would be like if she was my girlfriend. I know it's ridiculous, but I'm glad I can get excited about it. The next time I see her at the gym and I get any kind of signal from her, I'm going to say hello. I've also started exercising my pelvic floor muscles to improve my erections and overall sexual performance. This can be done anywhere and I will share the following link full of information for anyone interested:
 
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Day 4 NoFap / Day 30 Pornfree:
Like in my last streak, after 4 days of NoFap I feel the urge to hook up with someone. I didn't but there is a pattern here. I think I just really crave the touch of another human being. But will I be satisfied if I choose to do it with someone I just met? I do not know.
Besides, I have come to realization that the worst part of my day is when I wake up. At that time, I feel depressed, pessimistic, with harmful thoughts. The best way to clear my mind is to take my bike and ride it to my gym to workout like a maniac.
I've also made great progress with my new habit of avoiding sugary drinks and drinking only water or milk. I've been doing this for over ten days now and I feel great.
And hey, check out these 30 days of no P. I'll be honest. I don't waste a thought about that shit anymore. Mostly because there's really no chance of those thoughts coming up. I got rid of all my social media, deleted reddit and youtube from my phone which I now only use for information and communication. I also installed cold turkey blocker on my laptop. This blocks all websites that usually triggered me in the past. Like Twitter, Reddit, Youtube.
I even blocked sites about football and gaming because I wasted a lot of time checking and refreshing the feed like a lab rat, only to often feel unsatisfied. Here's what I do now: Once a week, on Sundays, I get to spend a whole day surfing whatever I want. Gaming news, YouTube videos, trailers. It's like fasting, but without real withdrawal, because I fill the time with things that have more value for me, like watching a movie, reading, playing a video game, or working out.

After 30 days, I feel like the discipline I've applied to my new porn-free life has carried over to other areas of my life, such as discipline at the gym, internet consumption, and sugar-free drinking.
 
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Day 6 NoFap / Day 32 Pornfree:
I don't feel stressed anymore because my exams are over. I'm pretty happy with my porn-free progress so far and I'm very proud of myself. The next thing I really want to tackle is NoFap and specifically my sexuality. I have had sexual encounters with women and men my age in the past without love being involved. But that's what I'm looking for. I am hoping through a NoFap reboot of 90 days, to realize who I really want to be with, regardless of pure sexual needs.
 
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Day 0 NoFap / Day 33 Pornfree:
Back again at 0. I got up in the morning with a strong erection. My dreams the last few days have often been erotic in nature. In addition, the daily pelvic floor exercises cause more activity down there which I will keep doing. This morning, I spent too much time in bed and one thing led to another. I am now aware that I need to get out of bed in the morning, immediately. I apologize for the following expression, but I did not use porn or my hands for mastubation, but a pillow and it felt very good because it I imagined real sex in a way. My thoughts immediately turned to getting one of those silicone masturbation aids. I need to remember why I'm doing this: to be loved by a real person and love them back. So I have to let these thoughts drift away.
 
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Day 0 NoFap / Day 37 Pornfree:
I MO'ed after working out at my gym. Lately I've developed a real desire for women, thanks to porn-free time. I perceive women as sexual beings again. Since I do not want to wait for the right opportunity in everyday life, I installed Bumble as an alternative. I know that I have to use the app wisely and that it should only be about initializing a first date. Otherwise, I go very diligently to the gym and train hard. My habit of not drinking sugary drinks is going well. I would like to start giving up sweets soon as well.
 
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Day 2 NoFap / Day 39 Pornfree:
Currently, I feel confused about my sexual urges and desires for relationships. The only thing that keeps me sane is weight training. Actually I want to start NoFap and build up a series to get a clear head, but I guess I fear the consequences of getting depressed and wanting to nail everything and everyone. Last time in January the series was going pretty well until I had to stop due to one hell of a pain in my balls.

In addition, I deleted the dating app Bumble after two days of usage because I realized that I secretly enjoy rating a wide range of people on their pictures and imagining sex with them. It's artificial, harmful, and unromantic. I want to be better than this.
Edit: MO'ed at night
 
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D

Deleted member 26092

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Day 1 NoFap / Day 40 Pornfree:
I just can't manage to build up a NoFap streak. I go to the gym almost every day and it's very hard for me not to look at literally every woman (and a few cute guys). Especially the women dress like they want to promote their OnlyFans accounts. Of course they have every right to dress the way they want, but those skin-tight leggings pulled up to the crack are just crazy. And then at home I MO eventually (using random thoughts as a template, never porn). This has been the case a few times. How can I escape from it?
 
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Hey man! Just an idea but maybe listening to audio books or podcasts while at the gym might keep your mind focused on the content you’re listening to? Doesn’t hurt to try.
I appreciate the tip buddy, but unfortunately I don't like to distract myself with anything other than weights. I even leave my phone in the locker.
 
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Day 2 NoFap / Day 41 Pornfree:
I want to share a quote from "The Art of Manliness" that I keep thinking about:

In some ways, we are in fact more repressed than even the supposedly uptight Victorians.
We have an endlessly broad spectrum of sexualities with which to identify, and yet would balk at clasping the hand of anyone who is not our significant other. We can look at the nakedness of thousands of strangers online, and yet would be embarrassed to get undressed in a public locker room. We can hook up with anyone without shame, and yet struggle to admit to, and express, the yearning for a lasting relationship. We can talk in the abstract about everything that was once taboo, and yet find it difficult to share anything from the heart.

Brett & Kate McKay, 2022, Source: https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/relationships/sunday-firesides-are-we-the-prudes/
 

Senpar

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Day 1 NoFap / Day 40 Pornfree:
I just can't manage to build up a NoFap streak. I go to the gym almost every day and it's very hard for me not to look at literally every woman (and a few cute guys). Especially the women dress like they want to promote their OnlyFans accounts. Of course they have every right to dress the way they want, but those skin-tight leggings pulled up to the crack are just crazy. And then at home I MO eventually (using random thoughts as a template, never porn). This has been the case a few times. How can I escape from it?
Hey man, how are you! My opinion is that it's not a problem to M once in a while, and it's normal to see woman and have desire. The point is to live with that and not to watch P, that's the complicated.
As @anonymousdude said, it's good to focus what are you doing, with music or even with the exercise itself. If you're starting doing it and focus more on losing weight or gaining a initial shape, don't waste more than 45 seconds in each sequence of exercise, and do all of that directly! i do that and I don't waste my time looking to other people.
About M, I suggest doing that once in a week, without any image, sound about sex or anything erotic. And when it's possible, look for real sexual relationships!
 
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Day 3 NoFap / Day 42 Pornfree:
I love working out at my gym, but seeing all the pretty girls in their outfits is hard for me. I imagine talking, sleeping, and being together with literally every girl there. I don't act like a creep, but if I even take a quick glance at them, my mind races with me. That's a problem. Once again I want to install bumble to meet a woman. I know these kinds of thoughts are purely selfish and at those moments I just want to find someone to fulfill my physical needs.
I have to remember my past self when I started this journey 42 days ago. I wanted to find true intimacy, connection and companionship. But this?
I am so confused.
That being said, P is never part of my thought, although I know very well that there will always be a filthy corner just waiting for me to give it a tiny bit of space. Never again.
 
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Day 5 NoFap / Day 44 Pornfree:
Today after working out I looked at myself in the mirror because I made good progress after more than a month and I felt proud of myself. Quite quickly I had sexual thoughts in my head and took naked pictures of myself with the intention to find some person from a dating app for sex. I was editing the pictures when my brother came into the house and pulled me out of this trap. I snapped back to reality and deleted the pictures.
At that moment I was ready for casual sex. On the one hand I want to gently build a deep relationship with another person, on the other hand I crave physical warmth. The latter I could arrange in the short term and uncomplicated but in a way it would hinder my overall goal to be in a healthy relationship, wouldn't it? I think it is time for me to feel the physical touch of another person. It can also strenghten my progress of NoP. Or maybe I am just horny. Idk, I am confused.
 
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