My journey continues

[Inkednready1]

It’s been a while since I have posted or even thought about posting. I began my journey last march and I can honestly say it worked! I had some setbacks but typically kept with my program. I continue working out, I don’t surf any explicit sites, and I rarely masturbate. I was experiencing morning wood on a regular basis, and my sex life was pretty much back to normal. With my success, I felt comfortable enough to stop tracking my daily activities and was pretty good at avoiding triggers.

A couple months ago something changed. My wife moved out of state (we are still going strong, she moved to take care of family concerns). The move left me with ALOT of free time. I started talking to old friends and found myself chatting more and more. I rarely viewed porn (but no masturbation) but it has occurred from time to time. I’m pretty good at noticing differences and am good at catching myself. Now my friends and our chats, typically become sexual, since these are women and couples I have had intimate experiences with (yes my wife knows and approves since we are consensually non-monogamous). Since they began I noticed my morning wood has become less and less frequent. And during my wife’s most recent visit, I had issues maintaining an erection.

this was a harsh reminder that this is an issue that the issue of online activities and ED is something that consistently needs to be monitored and worked on. So I am back, reengaging my old program so I can get back on track. I am expecting a short flatline since I have been somewhat flatlined for a few days now, but am back on my daily tracker and filling my time with other activities. Intimacy helped during my first go, so I plan on not cutting that out, but my online activities will be cut out. Hopefully I will be back to my old self before I know it.
I just wanted to share and show that even with a successful reboot and better than normal sex life, we need to stay vigilant so we don’t relapse completely! Best of luck to everyone!!

 

[Inkednready1]

Been a few days since this last post, the first in a very long time. I worked through a hectic few days that were very stressful to myself and my family. I didn’t turn to my go-to relief of chatting and edging, which has seemed to take over for my PMO, that brought me here to begin with. Regardless, the chatting and edging has seem to have the same effect as before with PIED, or at least the difficulty getting hard. I held my ground and didnt give in. Writing here helped me before so I am here again. I’ve started using my tracker again and I’ve been goo for a few days. Didn’t really hit a flatline for more than a few days, so I’m expecting some residual flatline to come. I’m noticing my triggers again and doing the things I need to overcome, again. Just feel some satisfaction about writing down my successes and issues once in a while while I work this out.

 

[Inkednready1]

It’s been a few days since I posted so I wanted to give an update. I spent the long weekend with a lot of one on one time with my wife (currently long distance and went to see her). It was very helpful and therapeutic. She understands my struggles and is very supportive. While I was still in and out of a flatline, I was definitely in the mood as was she. I did use ED meds, but a very low dose and it helped a lot. We had an amazing time, concentrating on each other and nothing else. I think this type of intimacy, with penetration or not, is the most helpful for me. Once I returned home from the visit. I continued with my plan. Went to the gym, meditated, avoided sexually oriented chat and conversations. And it helps. Two days in a row I woke up with morning wood. I’d like to say that the low dose of viagra gave me a boost, but I DO NOT want to condone it as a fix. I think the intimacy in general and working my plan as a whole is what is helping me out of this. I still have a ways to go to get back to 100% but it’s getting there. Now just to avoid any setbacks this week!