Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Hey man! Since I went AWOL you've been moving real smoov, man. You are almost half a year clean!
Porn is not an option
- Thread starter Blondie
- Start date
First_step_thousand_miles
Respected Member
Brother, love how you are so even-keeled about it all. It's truly an inspiration, we are not all going to be perfect 100% of the time and that's the most natural thing in the world. Keep crushing itDay 172
Thank you @First_step_thousand_miles. I'll be getting there real soon.
I've been going these past few weeks in and out of a flatline. Feeling not sexual often than not, then really horny for a few days with him working well during that time. Yesterday though this "horniness" was a false alarm because I got into bed thinking I'd be good to go but he said "no".
Fuck porn and the false impressions it puts in our minds.
Blondie
Respected Member
Day 174
Thanks @Escapeandnevercomeback! I'm almost there.
Thanks @First_step_thousand_miles. I'm not always so even-keeled, but this time around I have been a lot more chill about all of this, because I know firsthand that it gets better and better as time goes on.
bobitkitkit
Member
Quite an awesome streak you got going on there, Blondie!! Keep at it, you're so close to half a year!
Blondie
Respected Member
Blondie
Respected Member
Day 178
I've been reading a book called Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals and it has been an interesting read. It has made me rethink my life and even this addiction that I still battle with from time to time. You could call it the antithesis to all the "self improvement" literature out there these days, and that's a good thing if you ask me. Its basic premise is that us mortals on average only have four thousand weeks in our lifetimes, that is, we only have eighty years to do what we set out to do before we step over death's inevitable threshold. What is more, the modern idea that we can "have it all" is pure bullshit and all too human when you stop to think about it. Thus, this book is pretty harsh on all of the "self-optimization" talks out there these days, or the "life hacks" for ultimate time management so as to experience "everything" that the modern person is told they need to experience to find true "happiness."
The truth is that we really "can't have it all" in this life, and anything or anyone who says otherwise is a snake oil salesman. To choose to do one thing with your precious time in this life is to choose NOT to do something else, and if your time is spent doing multiple things at once (advance time management techniques) you will never truly master anything, much less leave any lasting value to posterity. Our time here on this earth is so short and finite, that the greatest lie we can tell ourselves is that we can "do it all" when it reality we simply cannot. Of course this isn't defeatism or anything like that, nor is it saying that we should give up being the best person we are each capable of being, however, we should realize that there is no future date or goal of "perfection" before we can start living life "for real," be that: a desired body fat, a perfectly sculpted body, a college degree, finding the "perfect" woman, the perfect career, waiting for the perfect time to have a baby etc. All of these things can be "had" but they probably won't be "perfect" nor will there ever be the "perfect" time to acquire them, and in fact waiting in life to find these things, so as to then start your life when you do, is really bad advice because you will inevitably miss out on the life that you're currently living in REAL TIME.
I think this advice is relevant for those of us on this forum. I know for myself - and this type of thinking goes well beyond this addiction for me - I've often told myself that, when I get past two years free, THEN I can start actually "living" a good life. But this thought is really fucked up because there is no "future" time out there, be it two years or even ten years, when life will then be "perfect" and free from problems. Am I saying being porn-free for two years means nothing, or that we should be lazy in our recoveries and not even try? Absolutely not! Being porn free for two years was amazing and I aim to get back there. However, what I am saying is NOT living between now and then is a severe mistake of epic proportions. Life is not about NOT doing something, but DOING something. Life is about living in the moment, and yes, even making mistakes. We are only mortal after all.
This one life we have is not fucking dress rehearsal before the real performance begins. It IS the performance. Not only should this fact scare us out of our complacency, but it should also wake us up to the realization to live everyday like it might be our last one.
What you're doing today is the performance of your lifetime whether you agree with that truth or not. Reality is reality is reality. There is no such thing as learning how to manage your time to do everything. You're only human after all. Pick your few commitments and be ruthlessly committed to them. And all your other dreams, desires, and wishes toss them out the window and cherish only the one's you're committed to.
This is true freedom, and if there is any such thing as true "happiness" in this life, it will be found here and not "everywhere".
I've been reading a book called Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals and it has been an interesting read. It has made me rethink my life and even this addiction that I still battle with from time to time. You could call it the antithesis to all the "self improvement" literature out there these days, and that's a good thing if you ask me. Its basic premise is that us mortals on average only have four thousand weeks in our lifetimes, that is, we only have eighty years to do what we set out to do before we step over death's inevitable threshold. What is more, the modern idea that we can "have it all" is pure bullshit and all too human when you stop to think about it. Thus, this book is pretty harsh on all of the "self-optimization" talks out there these days, or the "life hacks" for ultimate time management so as to experience "everything" that the modern person is told they need to experience to find true "happiness."
The truth is that we really "can't have it all" in this life, and anything or anyone who says otherwise is a snake oil salesman. To choose to do one thing with your precious time in this life is to choose NOT to do something else, and if your time is spent doing multiple things at once (advance time management techniques) you will never truly master anything, much less leave any lasting value to posterity. Our time here on this earth is so short and finite, that the greatest lie we can tell ourselves is that we can "do it all" when it reality we simply cannot. Of course this isn't defeatism or anything like that, nor is it saying that we should give up being the best person we are each capable of being, however, we should realize that there is no future date or goal of "perfection" before we can start living life "for real," be that: a desired body fat, a perfectly sculpted body, a college degree, finding the "perfect" woman, the perfect career, waiting for the perfect time to have a baby etc. All of these things can be "had" but they probably won't be "perfect" nor will there ever be the "perfect" time to acquire them, and in fact waiting in life to find these things, so as to then start your life when you do, is really bad advice because you will inevitably miss out on the life that you're currently living in REAL TIME.
I think this advice is relevant for those of us on this forum. I know for myself - and this type of thinking goes well beyond this addiction for me - I've often told myself that, when I get past two years free, THEN I can start actually "living" a good life. But this thought is really fucked up because there is no "future" time out there, be it two years or even ten years, when life will then be "perfect" and free from problems. Am I saying being porn-free for two years means nothing, or that we should be lazy in our recoveries and not even try? Absolutely not! Being porn free for two years was amazing and I aim to get back there. However, what I am saying is NOT living between now and then is a severe mistake of epic proportions. Life is not about NOT doing something, but DOING something. Life is about living in the moment, and yes, even making mistakes. We are only mortal after all.
This one life we have is not fucking dress rehearsal before the real performance begins. It IS the performance. Not only should this fact scare us out of our complacency, but it should also wake us up to the realization to live everyday like it might be our last one.
What you're doing today is the performance of your lifetime whether you agree with that truth or not. Reality is reality is reality. There is no such thing as learning how to manage your time to do everything. You're only human after all. Pick your few commitments and be ruthlessly committed to them. And all your other dreams, desires, and wishes toss them out the window and cherish only the one's you're committed to.
This is true freedom, and if there is any such thing as true "happiness" in this life, it will be found here and not "everywhere".
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First_step_thousand_miles
Respected Member
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Blondie
Respected Member
Day 181
Not at the moment, but that's a good idea. I'll be thinking about that today and what I can do tomorrow to celebrate.
Thanks @First_step_thousand_miles!
Not at the moment, but that's a good idea. I'll be thinking about that today and what I can do tomorrow to celebrate.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Blondie is not the same Blondie he was before. He has overcome the limits of his power. Could he really be... The Super Saiyan?
Blondie
Respected Member
Day 182! Half a year.
Best
It feels great to be here once more. May I stay grounded and mindful of all the lessons I've learned and relearned to be here again today.
You all have a great porn-free 4th of July, including my favorite redcoat, @GBS.
Thank you @Escapeandnevercomeback, I appreciate that brother. Let us keep marching on and never give up.
Best
Thank you @GBS. I can't wait to have that cake. GBS the baker, who knew! I'm imagining you on the British Baking Show or something soon.
It feels great to be here once more. May I stay grounded and mindful of all the lessons I've learned and relearned to be here again today.
You all have a great porn-free 4th of July, including my favorite redcoat, @GBS.
First_step_thousand_miles
Respected Member
Crushing and inspiring my man!Day 182! Half a year.
Thank you @Escapeandnevercomeback, I appreciate that brother. Let us keep marching on and never give up.
Best
Thank you @GBS. I can't wait to have that cake. GBS the baker, who knew! I'm imagining you on the British Baking Show or something soon.
It feels great to be here once more. May I stay grounded and mindful of all the lessons I've learned and relearned to be here again today.
You all have a great porn-free 4th of July, including my favorite redcoat, @GBS.
GBS
Respected Member
Hang on. See my message to you on September 22nd 2022.