Porn is not an option
- Thread starter Blondie
- Start date
Blondie
Respected Member
Day 456 (Fifteen months!)
Today feels like another day, but I'm real happy to be here. Thank you all for your support and encouragement!
Some highlights of my life at this moment
You all have a good one.
Today feels like another day, but I'm real happy to be here. Thank you all for your support and encouragement!
Some highlights of my life at this moment
- The Lady and I are doing great. After the last fiasco that was my relapse, we've really grown together and have worked on our communication and relationship in general. I don't think I've ever felt closer to her. It's amazing what being real does for a relationship, or can do.
- The man downstairs is working great and gets better and better. He hasn't NOT worked in a very long time, and has been real consistent these last few months. In fact, I haven't had one thought or fear when it was time, which shows it's been a while since I've had problems. I haven't even thought about that until just now.
- Following that, my sex drive has been very chill. Even though he works when he needs to, I often don't feel overly "horny" throughout the day, and this still makes me think something is "off" though I don't think it is. This is just normal and something I look forward to experiencing more and more as I go on with this reboot.
- This time around I haven't experimented with any long durations of semen retention like I used to. Of course, I don't masturbate so the longest it's been sometimes is a week at most, and at those times I'm feeling pretty primed to go when the opportunity happens but nothing out of the ordinary. It's been nice not doing anything too crazy in this department. Since my rule is no masturbation, this has been easy to do.
- Furthermore, this time around I think I've finally realized that life is never "perfect" and there is no "peace and happiness" at some point in my reboot; whether that's ninety days clean or two years clean. Perhaps this is because I'm still far from my record, and thus, I'm not as excited at this moment as I will be when I finally cross the two year milestone. Nevertheless, I think I've realized that happiness and success happen one day at a time, and when I do get to two years clean, I will still have problems and life will still be messy. This is new for me on this journey, and it's been exactly what I needed. I think many of us here used porn in our life as a coping mechanism for life's trauma, especially from our childhoods. However, the problem with this is that we've grown accustomed to using fantasy to escape life's realities, and thus, we fall into another fantasy of thinking that if only we could be free of porn, then our life will be "perfect" and we'll all be alpha males and shit. This is a dangerous road to tread, because it's sets you up for failure and disappointment when shit hits the fan. What if you've been clean for ninety days and your girl leaves you? What if you've been clean for two years and your parents are still assholes? Well, if you truly believe at the end of the road there will peace and eternal bliss, when you get there and there is no such thing, why not look at porn? The reboot didn't "work" so what does it matter? The beauty in life is that its both light and dark, happy and sad, funny and humorless, busy and utterly boring and banal sometimes. This isn't a critique on self-improvement or reaching for your goals, no, it's just a plea to accept reality for what it is, which is something we all need to do.
You all have a good one.
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swimmer97
Well-Known Member
So Glad to hear. Thats all that counts. Keep going Brother!
This. its a Roller coaster. Like Life in General. But knowing this makes it easier to have more ups than downs.
And to the Other Point I fully Agree. Stop porn and make it a simple principle. Otherweise when we make Quittung that shit our Life goal, Crisis can Hit really hard. I have been there. Taking it easy Like a Cowboy is the way to Go.
Blondie
Respected Member
Day 461
Keep killing it my friend.
Hello friend, thanks brother!
Life really is, but knowing and accepting this, makes all the difference in the world.
Completely agree! There's more to life than only quitting porn. In fact, if that's your only goal, it's going to be real hard to get there.
Keep killing it my friend.
First_step_thousand_miles
Respected Member
Keep it up terminator, almost at 500 days!!
Blondie
Respected Member
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Very close to 500 days! 
Blondie
Respected Member
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