Porn is not an option

downhillfromhere

Active Member
Will be interesting to know how you're getting on regarding the caffeine, it's something I could never figure out if it's good or bad. So many different takes in both research and articles.

When you reduce your intake, you're also reducing your tolerance to it. I remember a few years back, I was smoking maybe 10 cigarettes every day. Now I'm pretty sure I would be unwell after even one. :D I would think coffee works in a similar manner.
 

Blondie

Well-Known Member
Thanks @Phineas 808, @particularly_respecting and @downhillfromhere for your replies!

To answer your questions, I'm weaning myself off caffeine just as an experiment to see how my body functions without it. I like doing this kind of thing from time to time just to see how my life is without something I think I "have to have." Originally, quitting porn was an experiment with the same mentality behind it, which is why I had done a couple of 90 day porn-free challenges before I actually decided to completely quit four years ago. Don't get me wrong, porn and caffeine are two entirely different things, however they do share some similar psychological proclivities.

I personally hate having to rely on anything to get me going or excited, and caffeine definitely fits that bill. However, once I got down to 1 shot a day about a month ago, I realized my anxiety levels practically vanished and the urge to pick my nails vanished as well, a bad habit I've been trying to quit now for many years. I had drank coffee so long I thought being antsy was just my personality! These are all great things to me, and make me want to continue with this experiment and see what it's like without no caffeine at all for a couple of weeks. However, I haven't noticed too much of a difference going down past one shot, thus, must likely I will make that my new normal, but we shall see!

It's kind of sad actually, I really love my two shots of espresso! :)

Thanks fellas!
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Self-knowledge is something we all need and would benefit from. These experiments are that, using one's self as a lab of sorts. To learn what we 'want' versus what 'we need'- or what we 'think we need' are all important.

It's also keeping with a Stoic approach to life, too, to be able to not be controlled by any substance, behavior, or outside force. Self-denial, delayed reward, endurance, all these things make us stronger people.

Awesome work, brother!
 

Blondie

Well-Known Member
Day 229

Do you remember that first crush you had, and all the energy she or he gave you? Do you remember how you would have done anything to be by her, walk by her, talk to her, and think of ways to entertain and charm her?

Do you remember how your crush would give you inspiration to do anything? And suddenly you found yourself a poet, or a musician, trying to play an instrument to impress them?

That's your sexual energy, and it's a beautiful thing.

Do you remember the hours you've spent looking for that perfect shot of your favorite porn star? Do you remember how you would have done anything to find it, even if in a risky situation, just to be entertained for a fleeting moment?

Do you also remember how this energy gave you nothing in return? Do you remember how you used to be a poet or a musician with dreams to conquer the world, but now the only dream you have is to wank it one more time before going to bed?

This also is your sexual energy, and it's a beautiful thing.

Sexual energy is neither good or bad, it just is, it's only what you do with it that matters in the end. As a man I can think of no other energy in this world more powerful than sexual energy. It's the driving force behind everything in this world, and if I'm honest with myself, certainly behind all of my life's accomplishments, and yes, most of my failures, with porn being the worst.

Sexual energy in its most basic level, has the power to create life, to create the next generation. Beyond that, sexual energy is the power and inspiration behind all that is beautiful in this world; art, music and high literature. Sexual energy is life itself; without it, none of us would be here.

Give me a goal you're working on, and don't tell me you're not working on it without thinking about some crush or future possibility with someone after you succeed. Hell, I have beautiful lady at the house, and I still want to impress the other ladies at school, with no other intention in mind besides just the inspiration the fairer sex gives me. Thank you ladies wherever you are, and for everything you've given me!

This is an axiomatic truth; sex is the motivating factor in almost all human achievements. This is nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide under a rock about, but to embrace with a smile on your face. Sex is everything.

Would we have crossed the seas, invented everything we now take for granted, gone to the moon, without this energy behind it all? I seriously doubt it, because sex is the driving force of almost everything that is good or bad in this world.

The question is, what are you going to do with that life-giving energy today? Will you use it talk to that someone special, make love to your wife like never before, and conquer one of your goals that you have in mind?

Or, will you use that life giving energy and spill it away to never be seen again?

The choice is yours, and always has been.

Wankers don't build cathedrals.
 
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downhillfromhere

Active Member
That’s really well put, Blondie. I can only account to my own thoughts and desires, but I can tell you that in my case, it’s certainly true that sex was a major driving force behind a lot of the things I have done, and areas I’ve tried to get better at. After all, reproduction is the single most important thing after meeting one’s fundamental needs in life.

That last line had me laughing out loud. 😄
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Nicely said, Blondie! Sexual energy = creative force.

This is why (aside from the neurochemistry involved) many of us lacked motivation, concentration, creativity, will power, the deisre to live, and enjoyment in life, because we dissipated our sexual energy wanking off to pixelated images on a screen!
 

Skittelz

Member
Day 228

This process of weaning myself off caffeine is a crazy experience and I'm still working on it. I'm down to one decaf per day, but it's been hell on wheels to get there. All week long I feel like I'm walking through a coma and I get down and moody very quickly. I've been reading a little about this and it seems a small proportion of the populace is just super sensitive to caffeine and I guess I must fit in that category. It will be interesting to see once I get off of it, how I feel in general. Originally, I was planning on having one coffee a week, but now, I'm not sure if my body would be able to handle that. For example, I tried that last weekend (just a small cup of regular) and it wasn't nearly the great experience I was hoping for, and probably set me back for this week! It seems the farther I get away from caffeine, the more I'm sensitive to it.

I realize this has nothing to do with porn, and I'm too much in a decaf coma to be creative enough to tie the two threads together, but whatever. However, I will say this, be careful what you put into your body, either through your eyes, or mouth, because it can effect you in ways you might not fully realize, that is, until you try to stop.

Have a good porn-free day everyone!
I am also sensitive to caffeine. And, I also drink very strong coffee in the morning. I have to be careful tho, because I can drink too much and then I get the jitters and anxiety and feel like shit. So I am constantly cutting back, and then increasing, like a pendulum swinging from energetic to lethargic. I actually did eliminate it for about two years when I was in my 20's, but I didn't notice much of an improvement in my quality of life, so I went back.

I wish you the best of luck on that one.
 

j165

Member
This is such an inspiring thread. Pulling for you, Blondie! I’m new and just on Day 21 so it’s nice to see someone months ahead of me.
 
Do you remember how your crush would give you inspiration to do anything? And suddenly you found yourself a poet, or a musician, trying to play an instrument to impress them?

That's your sexual energy, and it's a beautiful thing.

Do you remember the hours you've spent looking for that perfect shot of your favorite porn star? Do you remember how you would have done anything to find it, even if in a risky situation, just to be entertained for a fleeting moment?

Do you also remember how this energy gave you nothing in return? Do you remember how you used to be a poet or a musician with dreams to conquer the world, but now the only dream you have is to wank it one more time before going to bed?

This also is your sexual energy, and it's a beautiful thing.
Damnit this is so true @Blondie - it really resonates with me on a deep level
Keep on killing it brother 💪
 

Blondie

Well-Known Member
I am also sensitive to caffeine. And, I also drink very strong coffee in the morning. I have to be careful tho, because I can drink too much and then I get the jitters and anxiety and feel like shit. So I am constantly cutting back, and then increasing, like a pendulum swinging from energetic to lethargic. I actually did eliminate it for about two years when I was in my 20's, but I didn't notice much of an improvement in my quality of life, so I went back.

I wish you the best of luck on that one.
Thanks Skittelz, I really appreciate it.

It will be interesting for me to see how this plays out.
 

TryingHarder

Active Member
Interesting that you're trying to give up something else (caffeine) as well as a porn addiction. I'm doing the same with junk food! Over the years, I've fell into the trap of anxiety eating and it can be lousy. Bad day at work, the world not treating you right, stress, anxiety? Only one of two things would comfort me: PMO or junk food. I've had days where I must have scarfed down 4,000 calories in an effort to "feel better". I'm just under 30 days into my reboot and also doing my best to avoid junk food. Feeling good on both fronts!
 

Blondie

Well-Known Member
Hey Traying Harder! Nice job with cutting out the junk food!

Yes, I think when you step back from all of this (that is porn, food etc.), it really is all part of the same problem. We engage in all these behaviors to not think about our problems, thus, our problems continue to multiply!

I know what you mean about scarfing down thousands of calories just to "feel better", it is what it is, but at least we're making changes. I just read this quote, and It covers just what you are talking about.

“What does not satisfy when we find it, was not the thing that we were desiring.” –C.S. Lewis

Good luck out there, and keep killing it.
 
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Blondie

Well-Known Member
Day 231

Yesterday was tough. I've been trying to figure out and fix a certain issue with my body for years now, and yesterday just really got me down mentally. Last week I went to another doctor to get her opinion and she gave me some different ideas about it so I'm going to try those over the summer and see what happens. Who knows if it will work, but I'll try it nonetheless. It's nothing serious or life threatening, it's just something that holds me back from the doing the things I want to do; thus it's very very annoying and discouraging. However, I've done a lot over the years to try to fix it, especially the last year, having lost 40lbs and exercising and stretching daily - all good things.

But I tell you what, since I don't deaden my feelings these days with porn or alcohol, I have nowhere to run to emotionally when things get bad, and sometimes it just gets overwhelming to bear. It's like feeling emotions for the first time in technicolor on a massive screen, when you were only used to feeling them on your grandma's old black and white TV set. And when I feel them, it's almost like I'm embarrassed to have such feelings rushing through me, like it's not even me or something.

Damn porn fucks us up, we don't even know who we are anymore!

The positive thing about yesterday though is I worked my ass off trying to fix this problem instead of running away from it, which I guess is the point of this post. If I had ran off yesterday to make myself feel good, I would have woken up today feeling like shit and having a hangover, or far far worse, hating myself to no end. Whereas today, I still feel like shit, but I know I gave it hell yesterday, and although I didn't fix my problem, at least I can say I tried and today is a new day.

Fuck porn!

Fuck porn!

Fuck porn!

May I die an old grouchy man giving my finger to porn and all the shit life has thrown my way, than some an old bloody wanker happy as a clown wanting to wank it one last time before the priest comes in.
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
That's the thing that porn is good at, sucking the joy and purpose out of life! It robs us of our identity, it numbs us or insulates us from real-world emotions to where we're all but inhuman to those around us.

One thing that my wife has celebrated about me for years now is, that I'm actually 'present'- because before, I was not.

But the thing about now being exposed to all the raw emotions in response to life, without our false go-to escapes, is that we feel them- like you said, in living color!

Wishing you strength and success in the health issue you're dealing with.
 
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