Porn is not an option

[Onmyway19]

Filling your life with real life! Addressing flaws and issues head on, rather than ignoring them or feeling sorry about it, is probably my biggest takeaway from my reboot so far. Embrace the hard days and difficult moments. That makes the victories infinitely sweeter.

 

[Blondie]

Filling your life with real life! Addressing flaws and issues head on, rather than ignoring them or feeling sorry about it, is probably my biggest takeaway from my reboot so far. Embrace the hard days and difficult moments. That makes the victories infinitely sweeter.

Beautiful, thanks man. We must embrace the suck.

 

[TryingHarder]

But I tell you what, since I don't deaden my feelings these days with porn or alcohol, I have nowhere to run to emotionally when things get bad, and sometimes it just gets overwhelming to bear.

I have the same thoughts sometimes. But I know that finding a release or "happiness" in something sleazy will be a hollow activity.

 

[Blondie]

Day 232

Thank you @Phineas 808, @Onmyway19 and @TryingHarder for your comments.

I found this in my reading a few days ago and thought it was really good.

"We hold many beliefs about what will make our lives better. Some of these beliefs are conscious and some are unconscious. Many of these beliefs take on a compulsive energy and become an addiction. As addicts, we consciously or unconsciously believe sex, money, drugs, food, or a perfect body will make our life better. But what happens when we get the "thing" we are seeking? Are we satisfied? Underneath these surface desires are deeper, emotional desires such as love, acceptance, and worth. When we address and satisfy these deeper desires we finally experience satisfaction. What have I desired in my life that did not ultimately create satisfaction? What deeper desires have I missed? What gifts await me as I look deeper and understand what I truly desire?"

Stein, Timothy. Gifts of Recovery: Daily Meditations for Men and Women in Recovery from Sex & Porn Addiction (p. 144). Kindle Edition.

Everyone have a great porn-free day!

 

[downhillfromhere]

That’s a beautiful quote. So many people, including me are always chasing after the wrong things, often material things. The irony is that the things we should be looking for are often immaterial, yet it’s the material things that dissipate as soon as we try to grasp them.

 

[Deleted member 22651]

That quote really resonates, thanks for sharing.

Congrats on making it this far my bro, you're becoming more dangerous by the day.

"A harmless man is not a good man. A good man is a very dangerous man who has that under voluntary control" - Jordan Peterson​

How do you feel after 230+ days?

 

[Blondie]

That quote really resonates, thanks for sharing.

Congrats on making it this far my bro, you're becoming more dangerous by the day.

"A harmless man is not a good man. A good man is a very dangerous man who has that under voluntary control" - Jordan Peterson​

How do you feel after 230+ days?

Ha, I don't know about dangerous, but definitely hard most of the time!

Thanks for the quote, that's a good one.

How do you feel after 230+ days?

I feel great being this far out from porn. Life seems to be getting better and better, although it's hardly a linear progress.

One day at time is my motto.

Thanks Kid Gohan, you've been killing it yourself.

 

[Blondie]

That’s a beautiful quote. So many people, including me are always chasing after the wrong things, often material things. The irony is that the things we should be looking for are often immaterial, yet it’s the material things that dissipate as soon as we try to grasp them.

This is truth speech.

Let us never forget it!

 

[Blondie]

Day 233

This is my third day without coffee. It's hard to believe it but I've finally managed to wean myself off completely. Yesterday I was definitely in a stupor but it wasn't as bad as I was expecting, not even a headache! However, after school I didn't do crap and couldn't focus for even 5 minutes on any project, thus, I did nothing all day afterwards. Oh well, today's a new day and I think I'm feeling better than yesterday, so we'll see what happens.

Stay strong ladies and gentlemen.

Addendum: water with lemon is a terrible substitute for coffee!

 

[Skittelz]

Day 233

This is my third day without coffee. It's hard to believe it but I've finally managed to wean myself off completely. Yesterday I was definitely in a stupor but it wasn't as bad as I was expecting, not even a headache! However, after school I didn't do crap and couldn't focus for even 5 minutes on any project, thus, I did nothing all day afterwards. Oh well, today's a new day and I think I'm feeling better than yesterday, so we'll see what happens.

Stay strong ladies and gentlemen.

Addendum: water with lemon is a terrible substitute for coffee!

Water with lemon, lol. I guess everyone who quits coffee gives that concoction a try ... I did, and I hated it as well.

What are you going to school for?

 

[Blondie]

I really appreciate you asking Skittelz, thank you! For my own sake of privacy I won't say particularly what I'm studying, but I will say stopping porn over the last four years has giving me the chance to get my shit together to finally do the thing I've always wanted to do.

I smile everyday just thinking about that fact.

Thanks again.

I'm glad you concur with water and lemon!

 

[particularly_respecting]

Addendum: water with lemon is a terrible substitute for coffee!

Not sure how you were making it but if you were using a slice of lemon you could try with the peel instead (canarino)
Doesn't compare to coffee obviously but it's not bad
I kinda like ginger tea too - especially if you let it steep for a while so it gets strong

Keep on killing it Blondie!

 

[Blondie]

Day 234

Not sure how you were making it but if you were using a slice of lemon you could try with the peel instead (canarino)
Doesn't compare to coffee obviously but it's not bad
I kinda like ginger tea too - especially if you let it steep for a while so it gets strong

Keep on killing it Blondie!

Thanks for your suggestions @particularly_respecting.

I will have to try those out!

 

[Ezel]

Keep on rooling my brother....

 

[Blondie]

Day 235

Thank you @Ezel.

Just five days away from 8 months porn-free. I got this.

Burn it all down! Porn that is.

 

[Ezel]

8 months porn-free, daaamn man, you are a legend.
god bless.

 

[Blondie]

“Worrying is praying for what you don't want.” –Bhagavan Das

 

[Blondie]

Day 236

I vividly remember the time I had my first wet dream. It was Christmas 1995, and I was sleeping in anther room in my house because my grandparents were visiting and sleeping in mine. I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night and felt something wet and moist by my penis, I remember the sensation even hurting a little. I ran to the bathroom scared out of my mind and had no idea what had just happened. A thousand questions flooded my little innocent mind that night...

What was this liquid that just shot out of me?

Did I have a problem?

Why did it hurt a little?

Did this have to do with the (sexual?) dream I had right before it?

Does anyone else have this problem? Do my brothers?

Does this have to do with sex?

Should I even say that word?

Do I even know what sex is?

Should I tell mom and dad?

Is this sinful?

Unfortunately for my little self, none of these answers were solved until I looked at porn years later...

Dad, why didn't you explain this to me? Dad, why didn't you prepare me to know beforehand what a wet dream was? Why did I not even know what sex was? The only thing I knew about it was I probably shouldn't talk about it! You and mom and your religion made me feel shame dad, shame about myself and my sexuality! In fact the only time we ever talked about "it" was to inform us that we should never do "it" until marriage, and everything else was off the table for discussion.

Why Dad, why?

My first "sexual" experience was full of shame and doubt for many years, why couldn't you have just told me the facts? I literally thought something was medically wrong with me for years! Do you know how fucked up that is Dad? Do you know I had to look at porn (the least Christian of outlets) to figure out that other guys had "my problem" too?

The day I figured this out was both a great and relieving day and a shameful day. On one hand I figured out I didn't have a medical problem, yet on the other, I had enormous shame because I looked at porn! Do you realize how fucking stupid all of this is dad?

Do you realize the fact that Porn, the very thing Jesus hates, was my sex education?

I love you father, but my upbringing had some pretty fucked up things about it.


If you are religious, this post is not bashing your religion at all, it's just bashing parts of my upbringing.

Keep killing it everyone, and keep digging deep into your soul to find why you do the things you do.

Have a great porn-free weekend!

Blondie

 

[downhillfromhere]

This reminds me so much of how my first encounter with my own sexuality was like. I was incredibly confused by the whole thing. I discovered masturbation before porn, but would make my way to looking at pictures on the computer and actual porn before long.

Thankfully religion was not a part of my experience, because the shame was already too much to bear in my largely secular home. (I don’t have anything against anyone’s religion either, it just isn’t part of my world.) I wasn’t told anything about sex by any of my parents. Wasn’t told masturbation was a thing, or anything about it. Wasn’t told it was a natural thing to do with some of the feelings you have as a teenager.

Also, I have to say writing this out directly to your father like you are speaking to him seems like a healthy way for you to process this. I should really do this more, to the people in my life that I feel like I can’t speak directly to.

 

[The Tunesmith]

Dad, why didn't you explain this to me? Dad, why didn't you prepare me to know beforehand what a wet dream was? Why did I not even know what sex was? The only thing I knew about it was I probably shouldn't talk about it! You and mom and your religion made me feel shame dad, shame about myself and my sexuality! In fact the only time we ever talked about "it" was to inform us that we should never do "it" until marriage, and everything else was off the table for discussion.

Why Dad, why?

I can relate, but from the opposite side of the fence. Your parents worked the guilt trip on you, my dad explained the facts of life to me by... DRUMROLL.... Showing me a clip from a porn film. You were shamed into believing sexuality was a sin, I was pushed into believing there were no holds barred. Which of us fared worse? I suppose it doesn't matter, we both ended up in the same boat. Ain't life just a kick in the nads? But. Congrats on 236. Persevere Bro.