Porn is not an option

Blondie

Respected Member
"Being able to effectively talk about and explain our choices and actions is important. However, talking will not solve the problems we have created by our choices and actions. At best, talking will only provide a Band-Aid. The real solution to these problems comes as we consistently change our behaviors over a period of time. Behavioral change plus consistency is healing. Talk is just window dressing." - Timothy Stein
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 240 8 months!

Today marks 8 months porn-free. I think I've done this only a few times in my life and to be standing here again is a great feeling indeed. Thank you all for your support over these last few months, you have no idea how much it means to me. It it so helpful to have this great community of support - Reboot Nation was a great find!

What's next? I will now set my sights for 9 months which I know for a fact I've only done twice in my life. The first time was in my early 20s, when I was very religious and dating my first girlfriend (naturally she had no idea!) and the second time when I decided to officially quit porn four years ago. At this point on my journey I do feel porn is beginning to become a distant memory in my thoughts; however it still feels to be beyond just that last ridge, so I know I have a long ways to go. The momentum is gaining, but the summit still lies far past the highest ridge before me.

One step at a time, one day at a time, one month at a time, and on for forever.

Best to you all brothers and sisters.

Have a great porn-free day!
 
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Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Awesome accomplishment, Blondie! When we beat our personal best, or revisit a 'former' victory, but with a different mindset, a new perspective, there's nothing like it!

You're doing this, you're changing your life for the better- and being an awesome example in the process!
 

Ezel

Respected Member
Your journey is inspirational Blondie keep killing it, here's to another Month of being porn free... and congratulations 👏🎉 on your 8 months. Respect...
 
Amazing progress getting to eight months Blondie - takes a special sort of self-mastery to achieve that
You will smash nine months and beyond no problem, I am sure
The progress you are making now can be a foundation for the rest of your life! 💪
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 242

Thanks everyone!

So I'm thinking I want to up my game and refrain from getting off during sex for a period of time. My dick for the most part is working just fine, but he still lacks the consistently I know he can have and I think this would do the trick. In all honesty, I've never actually refrained from orgasms for any length of time during my long term streaks, quitting porn always seemed to work for me, and it is working, however I wish to speed up the process.

I've been getting off on average 3x a week during sex so far and sometimes I feel that might be slowing down my recovery. It's nothing drastic, but I do feel it sometimes afterwards. Also, my focus and concentration are still not the best, though I know this has been a problem of mine ever since childhood.

I've practiced semen retention 3 times over the last 10 years for the length of 60 days each time. The first time was right after I read YBOP many years ago. This was my first 60 days of no orgasms and I wasn't having sex at that time either. The second time was probably 5 or 6 years ago, when I was still looking at porn but I wanted to focus on some goals of mine. I tried for the first time "sex transmutation" and kicked ass on those goals; also no porn during that time period but I was having sex. The third time was right after my big relapse a couple years ago. At this time I really needed some motivation so I thought doing another round of no orgasms would do the trick. It did, I accomplished a ton in those 60 days.

I feel pretty excited about this because doing this during a long streak could be mind blowing!

I'll have to think about it a little more though but we shall see. It's already been five days since my last O and I can already feel my virility starting to brew.

Keep killing it everyone!
 
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downhillfromhere

Well-Known Member
Interesting what you’re saying about semen retention. I don’t really have any plans on doing that on my own, as I’m most likely looking at a long period of no M/O right now. But what do you feel are the benefits, if you’ve tried this before? Does it affect your focus, attention, productiveness, that sort of thing? Or does it have other effects, physical or otherwise? Just curious. :)
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Hey Down Hill,

I'm glad you asked. I did a post a while back that kind of broached on this subject, at least in a holistic sense that can be found here, https://forum.rebootnation.org/index.php?threads/21504/post-235680

So, carrying on that same thought, I would say not getting off for me is a way to focus my sexual energy, which is my greatest source of energy, and use that energy on my other pursuits and goals. Personally, I think the word "energy" is kind of cheesy, but that's all I have so that's what I'll use. I first read about this idea from a book called Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill in the chapter called The Mystery of Sex Transmutation. This chapter can be found here https://www.sacred-texts.com/nth/tgr/tgr16.htm. Now this chapter is pretty damn cheesy to be clear and I think Hill was an utter fraud to be honest, but the gist of the message is on point. Also I might add, all of Hill's information has been pulled from old and ancient traditions, tantra sex being an obviously example. The irony that that chapter can be found on a "sacred-text" website nearly made me shit my pants!

Needless to say, I do this once in a while, not because I believe in the spiritual aspects per se, but because I see results. When I have sex with my lady and don't get off, I feel a complete and utter high that porn could never match. Then, if I immediately go to work on my goals (with a boner I might add!) the energy I have is contagious and world conquering to be a little hyperbolic. :cool: If you use this energy on your goals (the greatest energy known to man) nothing can get in your way. Of course, if you don't have partner at the moment, this still all applies, possibly even more so!

I mean just think about it, why are we all here at RN? Because all of us have abused this energy and have cast it away into a tissue to never be seen again! Think of the energy you get from looking at porn and trying to find that "perfect" shot for hours on end, that is this energy that I speak of. Just imagine what goals you could accomplish if you used that same energy and focus on your passion and goals? You would get amazing results! Our problem is not our sexual energy, our problem is how we've trained ourselves to use it over the years; this is where we've fucked up.

Thus, use your sex drive for good and not evil. Work on your goals while thinking of some crush you've had or currently have. Let's be honest, none of us guys do anything without thinking about how it will affect us with the ladies down the road if we become good at it. We all know this to be true, so let's embrace this beautiful fact and get moving with our lives!

The amount of hours I've wasted away using this energy for no good I will never get back again. But I have learned over the last 5 years to be better with my sex drive and use it (mostly) for good.

The day I met my lady walking down the street was a day I definitely used it for good. I remember it clearly, I spotted her just causally walking with her feminine grace and smiles and knew I had talk to her.

The beauty and grace of a woman will save us men, if only we would stop making love to our computers and start making love to them and our goals and passions.

I hope that helps Down Hill!

Best
 
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downhillfromhere

Well-Known Member
Thanks for the great answer Blondie, this definitely makes sense. I remember the post you wrote, it stuck with me.

Will keep this is mind as I go through the next months. I’m honestly struggling a bit emotionally right now, and at the same time experiencing days where I don’t really feel like doing much at all. Hoping that if I work on my good habits, the will and drive to make something of my time will return to me and I will be able to make use of that energy.
 
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