Porn is not an option

Blondie

Well-Known Member
Day 261

Day 24 of no O


How has it been since you cut out O?

Hey Freedom. It definitely has been interesting and enlightening. I have seen some improvements, no "god like powers", but good results nonetheless.

1. For one thing, my concentration is better. Even after 8 months porn free, I was still having a hard time focusing on my projects or school sometimes and doing this has increased my drive and focus to be sure. Like I said, nothing "crazy" but definitely noticeable. This is amazing and a beautiful thing.

2. Emotions. I was already feeling my emotions considerably better without porn, but now even more so. If I'm mad, I will show it, and if I'm happy, you will know it! This takes a while to get use to, and I have a long ways to properly dial it in, because I have often tried to hide my emotions and deaden them.

Furthermore, I've been more assertive in my relationships too, which is great. However, yesterday I did have to apologize to my girlfriend because I said something a little more forceful than I would have previously. It wasn't what I said, it was just how I said it that surprised both of us! Again, I need to learn how to adjust this new found assertiveness. :)

3. Lastly, I'm definitely getting my mojo back more than I was before, or at least, speeding up the process. When I see my girl or any girl sometimes, I just get than feeling down there that I love and was missing for a long time. It's not a erection per se, just more of a general feeling in my gut - a general resurgence of my masculine vitality. Naturally, this is not a constant feeling, nor should it be, but when it's there, it's considerably better than it was a month ago. Also I should add, my sensitivity down is getting better. For example, I had forgotten that sometimes I used to get half erections with just the feeling of my sweats or clothing rubbing against my dick during the course of the day, and that's starting to happen again. I had totally forgot about this sensation after all these years of being a wanker!

Again, let's all say it together. Fuck porn!
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Today I drank my first coffee in 30 days. It was good but not mind-blowing.

Perhaps salivating for a thing is actually better than drinking it.
That's right. The dopamine makes the reward seem better than it really is when it happens. I know everything about this. How many times I was so excited about getting myself some alcohol after a period of abstinence, the whole ritual, the anticipation, the happiness that it brings, the going to the store, the "I can't wait to get home with this bottle in my backpack" then I drank and... That's it? We definitely seek more than we need, more than the satisfaction can bring. From an evolutionary point of view, the desire needs to be super high and the reward needs not to be very satisfactory so you can seek it again. Otherwise, if it was "completely satisfactory", you would spend the next of your life in a satisfaction stupor, not moving. Understanding how this fuckin shit works is a very important step no doubt, but we also need "strategies" and "tactics" to make it work, only knowing about them can take you so far, can scare you so far, but after a while the shock value is gone. Good job, man, you're killing it with porn. Be careful.
 
Awesome to hear all these little nuggets of improvements man! Hey, getting the assertiveness is the hard part I feel, controlling it is easier once you have it vs. not having it at all

Always used to wonder when I was younger why some guys were just naturally way more assertive. Some of that just comes down to confidence, but wonder how much P has crippled this feeling in us over the years. Anyway, onwards Blondie!
 

Blondie

Well-Known Member
Day 263

Day 26 of no O


@First_step_thousand_miles
Always used to wonder when I was younger why some guys were just naturally way more assertive. Some of that just comes down to confidence, but wonder how much P has crippled this feeling in us over the years
There is definitely some truth in this. When you do something so long, you start to think its effects are actually part of your personality. However, I do think learning how to be assertive does take practice for some of us, but it's a skill we can all master if we choose to.

Thanks First Step!

@Phineas 808
I enjoy reading your insightful posts and all your supportive comments on RN.
Thank you Phineas, I try my best.

Glad to see you around these parts still once in a while. :cool:

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle" - Sun Tzu

I think this quote encapsulates everything we need to overcome porn once in for all. I could do a boring commentary on it, but I think it's pretty self explanatory. So let's get on with it!

Today marks one week away from nine months porn-free for me. I got it in my sights, I just need to stay the course.

Keep killing it everyone.
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Congrats on approaching 9 months, Blondie!

I like that you quoted Sun Tzu's Art of War, I approached that work as a manual to overcome P back in the day. 'Taking the whole' as opposed to a 'scorched earth' policy (being overly restrictive), if only then President Bush could've learned from this- but I digress. But above all helpful was the notion of approaching this thing already as a winner in one's mind. Usually you can tell who's going to win a game or boxing match based on the attitude or awareness of victory already present in the soon-to-be winner's mind!

This is how we should approach this thing, as already winners, already victorious. Certainly the opposite, having a defeatest mentality, causes many to lapse all too often.
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Love this.

Your President Bush comment cracked me up - thanks for that!

Best brother

Thank you, brother. The Bush (jr.) reference- funny for its relevance, but true story and very tragic for the people of Iraq, and the needless loss of American lives, too. But I really wondered, was he trying to do the exact opposite of 'The Art of War'? :rolleyes:
 

Blondie

Well-Known Member
Day 264

Day 27 of no O


The pursuit of happiness is an illusion,

A byproduct of our blessed consumer culture.

Happiness isn't some far off destination beyond our grasp.

It cannot be bought.

It cannot be found.

Happiness isn't 365 days of freedom.

Nor is happiness found in the palm of your clammy hand.

Happiness is a choice to be happy,

To daily choose life over slavery.

To be happy because today you're alive,

And tomorrow you might not be.
 

WestCoast

Member
Day 261

Day 24 of no O




Hey Freedom. It definitely has been interesting and enlightening. I have seen some improvements, no "god like powers", but good results nonetheless.

1. For one thing, my concentration is better. Even after 8 months porn free, I was still having a hard time focusing on my projects or school sometimes and doing this has increased my drive and focus to be sure. Like I said, nothing "crazy" but definitely noticeable. This is amazing and a beautiful thing.

2. Emotions. I was already feeling my emotions considerably better without porn, but now even more so. If I'm mad, I will show it, and if I'm happy, you will know it! This takes a while to get use to, and I have a long ways to properly dial it in, because I have often tried to hide my emotions and deaden them.

Furthermore, I've been more assertive in my relationships too, which is great. However, yesterday I did have to apologize to my girlfriend because I said something a little more forceful than I would have previously. It wasn't what I said, it was just how I said it that surprised both of us! Again, I need to learn how to adjust this new found assertiveness. :)

3. Lastly, I'm definitely getting my mojo back more than I was before, or at least, speeding up the process. When I see my girl or any girl sometimes, I just get than feeling down there that I love and was missing for a long time. It's not a erection per se, just more of a general feeling in my gut - a general resurgence of my masculine vitality. Naturally, this is not a constant feeling, nor should it be, but when it's there, it's considerably better than it was a month ago. Also I should add, my sensitivity down is getting better. For example, I had forgotten that sometimes I used to get half erections with just the feeling of my sweats or clothing rubbing against my dick during the course of the day, and that's starting to happen again. I had totally forgot about this sensation after all these years of being a wanker!

Again, let's all say it together. Fuck porn!
God I hope to have this improvement one day.
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Good point on happiness above, Blondie! This is in sync with what I'm thinking on lately...

I often tell myself: Life's too short to tolerate being [sad, angry, depressed, fill in the blank...]. The idea that we can (and should) change our negative emotions is fascinating. Life's short, why spend one moment suffering needlessly? There are times when we should "...weep with those who weep", and enter into another's suffering, or even our own toward self-healing, but those should be occassional and not the norm.

To be sure, our will can directly change the focus of our intellect or thoughts, and only indirectly change our emotions. So, if we change our focus we can change our moods. If it's physical, take a few deep breaths, get better sleep, don't over eat, exercise etc...
 

GeminiMan

Active Member
Awesome to hear all these little nuggets of improvements man! Hey, getting the assertiveness is the hard part I feel, controlling it is easier once you have it vs. not having it at all

Always used to wonder when I was younger why some guys were just naturally way more assertive. Some of that just comes down to confidence, but wonder how much P has crippled this feeling in us over the years. Anyway, onwards Blondie!
Hey buddy @First_step_thousand_miles
I have personally felt this a lot and I do contemplate over this at times .

I am a competent professional in my field of work . But I don’t feel competent in how I sound while talking how I look while walking and how I sit in meetings .

The blows I have had been punched in my personality because of the P and chat addiction has certainly made me feel like an underdog about myself , even though I am not one actually , atleast in my professional life .

and it is awful that I carry that UnderDog attitude in my walk , my talk and my body language and the tone of my voice .
Everything underneath is actually good but you know what happens to a Boxer who knows how to defeat his enemy in the ring but just because he walks in thinking he is an underdog ,he then actually looses to an Underdog fighter
Tragic ….

that’s what has been going on in my life and I feel in many of your lives too to some extent.

I feel as our clean streak grows so does the confidence in our voice , our walk , our talk and our attitude when faced with adversity be it work/life/sport/hobby/social life/any where else

I Hope to grow more and more confident so long as I grow my sobriety streak !
 
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