Porn is not an option

Blondie

Respected Member
Thanks @Ezel!

Thanks @First_step_thousand_miles! Yes, a year is in my sights now!

Hey @SmokenMirrors, life is definitely better on this side. It just feels great knowing I'm staying true to myself and not doing something so destructive to my life and general goals. For me, that has to be one of the biggest benefits and improvements, just feeling better about yourself. I can't think of anything worse than saying repeatedly you want to quit something but yet continue to do it over and over again, no matter the repercussions. It's a heartbreaking experience for yourself and everyone around you (if they know or not) because they can feel something is off and they would be right.

Life is still life, with its ups and downs and everything else, but it's considerably better than my old life before and now I have chance to work on it!

Keep killing it Smoken!

Thanks

Best
 
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Ezel

Well-Known Member
Couldn't agree more, keep pushing forward Blondie, and congratulations 👏🎉 on 9months porn free.
Sending love...
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Congratulations on 9+ months, Blondie! I like that, despite your earlier 'back-and-forths' with this that nowadays your streaks are lengthier and lengthier, and that you are truly sailing away from the 'fantasy island' that is porn- the fake and false place is giving way to the true and real.

Inspiring!
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 273

Thanks @First_step_thousand_miles. Yes, freedom is just around the corner. I also think freedom is a daily choice. We can choose to be free or choose to be servile. Keep killing it man!

Thanks @Phineas 808.

you are truly sailing away from the 'fantasy island' that is porn- the fake and false place is giving way to the true and real.
Let's hope so.

Let us both sail away from the island of horrors!

Always a pleasure Phineas.

Thanks!
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 275

This poem was inspired by @SmokenMirrors's great post today, Toxic Masculinity.

What is a man?

Lo there do I see him, a man among men,
There he holds his face up high, again and again.
Warmth and love will ever be found upon his kindly face,
Yet death and grit also that no one could efface.

He's not an idle man you see, a man of the modern race,
But a man of action, not vacuous words, who never seeks a hiding place.
Some say he's a god, but he knows far far too well,
that when men say they're gods, that usually sounds the final death knell.

Some call him toxic, but oh how they're wrong!
What could be so toxic and bad of anything so naturally strong?
What is this toxicity that everyone goes on and yaps about?
What is the point of demeaning something so strong and stout?

Then there are others, with possibly good intentions,
But what is left unsaid is often in need of great interventions.
They say men should be barbarians again, and return back to hostile factions,
But god damn have we not learned that the world does not need another ridiculous reaction!

So what must we do then to become a modern "made" man?
Shall we cut off our dicks with glee and become history's greatest "Yes man"?
Or should we return back to the forest and put women back in their "place"?
Can there be any other option than this utterly black and white disgrace?

We men now are only consumers "Yes I'll take that 20k TV and some porn please."
Thus we die in our modern "man caves," fat as fuck and on our humble knees.
Some say this is "progress," so as to sap us from our natural strength,
But I say fuck that shit to hell, I will not die with intimacy at arms-length!
 
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SmokenMirrors

Active Member
Day 275

This poem was inspired by @SmokenMirrors's great post today.

What is a man?

Lo there do I see him, a man among men,
There he holds his face up high, again and again.
Warmth and love will ever be found upon his kindly face,
Yet death and grit also that no one could efface.

He's not an idle man you see, a man of the modern race,
But a man of action, not vacuous words, who never seeks a hiding place.
Some say he's a god, but he knows far far too well,
that when men say they're gods, that usually sounds the final death knell.

Some call him toxic, but oh how they're wrong!
What could be so toxic and bad of anything so naturally strong?
What is this toxicity that everyone goes on and yaps about?
What is the point of demeaning something so strong and stout?

Then there are others, with possibly good intentions,
But what is left unsaid is often in need of great interventions.
They say men should be barbarians again, and return back to hostile factions,
But god damn have we not learned that the world does not need another ridiculous reaction!

So what must we do then to become a modern "made" man?
Should we cut off our dicks with glee and become history's greatest "Yes man"?
Or should we return back to the forest and put women back in their "place",
Can there not be any other option than this utterly black and white disgrace?

We men now are only consumers "Yes I'll take that new 20k TV and some porn please."
Thus we can die in our modern "mancaves," fat as fuck and on our humble knees.
Some say this is "progress," so as to sap us from our natural strength,
But I say fuck that shit to hell, I will not die with intimacy at arms-length!
That's a fantastic poem man! I love the part about toxicity!
 

anubu0

Active Member
Day 275

This poem was inspired by @SmokenMirrors's great post today.

What is a man?

Lo there do I see him, a man among men,
There he holds his face up high, again and again.
Warmth and love will ever be found upon his kindly face,
Yet death and grit also that no one could efface.

He's not an idle man you see, a man of the modern race,
But a man of action, not vacuous words, who never seeks a hiding place.
Some say he's a god, but he knows far far too well,
that when men say they're gods, that usually sounds the final death knell.

Some call him toxic, but oh how they're wrong!
What could be so toxic and bad of anything so naturally strong?
What is this toxicity that everyone goes on and yaps about?
What is the point of demeaning something so strong and stout?

Then there are others, with possibly good intentions,
But what is left unsaid is often in need of great interventions.
They say men should be barbarians again, and return back to hostile factions,
But god damn have we not learned that the world does not need another ridiculous reaction!

So what must we do then to become a modern "made" man?
Should we cut off our dicks with glee and become history's greatest "Yes man"?
Or should we return back to the forest and put women back in their "place",
Can there not be any other option than this utterly black and white disgrace?

We men now are only consumers "Yes I'll take that new 20k TV and some porn please."
Thus we can die in our modern "mancaves," fat as fuck and on our humble knees.
Some say this is "progress," so as to sap us from our natural strength,
But I say fuck that shit to hell, I will not die with intimacy at arms-length!

How do you save a post 😄
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 276

How Black and White Thinking Will Kill Your Recovery


I've been thinking a lot recently about by continuous struggle with black and white thinking in my life and thought I'd write something about it today.

What is black and white thinking?


To put it bluntly: black and white thinking is to only see the world in either or categories, with no shades of gray in between.

For example, I've been dieting over the last year and I've lost almost 50lbs. One of the ways I've managed to do this is by never going to any extremes in my diet, and for the most part, just cutting back on my portion sizes during the day. Thus, I still eat pasta and pizza and all other kinds of "bad foods" but my portions are smaller than they were before, and that's that. Doing this, without being extreme, has helped me stay the course on my diet and kept me from going overboard when I let myself have a cheat day. However, I've notice when I've given myself a cheat day, a familiar thought pattern comes up that I'm all too familiar with in my bad porn habit over the years.

What has happened many times over the course of the year is this: I'll be having a cheat day but then find myself eating more than I had planned on, of course doing this makes me feel guilty, and then this wicked thought pops into my head, "Well... since I've alreadly "fucked up" I might as well go all the way and eat the whole damn pizza!" (n)

This my friends is the evil of black and white thinking.

Having this thought pattern and not recognizing it has really set me back over this last year in my diet, though I have been getting better at spotting it in the moment.

Why do I do this?

Why do we do this?


I've learned over the last year to remined myself in these pressing moments, "Okay, so you've had a slice more of pizza than you've planned on, this will only set me back a week in my progress. However, if I eat the whole pizza now, that will set my back two full weeks and that is not acceptable!"

Having this dialogue in my head and forcing myself to not see my diet as either on or off, or more importantly, good dieter/bad dieter, has helped me tremendously to lose quite a few pounds and be all the happier for it.

Over the years, I have recognized this same stupid thought pattern and have noticed how it constantly screwed up my recovery. We all know how this story goes don't we? :cool:

"Well fuck... I just looked at some sexy girl in yoga pants on Instagram. I've alreadly fucked up, so I might as well go all the way!"

or

"Oh shit, I just MOed and I told myself I wasn't going to do that. I guess now I should just fuck it and PMO too!"

or

"Dammit! My streaks are getting shorter and shorter, I guess I'm a fucking loser and should just give up and "start over again" tomorrow."

or my favorite

"Well I've done it! I goggled a porn site and saw one picture. I told myself I was never going do this again, so I guess I'll have another five hour session and start over tomorrow" 🤦‍♂️

Why do we do this nonsense? How can adults be so juvenile in their thinking?

It's because our minds are caught up in black and white thinking.

We must rid ourselves from such thought patterns and instantly extract them like a leech from our mental legs.

So here are some truth bombs you all can tell yourself when you've "found yourself" in a tight situation.

One porn picture does not equal five hours of porn you nitwit!

One sexy girl on Facebook does not mean you've fucked up!

Just cause you've wanked it once, doesn't make you a wanker. So stop being one dammit! :cool:

There is no such thing as a perfect recovery. So stop a giving a fuck about "shorter streaks." Anything, and I mean anything, is better than nothing!



Let us all stop this nonsense once and for all.

We are better than this - I know it.

Let us embrace the gray areas in our recovery!


That's all I have to say on this matter.

P.S.

Last night I ate half a bag of pita chips... my loser brain this morning told me I should eat the rest of it today! 🤦‍♂️


I finally wrote it @Phineas 808!
 
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