Porn is not an option

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 123

I've been having strange dreams recently since getting off porn. This always happens and I find it so fascinating why I don't have dreams, or at the very least, don't remember them when I'm looking at porn. The brain is a crazy place, I'm just happy it's healing itself.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Wow, I will have to read that tonight! Thanks man. That would seem to align very much with my own experiences. It's crazy how we forget what is "normal" when we've been doing something unhealthy for such a long time.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 124

I'm definitely experiencing some withdrawals, because yesterday was pretty hard. I haven't been tempted so far (which is good), just feeling really down and semi depressed, like my brain needs an afternoon pick me up! I was going to get some wine last night to deaden the feeling (definitely not a smart idea), but fortunately my girlfriend convinced me not to, and suggested I should just feel my pain. I'm glad she did that, because I would have probably drunk too much and would have felt even more like shit today. This too shall pass. I am looking forward to next week though, because that is when I beat my last streak of 129 days.

I will stay strong!
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Congrats on hitting 120 days, Blondie! That was my original goal when I first joined RN in 2014-16. It was the goal I rejoined with, also last November of 2020.

I know your goal is to beat your last streak of 129, and you are well on your way. I appreciate how you dealt with the unknown negative emotions the other day, too.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Midday update:

Sensitivity is returning to my dick again, which is great news. This might be the best it's been in the last 18 months or so. Was in bed with my lady this morning, and she started to touch him ever so lightly, and even though I didn't "feel" really horney, he became rock hard very quickly. Not 100% mind you, but really good nonetheless. This is a big improvement for sure.

Moral of the story is; let's keep our heads up, but do not touch them!
 

Jswizzle

Active Member
Day 120!

I finally made it 120 days! It's been a long time since I've been this far. I feel very happy today, but I also feel cautious and stoic in a way; because as they say, pride comes before the fall. I'm proud of my achievement, but I know I have a long ways to go yet in my full recovery. And if experience has taught me anything (even after 500 something days clean once); put me in a certain life situation, or a month of stress, and I've proven to myself that I can still fall if I'm not on my guard. Let us never ride the waves of complacency!

But today is a beautiful day, and I will cherish it

Onwards!
Congratulations on the 120 day mark brother. 🤘💪
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 126

More crazy dreaming last night. I wonder if I had a dream that I looked at porn, because I woke up all stressed out thinking for a moment that I had. I guess that means I'm not completely remembering all of my dreams still.

Thankfully I have not looked at porn, and my next streak of 129 days will soon be passed.

Fuck porn.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 127

I woke up today with the hardest boner I've had in, hell, I don't know how long, it was fantastic!

For all you struggling today, stay strong out there! And remember, you're not losing anything by not looking at porn. There's only positives to be gained, no negatives. Staying away, makes your life 100x better!
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 128

Not much to say today. However, I'm feeling pretty good and haven't been having any withdrawal symptoms over the last few days. Sometimes I do wonder if my "withdrawal symptoms" are really in reality, just life, life in the truest sense of the term. With all the sadness, stress and also beauty and wonderment that that word entails. But because I've tried to deaden those "bad" emotions over the years, whenever I don't deaden them, they appear larger than life and overwhelming to me at first.

Here's to accepting life as it is. There is no light without the darkness.
 
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dylank

Member
Channeling your emotions is good, but don't deaden them too much, you have to let that stuff out otherwise it can build up and you can crash.

Here's to accepting life man! Keep it up!
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Congratulations on day 130, and for beating your last streak, Blondie!

This place was an awesome find! It continues to be an important place to air things out, and to work out strategies for life long change.

Be well.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 131

Yesterday was a great day. Many goals I've been working on, both at school and life, are starting to come together and I'm very happy about it. It feels great to be this far away from porn and I plan on keeping it that way. May we all understand to the bottom of our core that porn will never fix any of our problems, and will only make them worse.
 
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