Porn is not an option

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 296

Thanks @First_step_thousand_miles.

I read this in my book today. I thought it was pretty relevant.


The best way out is always through. –Robert Frost

A quick fix, while convenient, is typically not helpful in the long run. A quick fix provides immediate relief but very little growth. Often, the most helpful solution is working through the challenge. It is less comfortable in the short term. However, by working through the challenge, we find answers, develop tools, and gain experiences that will help us to manage future challenges and situations more effectively.

Stein, Timothy. Gifts of Recovery: Daily Meditations for Men and Women in Recovery from Sex & Porn Addiction (p. 214). Kindle Edition.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
The master asked his three pupils the reasons why they quit porn.

The first one said: "I quit porn to fix my dick"

The second one said: "I quit porn so my wife wouldn't leave me."

The third one said "I quit porn because life is too short to be a fuckin wanker."

The master after hearing these beautiful answers smiled and said to the third one: "Blessed is your answer son. For dicks rise and fall like the sun, and relationships may come and go like the wind, but a good life is lived only once and the man who knows this will quit for himself and himself alone.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Thanks @Ezel! God bless you man.

Day 297

I've been taking it easy the last few days because I still feel pretty tired, thus, I haven't felt like writing here very much. I tell you what, Covid really knocked it out of me. I think yesterday was the first day I've felt even semi normal again (after two weeks!), though I still have a little cough. I think today I will try to work out a little and see how that goes.

I don't know if anyone saw this yesterday (it slipped by pretty fast), but Noah Church posted this in the forum. It looks like a great app!

Keep killing it everyone!
 

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Glad you're feeling better, Blondie! Yes, strengthen that respitory system, which that Sars 2.0 seeks to target (initially).

I saw that app advertised by Noah on Youtube the other night, and that it's offered free now. It looks like it could be helpful, it doesn't fit into my particular approach right now, but if anyone thinks they can benefit...

Best to you, Blondie!
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Thanks Phineas!

Yes, apps are not really my thing either, but I'm sure there's plenty of people out there who might really benefit from it.

To each their own in quitting this madness!

Best brother.

Addendum: I just realized I do use Fortify for counting my days. So I take my comment back!
 
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Blondie

Respected Member
Day 298

Thanks for the encouragement @SmokenMirrors!

I'm definitely feeling better today as far as my health is concerned so that's great. I also can't wait to get to ten months porn-free in two days! I've only done this once in my entire life (four years ago) since starting porn and to finally get here again is amazing.

I also feel like I'm in high alert mode these last few days. I haven't felt tempted per se, just feeling kind of blah blah about life. I think with Covid and my trip turning out somewhat badly, I just haven't got back into the flow of things that's all.

None of this is bad, just feelings that I'm acknowledging and putting out there.
 

Ezel

Respected Member
you will hit your 10 months goal for sure blondie, I can feel it man. you got this my friend.
glad that you are doing great and felling good, after all it's what this is all about, leaving porn behind and reaching our highest potential so that we can feel good about ourselves...
2 days to go, stay the path legend, onwards...
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Thanks Ezel, I appreciate it man!

after all it's what this is all about, leaving porn behind and reaching our highest potential so that we can feel good about ourselves...
This is true. All of us have so much potential, if only we would believe it and follow where it takes us.

God bless you brother.
 

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Hi, Blondie. You've been around enough to where you've probably seen people talk about 'super powers' from no-fap and no PMO, etc, right?

You're showing the nitty-gritty 'real-life super powers', that in abstaining nothing changes 'out there'. In fact, the up's and down's of life become even more evident, more acute, because we're no longer insulating ourselves from feeling real life. But in the face of all that- the good, the bad and even the ugly- you're doing it, brother!

What changes is --> ourselves! What did Bruce Lee say? "Pray not for an easy life, but for the strength to endure a hard one."

This is the true super power, that we're able to live and enjoy life on its own terms, and not trying to derive pleasure out of some fantasy-life we've created, only to awaken empty handed and let down.

Looking forward to your 300 days, brother (100 x 3 !). Will be popping that virtual (and maybe a real) bottle of champaign!
 
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Blondie

Respected Member
Thank you Phineas, your comment really meant a lot.

Yes, the "superpowers" are a real thing, but it's not all peaches and cream! lol. I think the superpowers claim can be deceiving, or at least, misunderstood. The superpower I've gained from all of this, is the opportunity to actually fix my life and not waste it chasing fake highs and neglecting real life lows, so as not to learn anything from them.

Sure, that might not sound quite as "sexy" as having the newfound ability to conquer the world tomorrow, but it's the truth.

These days the truth is looking pretty sexy! :cool:

Thanks again Phineas.

Best
 

GBS

Respected Member
Looking forward to your next post. @Blondie you inspire us all. It’s possible, that’s the message. How much of your 10 months has been in monk mode can I ask?

In an earlier comment (several pages back) I think you or someone else wrote that in the years to come you will look back on this as a turning point in your life. I loved that. I am not sure how many people realise the enormity of this. Remember out their in the world there are literally millions of men who are desensitised and they’re ruining their lives. You are helping us lot get ahead of the curve. It’s an amazing thing you do and we applaud you.

Keep going. Never stop.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 300! Ten months porn free.

I can't believe I'm actually here... As they say, what we've done once before we can do again, and today definitely proves that is true. We are all on different parts of this journey; for some of us getting to 3 days porn free is a gigantic achievement, for others 90 days is a great day. These are all momentous occasions and the only person we can and should compare ourselves to is the guy or gal standing proudly in the mirror. For me, getting to 90 days is something great but it is not hard to get to these day, nor does it feel beyond my reach, but 10 months, well, I've only done this once in my entire life.

It's funny, I write this today with joy in my heart but also a little sadness too. It's crazy to think I'm 39 and I've only gone 20 months completely porn free in the last 26 years of my life! Obviously my porn use back in the day was pretty "innocent" compared to what it was in my late 20s and 30s. I mean hell, back then you would click the download button then run off to watch an episode of Friends, hoping by the end of the show your ONE picture would have downloaded enough to get to the "good stuff" :cool:. It was a completely different world back then, and thank god for that! But you know what, if I've learned anything over this last while, is that I can handle the sadness and grief without running away - life really will be okay.

It's okay that I feel bad. Feeling bad makes me want to change all the more, and change is what us addicts need the most. We don't need "one more picture" or "just one more session then I'll quit" to fix things, because we know that road is a lonely road that leads to nowhere.

Are we not tired of that lonely road?

Thanks @GBS for your comment, that really meant a lot!

As far as monk mode goes, I don't think I've ever "officially" done that this whole 10 month streak, but I guess that depends on what you define as Monk mode. I haven't masturbated once, but I have been having sex with my girl all this time (with Os), which I don't personally see as a problem for my recovery. I did go a whole month without sex around the third month mark because my dick was softer than a freshly pressed noodle, but that was from a bad flatline. Then 2 months ago, I choose to go 30 days without an orgasm while still having sex, which was a great experience and one I'll probably seek out again real soon. I did see some benefits from that and it was nice to know I could control the hardest thing in the world for me to control, wanting to have an orgasm during sex. Lastly, I was on a trip by myself for over 2 weeks recently and I didn't MO as well.

I realize my situation is different than some on this forum, seeing that I'm still having sex with my girl while I also reboot. My girlfriend never saw porn as cheating as some couples do on RN, although my few sessions with camgirls last year definitely challenged that opinion a bit. Because of this however, our whole dynamic is different than others going through this very same thing. I was always truthful with her from the beginning of our relationship that I sometimes looked at porn, and often, we would even laugh about it. Four years ago, I was the one who asked her to keep me accountable because I wanted to quit (not for any moral reasons), but because I was wasting so much time and thought it was a childish thing for a grownup man to be engaging in. She agreed and has been my partner in crime ever since. :cool:

So is that monk mode? I don't really know, but whatever it is, it's working for me!

Best man, congrats on your success, you're really making some great progress. You are an inspiration to us all.

Thank you @Ezel. And God bless you brother!
 
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