Porn is not an option

IamTrying

Member
Thanks @WinkTinkTillium and @EarthWalker.

I think that's one of the biggest lessons I learned after my big relapse a few years ago. No matter how great it is to be away from porn, if your life is still shit, and you have no goals beyond "don't look at porn" well, the beast might just come back to haunt you because the underlining problems are still the same - you have way too much time on your hands.

So think big, way bigger than getting over porn.

Do you know why Julius Caesar wasn't a porn addict? Because there's no time to be a wanker when you're conquering France.

Thus, Caesar said "Seize the day" and not "Seize our dicks"
Wow , great quote. I learned something today.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 322

I woke up today feeling excited, I've only been free from porn this long once in my life.

At the moment, 11 months porn free is just around the corner and 12 months is just a few blocks away!

My urge levels have been low for quite some time, but I will stay extra vigilant over the next 40 days all the same. In some ways since starting this streak, I can honestly say I haven't really been tempted to look, no not even once. When I say tempted, I mean a full on urge where your twiddling your thumbs going back and forth wanting to search or not search, having been lost in temptation for days or possibly weeks and just on the precipice of giving in. Luckily that hasn't happened and I'm quite grateful about that. Maybe it's my utter distaste for porn and how just the thought of doing it again makes me sick to my stomach, or maybe it lies dormant waiting for the "perfect storm" to catch me off guard - either way, being complacent is not an option.

Well that's enough for now.

Have a great porn-free Monday everyone!
 

GBS

Well-Known Member
Nice work @Blondie - the complacency point is forever. We can never relax again. Or can we? My therapist said that you can get off the cycle of addiction. It takes time for the ignoring it to be a habit. I am told we can do it. I want to believe that we can relax, but part of me says we must be vigilant until the day we die.

As you say the thought of going back makes you feel physically sick. So let’s just not be stupid and cruel to ourselves. Fapping to a screen….classy? Methinks not.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Thanks @WinkTinkTillium!

@GBS.
the complacency point is forever. We can never relax again. Or can we?
You know, I use to get bummed thinking that I would always have to be "vigilant" and not "normal" like everyone else I know. Of course, whatever the hell "normal' is was never defined! But now I don't care. To me it seems more work to pick up the shattered pieces of my life after a relapse than to just stay vigilant throughout the rest of my life.

One is redeeming the other is demeaning

I know I can and will be able to relax one day, but still, I will have to be watchful of some things - and that's okay by me.

So let’s just not be stupid and cruel to ourselves. Fapping to a screen….classy? Methinks not.
Lol Yes indeed!

We got this.

Best brother!
 

WinkTinkTillium

Active Member
We can never relax again. Or can we?
Sorry @Blondie not hijacking or anything but i had a thought for @GBS. GBS not sure if this is helpful or not but i smoked cigarettes for 13 years. quit will be 2 years ago come december. I currently dont think nor have an urge to smoke. But i know if I do have a cigarette/cigar/pipe etc etc it may be a very unwise decision and may lead to me smoking again, so i just dont. So I am hopeful the same will go for Porn. Like Blondie said :)
I know I can and will be able to relax one day, but still, I will have to be watchful of some things - and that's okay by me.
 
Nice work @Blondie - the complacency point is forever. We can never relax again. Or can we? My therapist said that you can get off the cycle of addiction. It takes time for the ignoring it to be a habit. I am told we can do it. I want to believe that we can relax, but part of me says we must be vigilant until the day we die.

As you say the thought of going back makes you feel physically sick. So let’s just not be stupid and cruel to ourselves. Fapping to a screen….classy? Methinks not.
I am in the " complacency point is forever" camp BUT imo we can relax - life is SOO much more relaxing - with long term abstinance! Our brain changes for the better.

Sure some vigilance and awareness is necessary but it gets easier over time and there's nothing so bad about simply maintaining some semblance of awareness to avoid something that robbed us of so much.

I think Blondie puts it very well - it's soo much easier and more rewarding to put in that extra effort then it is to deal with the lapses.

I mean the work of recovering from say 10 lapses is probably a lot harder then the effort to maintain 10 years - once the first year or so has passed. The effort is front loaded. Then it's mostly rewards.

Like working out perhaps - a SOB to gain muscle but once there it takes a lot less to keep.
To build up muscle I trained to failure hard as hell 6 days a week - but once I had the muscle I mostly had fun doing sports and worked out like half that and kept all the muscle - so I just got to a be a muscular dude living an active lifestyle I enjoyed.

Eventually the aware abstinent life style can be the lifestyle we are accustomed to and enjoy imo- sorry for the hijack! This journal and thread is the crown jewel of this forum
 
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