Keep it up brother! Beat your old streak. Good on ya!Day 131
Yesterday was a great day. Many goals I've been working on, both at school and life, are starting to come together and I'm very happy about it. It feels great to be this far away from porn and I plan on keeping it that way. May we all understand to the bottom of our core that porn will never fix any of our problems, and will only make them worse.
Thanks for your insight Phineas. I really appreciate it. Yes, I agree, getting off of porn will not automatically fix your life. Let's face it, if your life sucked before porn, it will still suck after porn, except, you will now actually have a chance to fix it. I too believe the 90 days is sometimes over used, and can be misunderstood. Obviously 90 days porn free is fucking awesome, and in no way am I implying that it's not. However, depending on where you are in life, 90 days is really just the beginning of the journey. I know four years ago when I reached 90 days porn free, I felt like I was on top of the world. Although i hated many parts of my life, mostly my job, and lack of education, it was an amazing event. When I hit 180 days was even better, because not only had I refrained from porn, but I had started to get my shit together in other areas of my life. However (you knew this was coming!) two weeks before my year and half mark, I blew it. Why, because I still hated my life, especially my job, and I hated myself for staying in it so long. Long story short, shit hit the fan at work, and over the course of three weeks all of my defenses went out the window.It can be strange territory when you've met all your goals regarding abstinence from porn, and whatever else. Like, "What do I do now...?"
This ambiguous place is like maybe I 'should' be doing something? But all we're doing is living life free from our unwanted behaviors, and that's good enough.
I try to think of it different for myself, like, "I'm just training to live life free from P, PMO..." if I'm doing any kind of goal.
What get's a lot of guys is, either expecting all these 'super powers' after reaching X-amount of days, or expecting some unrealistic euphoric life after accomplishing their 90 days, etc... Not saying these are your issues...
How I think of it now is, 'Life goes on'. I'm the same me I was but without P, PMO, or MO (if that's included) in my life. In fact, life doesn't necessarily get any easier, but I get stronger and more resilient, and I'm able to handle things better. This is of course once I learn to handle my emotions better. Because, I think you mentioned this recently, we now get to face our emotions without avoiding them through our addictions. But, hey, that's growing, right?
Wishing you well, brother.
I'm not sure how long your longest streak has been but I can tell you from my own experience, that after 500 something porn free days, there is nothing worse than seeing your reflection in the computer screen after a five hour session...
Porn is not an option: I don't remember where I originally saw this phrase...
Porn is not an option! Hell yeah. I have also been telling myself "this is not who I am anymore, " which has been helpful during to times of temptation. Glad you are staying strong bro.133
Today I'm feeling pretty good and I'm ready for a new goal. 150 days is just a little over two weeks away! I've only been clean 5 months twice in the last 4 fours years, so reaching this milestone will be pretty big. I will accomplish this the same way I've accomplish everything else so far. I will remind myself of these truths daily.
1. Porn is not an option: I don't remember where I originally saw this phrase (it might of have been Gabe Deem or possibly Noah Church), either way, it had a huge influence on my first streak of 500 something days. Thus, I will continue to use it. The phase "Fuck porn" seems to help me as well.
2. Porn doesn't exists: I also imagine that porn simply doesn't exits for me, and it is nowhere to be found. Which means that I imagine in my mind that I can't find porn on the internet, even if I wanted to, nor does it exist on my cellphone, or TV etc. Although this is not actually true, why not fantasize (visualize?) that it is true, especially if it helps me out in the end? I mean If the mind fucks us over with its mind tricks on us, why not pull one over on it? And further, for all intents and purposes, porn really hasn't existed for almost all of human history, and the very idea that we "need it" or that we "just have to look" or "I just need a release" is absolute nonsense! Our ancestors (rightly) would have cast our sorry asses out of the tribe and into the wild if they knew the level us "modern men" have degraded down to.
Well, it looks like I'm out of time.
Stay strong everyone!
Sex, intimacy, emotional connection, confidence, all good things! Congratulations on 135! Porn not good. Fuck porn. Happy for you man Keep it up!! ( Literally and figuratively, pun intended)Day 135
We had sex again this morning. I decided not to get off because I did last night, but it was great nonetheless! It feels great to feel sexual again. I'm definitely going through some withdrawals symptoms, yesterday was pretty shity, but that is to be expected. However, knowing that my brain is getting better, and things are improving, really helps me to lean into the withdrawal periods and buck up and take it for what it is.
This gives me hope for the future! Keep on it brother!Day 138
I'm feeling good today. We've had sex three times over the last 48 hours, and my man is still game for more action! Who knows, I might have overdone it, but I was so happy that he's working, that I couldn't stop myself. Even if a flatline happens because of it, I know from here on out it will only get better and better!
Everyone stay strong!