Porn is not an option

Blondie

Respected Member
Thanks @First_step_thousand_miles!

In all actuality, I'm planning on studying all day long for my celebration. This is a good thing, I would rather have my head stuck in a book any day than have my head stuck in the palm of my hand. :cool:

However, next weekend the lady and I will be going to the mountains for a night, so that will be delightful.

Thanks brother.
 
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PrometheusUnbound

Active Member
Hi Blondie. I've just been reading through your journal for the first time, rather than just updates. I think it really shows how a life perspective shift is needed, not just a habit change, and that the road to success is paved with near-misses and challenges. It's really helpful. Cheers.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Thanks @PrometheusUnbound.

I think it really shows how a life perspective shift is needed, not just a habit change, and that the road to success is paved with near-misses and challenges.
Yes this has really been a game changer for me. So much of my "porn issue" in the past was using it because I hated my life and what I hadn't accomplished. I knew deep down inside I was better than the man I was being, and knowing that made me run to things to "forget" about it.

Best to you brother.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 357

Had sex with the Lady yesterday and noticed something that I wanted to quickly share. This shouldn't be triggering, but just heads up in case.

I've always been a butt man (plus everything else lol) and I have no shame in saying so. The female shape of the butt is so divine it makes me even question my doubts of a higher form of existence. Who knows, maybe there is a god? But I digress. Needless to say, I've always been in love.

However, porn really made my love go to extremes and I definitely started to "fetishized" them in my porn viewing habits, honest truth, it was often my main viewing experience. However, I've noticed recently that this has really stopped for me, and for a while it was almost alarming lol. "My god" I would think to myself, "Have I become gay?". Naturally I was thinking this with a raging hard on. The addict mind will say insane shit while you're in recovery to get you to "test" yourself - just don't do it!

Nevertheless, yesterday, this voice was completely absent from my thoughts and I enjoyed everything about my girl without being obsessed with one body part. One could say it was a holistic sexual experience.

Now don't get me wrong, there is no greater angle than that view, but it feels more natural now, and not something I'm consciously consumed with.

Butt, that's all I have to say about that. :cool:

Have a great day everyone!

Also, fuck porn!
 
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downhillfromhere

Well-Known Member
This seems really profound! I’ve been quite obsessed with the same thing for a long time, but I have to say that if those thoughts become weaker with time away from porn that’s a good thing. I don’t really like the feeling of needing to see a specific body part from a specific angle in order to get off, if you understand.

Those things became pretty specific to me (mild trigger warning here) mostly ass and face related things - and I was always chasing that perfect image in order to be able to climax. Of course everyone has their likes and dislikes, but I think that sort of very specific thing seriously impacts your ability to appreciate your partner truly and fully, like you mentioned.
 
Day 357

Had sex with the Lady yesterday and noticed something that I wanted to quickly share. This shouldn't be triggering, but just heads up in case.

I've always been a butt man (plus everything else lol) and I have no shame in saying so. The female shape of the butt is so divine it makes me even question my doubts of a higher form of existence. Who knows, maybe there is a god? But I digress. Needless to say, I've always been in love.

However, porn really made my love go to extremes and I definitely started to "fetishized" them in my porn viewing habits, honest truth, it was often my main viewing experience. However, I've noticed recently that this has really stopped for me, and for a while it was almost alarming lol. "My god" I would think to myself, "Have I become gay?". Naturally I was thinking this with a raging hard on. The addict mind will say insane shit while you're in recovery to get you to "test" yourself - just don't do it!

Nevertheless, yesterday, this voice was completely absent from my thoughts and I enjoyed everything about my girl without being obsessed with one body part. One could say it was a holistic sexual experience.

Now don't get me wrong, there is no greater angle than that view, but it feels more natural now, and not something I'm consciously consumed with.

Butt, that's all I have to say about that. :cool:

Have a great day everyone!

Also, fuck porn!
That's awesome dude. Getting to the point where you're not obsessed with certain body parts & being more holistic as you say is a true sign of healing. Great stuff!
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 358

Thanks @downhillfromhere and @First_step_thousand_miles.

Yes, this change is great and I look forward to seeing what else happens in the future. The further I get away from all of this, it always amazes me the things that I thought were me, are now slowly fading away and are not as important anymore. True, I still like what I like, and I would say butts will always be my "thing", but it feels so much more relaxed and toned down, normal if you will.

Normal has never been so sexy!

I try to explain all of this to my girlfriend but yet I find it difficult to explicate, because on one hand my world is considerably less sexualized, but on the other, I'm more horny than a raging bull lol. Thank god for that. :cool:

Thanks brothers!
 

Ezel

Well-Known Member
I'm glad you enjoyed yourself with your woman Blondie. Yeah I get what you're saying my man, after all how couldn't we, we are men. Each one of us 😂 has its own thing 😉, i myself used to skip to that favorite body part to get me off and ignore the woman completely. It's reassuring that after awhile into the reboot we don't look at woman like just a body part, and we start to look at them as these beautiful human beings that they really are...
Even though I'm still far behind to get to that stage, but one day hopefully I will reach it like you did...
Have fun my brother, you deserve it.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Thanks you @Ezel!
Each one of us 😂 has its own thing 😉
Indeed my man! :cool:
It's reassuring that after awhile into the reboot we don't look at woman like just a body part, and we start to look at them as these beautiful human beings that they really are...
Beautiful prose Ezel, thanks! That made my day.
Even though I'm still far behind to get to that stage, but one day hopefully I will reach it like you did...
I can assure you that you have everything that I have to overcome this. I see it in your writing everyday.

Keep fighting the good fight brother.
 

GBS

Well-Known Member
Hi @Blondie . Really like what @Ezel said about the reboot making one see women as women and not just body parts, or a lump of meat (as my wife slightly crudely accused me of back in March!). I have the same new feeling and it’s wonderful.

Keep going. What day are you marking as your year by the way?
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Thanks @GBS!

Yes, it's great seeing real progress in this regard. There's nothing wrong with liking certain "body parts" per se, but it's what porn does to that natural instinct that is the concern.

I guess you could say I now objectify "holistically" lol

I'm marking my 12 months on Thursday at day 360.

Thanks again sir.
 
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