Porn is not an option

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 140

Today marks 10 days away from my 5 month goal. I'm pretty excited about this and I'm going to be extra vigilant so as to get there in good shape. To get there, and more importantly, to get to 6 months, I've also decided to cut out all alcohol for the next 40 days. Drinking a good wine with the lady is a hell of a good time, but it just seems I've been doing it too much recently, leaving me often feeling regretful about it afterwards; all feelings I don't want right now. Alas, If I could only drink one glass, but no, that doesn't seem to be in my personality. Thus, no more for a while!

Everyone stay strong and remember; looking at porn to relieve your stress, will only make your life 10x more stressful!
 
D

Deleted member 27008

Guest
140 days... I can't even imagine being able to achieve that. really congratulations. I read a few of your posts and saw that you are good at making long series. Do you have any important advice you can give to people who have just started the series on this subject?
 

Blondie

Respected Member
140 days... I can't even imagine being able to achieve that. really congratulations. I read a few of your posts and saw that you are good at making long series. Do you have any important advice you can give to people who have just started the series on this subject?
Hi Resurrection. Welcome. I got to make this quick today, but here is what I have for you. It seems you've had some good streaks in your past, but want to move on beyond those for some real freedom from porn. You mention you get horney, you get stressed etc., which eventually makes you succumb to the temptations of porn. I understand that sentiment completely, as do all of us here. Just today, I had a bad morning at school, I felt like I didn't do as good of a job as I should of, thus, I was feeling sorry for myself on the ride back to my house. I wouldn't say I was tempted to look at porn, but the thought definitely crossed my mind. Why? Because, this feeling down about myself, would have made me jump for porn instantly in my past, because I've trained my mind to go there when feeling down. But today as soon as I had that thought, I told myself "Porn is not an option" and forced my mind to think of other ways to make myself feel better; mediation, taking a walk, etc. And here I am, not even an hour later, and I almost feel back to normal. Imagine if I would have screwed up and looked at porn (I speak this from experience), I would have wasted almost 5 months clean for not even an hour of feeling bad. What a stupid thing to do right? But we all do it, have done it!

My lesson is, take control of your mind, you are not its passive slave, so stop acting like it. Your mind tells you it's horney, tell it to shut up! Your mind tells you to look at porn because you're stressed, tell it to screw off, porn is not an option! Make your mind be your bitch, and not the other way around. And when I say porn is not an option, what do I mean by that? I mean to say, is that I'd rather jump off a fucking building than look at porn. I rather cheat on my girl (which I won't) than look at porn. I rather scream bloody murder like a madman cursing the gods, God whatever you want to call it, than look at porn again. That's how much I hate porn.

Do you feel that way about porn brother? Because when you do, not looking at porn becomes considerably easier. Because then it's not "I can't look at porn" it's "Why would I look at porn?" and "What the hell has porn ever done for me, besides make me a miserable, sexually vacuous douchebag!

Peace

"Luck often enough will save a man, if his courage holds"
 
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Deleted member 27008

Guest
"I mean to say, is that I'd rather jump off a fucking building than look at porn. I rather scream bloody murder like a madman cursing the gods, God whatever you want to call it, than look at porn again. That's how much I hate porn. "
Really great words my friend. I really think so. But I can't feel like that right now. I've been so depressed for 2 days that I can't turn these thoughts into feelings and actions. I really have no strength. I promise to repeat these sentences much more sincerely when I gather myself a little. My only wish right now is to get rid of this damn depression and emotional breakdown. I can't feel any emotion. this is a damn thing. I am like a robot. I don't have any human feelings.
Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts and advice with me.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Try not to be too hard on yourself, it's only human to be human. Relapses happen, and most of us here don't get ourselves out of this trap in one fell swoop, it takes many time getting back up again. You live and you learn, that's life. I sure as hell have gone back to the filth many a time. But as you progress, your life gets better and better, and you do it less and less. It's not exactly a linear process for a many of us (though we should always try our best!).

Focus your mind on how great it felt to be free of porn those glorious days, than on the one day you screwed up. Those days are the life you want for yourself, so don't worry about the bad day. Focus your mind on the good, not the bad.

Stay strong!
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 145

Feeling good today. This week has been genuinely good at school and my mind seems to be more focused and relaxed. I'm definitely liking the new me. I've stayed true to my word and have not been drinking, nor will I this weekend. No alcohol for me until I ring in 6 months porn free.

#Fuckporn
 
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Blondie

Respected Member
Update:

Looks like I might be experiencing a little flatline. We were fooling around today and he got about 80% hard. Not terrible, but certainly not what it's been like the last few weeks. At this point, I really don't care, because I know it's getting better and better in the long run. Almost 5 months out and still experiencing this nonsense. It's ironic, the lies I told myself when I was doing it every 3 or 4 months, are proving to be complete bullshit. Touching porn, even only once and a while, can still fuck your shit up! At least for me.

Stay strong everyone.
 

Burnside627

Member
Update:

Looks like I might be experiencing a little flatline. We were fooling around today and he got about 80% hard. Not terrible, but certainly not what it's been like the last few weeks. At this point, I really don't care, because I know it's getting better and better in the long run. Almost 5 months out and still experiencing this nonsense. It's ironic, the lies I told myself when I was doing it every 3 or 4 months, are proving to be complete bullshit. Touching porn, even only once and a while, can still fuck your shit up! At least for me.

Stay strong everyone.
All your posts are simple and to the point. I’m thinking along the same way as you man. I have a short time being clean after finally committing to it, but I know myself and just like you said I can’t just go back. I haven’t gotten to a flatline yet. Not sure how I’m gonna approach it when that happens, but it’s good to know there are guys out there that I can discuss it with.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Hi Burnside,

Congratulations on your decision on quitting porn. That's a truly epic decision!

Yes, going back (after an abstinence) is the worse thing you can possible do, as least for me. My brain's reaction to it seems to have been just as bad, if not worse, than when I looked at porn every day. Hard to believe but true. As far as the flatline, just embrace it as a long lost friend. A flatline is nothing more than your body fixing itself. Period. Plus, you won't be horney, so you shouldn't feel tempted to look at porn!

You got this man!
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 146

Today I woke up pissed as hell and practically depressed. You see, I've been dealing with a physical problem for many years. I won't go into any great detail about it, but needless to say, it's no fun. This problem is mostly from neglect of taking care of my body over the years, with things adding up, one year at a time, until my body finally said fuck you. However, I've been working on fixing this problem over the last few years; by stretching, losing weight, and working out, etc. And the good thing is, it actually IS getting better. But last year, something else was added to the mix, for reasons also of past neglect. I thought this new thing was getting better, but yesterday, it went right back to square one with it's symptoms; leaving me feeling hopeless and in despair.

What must I do to make myself feel better? Should I look at porn? My god women are beautiful! They are the greatest gifts in the world! That would definitely make me forget about my sorrow, at least temporarily. Should I break my vow of no alcohol for the next month and drink till I forget my sorrows and woes? That too would be fun, at least for a while. Or should I do the one thing that has got me closer to my goal of a healthy body; working out, stretching and eating healthy?

Writing this, the choice is so easy to see.

Life is no fucking movie, it has many ups and downs, and often, it leaves you feeling defeated. But what is down, without up? What is the good, without the bad? What is happiness, without sadness? What is beauty without ugliness? What is a healthy body, without experiencing a unhealthy body?

The Pursuit of Happiness, what the hell is that? Maybe we all should be seeking the Pursuit of Reality! The Pursuit of Duality! The duality of both the good and the bad. So then, when we experience the bad, we don't run off like children to our favorite ticket to the Land of Temporary Happiness!

But I'm done for now. It's time to workout and do the one thing that will get me anywhere tangible!

Stay strong everyone!
 
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Blondie

Respected Member
Day 149

Anyone can refrain from porn for 90 days,
All it takes is resolve and a little action.
But to accept life on its own terms for the rest of one's days,
Takes everything you have, with no strong reactions.
It requires a new paradigm shift, a new way of thinking,
Because real life is no five hour dopamine high in the making!
They say absence makes the heart grow stronger,
But abstinence from porn often makes the brain scream "No longer!"
This is why it's incumbent on us to completely change our lives,
So that we no longer hear porn's knocking, nor realize, it even survives.
To quit is a great thing, but to completely change one's life, is even more desirable,
Because at the end of the day, we must know, deep in our hearts, that a new life is acquirable.
 
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