Porn is not an option

Blondie

Respected Member
Been thinking this morning concerning what I've been writing about the last few days, and I just wanted to clarify something. I don't mean to say us men don't have feelings, nor that we shouldn't necessarily share them at key moments (like here for example or in our relationships), just that historically we have been the more stoic of the sexes, and I think that's okay and should remain that way. I definitely wasn't calling back to some macho bullshit or anything, just more of a general statement of manhood throughout the ages.

Also, speaking as a man, it is and has been a great benefit to understand what I'm feeling at certain moments and more importantly "why" I'm feeling them, especially when it comes to beating this porn habit. All good things.
 

TryingHarder

Active Member
In recovery, the idea that someone recognizes that they are an addict, gets sober, and moves smoothly and consistently into recovery is a myth. The success of sobriety comes with steps forward and steps backward. It is easy to appreciate moments of success and learning. However, there is much to be gained from our struggles and failures as well. We slow or eliminate our growth and progress when we deny our struggles and failures. When we acknowledge and learn from our struggles and failures, we make future success possible. While aiming for failure is counter-productive, it is important to acknowledge and learn from our struggles and failures in sobriety and recovery.
Thanks man, I needed to read this today. :cool:
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 374

I'm really feeling the stress today. Many projects and papers are starting to add up, and it seems I'm just trying to stay afloat at the moment. I slept terribly last night, I woke up at four in the morning just thinking about it all, hoping I can get it all done in time. Also, I've been having the most insane dreams - vivid dreams - and they just seem to be getting more crazy as the months go on. I've mentioned before that I never remember my dreams when looking at porn, so it's really noticeable when you start "having" them again.

Further, I can honestly say that after an entire year, I have yet to find anything that soothes my nerves like porn does. Meditation is nice, going for a walk is pleasant, working out is great, and yes, sex with my "newly found" cock size ;) is fantastic as well; yet all these things last for 60 minutes or less, while porn could last for hours, keeping me in its eternal trance and begging me to forget all that was around me for hours at a time.

I must confess, I don't miss porn, but damn I miss the trance it brings.

But I guess that's the problem with the whole enterprise isn't it, because there is nothing in this world that can give you such a natural high. Back in the day, a king's harem might of provided him with 700 fresh pussy throughout his entire lifetime. Nowadays, the biggest loser can "have" that much pussy within an hour, with his only accomplishment being learning how to type "pussy" with one hand! 🤦‍♂️

Aw shit, fuck this world, and fuck porn.

Over and out.
 
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Ezel

Well-Known Member
But I guess that's the problem with the whole enterprise isn't it, because there is nothing in this world that can give you such a natural high. Back in the day, a king's harem might of provided him with 700 fresh pussy throughout his entire lifetime. Nowadays, the biggest loser can "have" that much pussy within an hour, with his only accomplishment being learning how to type "pussy" with one hand! 🤦‍♂️
Lol 🤣, keep those golden nuggets coming king👑, god bless...
 

downhillfromhere

Well-Known Member
Great stuff Blondie 😄 I have to agree about the trance-like state, the feeling of ”coming home” in a way… it’s no wonder it has that effect, because the brain thinks that the greatest thing ever is happening, while in reality we’re sitting there looking like a fool. It’s tragic what we’ve been sucked into here. But we’re getting out!

Hope you can find something to take that stress away! Remember that taking care of yourself is most important, but I definitely understand that feeling of being overwhelmed.

What I hope will come to me eventually is a state of flow that many creative people talk about - when the world just falls away and you’re one with the instrument or whatever you might me doing. Could be writing, poetry, dancing, painting, carpentry, anything like that. I imagine it can have a soothing trance-like effect and act like a stress reliever.
 

SimonM

Active Member
Don't stress out too much about your education. You know, it will all work out. Just try to enjoy the learning, and whether you get an A or a B, or even something worse once in a while, it'll be alright! Trust me I have a PhD (I really do) lol.

I used to get so worried about every assignment, and it took me a long time to realize that it often wasn't so crucial to do everything perfectly. When I was able to not worry about how I would do I was actually able to relax more, which helped me absorb the material better and the outcome, shocklingly, was that my grades were just as good as when I stressed over every assignment.

Stay calm and carry on! :)

... and yeah... I miss porn for the relaxation (or maybe numbing is the better word) too. I find nature is the best place for me to find calm. We just gotta take the time to go for a walk/bike ride whatever...
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Thank you @downhillfromhere.
I have to agree about the trance-like state, the feeling of ”coming home” in a way… it’s no wonder it has that effect, because the brain thinks that the greatest thing ever is happening, while in reality we’re sitting there looking like a fool. It’s tragic what we’ve been sucked into here. But we’re getting out!
Yeah, it's crazy, I don't want to look at porn, but I crave that absolute high that it brings and I haven't forget how it feels just yet - Maybe one day. However, I'm proud of myself for seeing the difference between the two, because there IS a difference. Yes, it is tragic, but every tragedy has a beautiful ending, an old habit dies and a new one takes its place. :cool:
Hope you can find something to take that stress away! Remember that taking care of yourself is most important, but I definitely understand that feeling of being overwhelmed.
Yes, I went for a walk today. I felt much better afterwards.

Thanks man.

@SimonM: Thank you. Yes, I need to learn how to chill the fuck down when it comes to my schoolwork. On one hand I'm actually very chill about it, but on the other, I can freak out, probably because I still procrastinate more than I wish I did.

I read this somewhere recently and it really struck me, something like, we need to stop trying to fail, and start trying to succeed. I thought that was great, because that's what I get stuck in, trying NOT to fail, even though I'm so far from failing I don't know what the fuck I'm worried about. But nevertheless, the fact remains.

Thanks for the advice!

Best to you.
 
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TryingHarder

Active Member
Yeah, it's crazy, I don't want to look at porn, but I crave that absolute high that it brings and I haven't forgetting how it feels just yet...
Amen. And fuck that shit! ;) This is exactly what I'm going through at the moment. I too miss the high of porn but have to remind myself what a disturbing and grotesque road it takes to get there and how ultimately useless indulging in porn is.
 

Sammyjo

Active Member
I read this somewhere recently and it really struck me, something like, we need to stop trying to fail, and start trying to succeed. I thought that was great, because that's what I get stuck in, trying NOT to fail, even though I'm so far from failing I don't know what the fuck I'm worried about. But nevertheless, the fact remains.
I saw something like this yesterday too! I meant to post it here, forgot, and now can't find it. I THINK the one I saw was You don't fail until you cease trying to succeed. (Doesn't sound quite right.) There are so many quotes about try/fail/success, but the one I saw was SO spot on.

That's all I got. Have a good day my peeps!
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 375

Thanks everyone for your help and encouragement yesterday: @Ezel, @SimonM , @downhillfromhere, and @TryingHarder, that really helped me! And thank you @Sammyjo for that meme, that's a great one, I definitely needed that! :)

Yesterday I got over half of that project done, so I slept a lot better last night. Sleep is good I tell you what!

You all have a great porn-free Friday
 
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Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
I must confess, I don't miss porn, but damn I miss the trance it brings.

This is a testament to the supernormal stimulation that today's high-speed internet porn is. Nothing quite matches it (unless you're a mystic ;)), because it's not normal, as you pointed out. And this is the problem with how it affects our brain, because it's so not normal that it fries our dopamine receptors, and here we are...

Eventually we'll reacclimate to the normal highs of just living life...

How deceptive the whole thing is, giving us such a high while destroying what gives us that feeling to begin with, to where nothing else in life pleasures us- except porn! Insidious.
 

GBS

Well-Known Member
I was in a bad place 36 hours ago. Just a low because things at home were not going in the right direction. The low made me think, albeit for about 10 seconds, that it would be amazing to crack one out and do it in the deepest “it’s not my fault” trance. I was expecting quite a heroin cumming moment. Then I snapped myself back to where I am. And who I am doing this with. And I thought @Blondie would be so nice to me if I fell off the wagon, but actually he’d be a bit gutted.

You and others are part of my rocks. I just want you to know that.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 376

@Phineas 808: Thank you brother.
Nothing quite matches it (unless you're a mystic ;)), because it's not normal, as you pointed out. And this is the problem with how it affects our brain, because it's so not normal that it fries our dopamine receptors, and here we are...
lol yes it's anything BUT normal! Insane in fact. Sometimes I'll find myself still wanting it, especially when moody or stressed. It's the damnedest thing, to not want anything to do with the substance but everything with its effect! I don't have too many porn flashbacks these days, but I still have some for that insane "high" it gives. Crazy shit indeed, and all the more reason to stay the hell away. I just remind myself how it feels afterwards and all the progress I've made over this last year.
eventually we'll reacclimate to the normal highs of just living life...
I can't wait. Can I push a button for that to start now??:)
How deceptive the whole thing is, giving us such a high while destroying what gives us that feeling to begin with, to where nothing else in life pleasures us- except porn! Insidious.
Yep. If I ever wished to destroy a country from within its walls, porn would be my weapon of choice. Covid don't have shit on this immortal beast.

Do not touch! Do not negotiate! ⚠️⚠️

Best to you @Phineas 808.

@GBS: Thank you for that!
I was in a bad place 36 hours ago. Just a low because things at home were not going in the right direction. The low made me think, albeit for about 10 seconds, that it would be amazing to crack one out and do it in the deepest “it’s not my fault” trance.
Yes, if I've learned anything over this year or so, it's just to wait it out. It's amazing how insane those emotions can be in the heat of the moment though, however, even within 10 minutes they can often subside to normal levels. I can't tell you how many times I've relapsed over the years because of some stress that took care of itself quickly and left me wondering "Why did I turn to porn for this? It fixed nothing but left me with regret!" It's definitely a great feeling to get through the crucible and on to the other side. So congrats on that little battle, because I hear you're fighting with quite the large sword these days! ⚔️ 😁
You and others are part of my rocks. I just want you to know that.
Same to you sir!

Thanks again.

Last night I slept well but I still had some insane dreams, and even one that I relapsed in. Damn, that's hard to wake up to... Looks like my brain still has some "shit" to work through. If only I could extricate it like the other the shit in my body, wouldn't that be something! Speaking of which... you all have a great porn-free Saturday! :cool:
 

Nico

Active Member
Love this discussion on trance - I definitely used PMO like this, like a twisted sacred space to run energy and find bliss. I have done a lot of meditation, shamanic journeying and breathwork, and find this to be a lovely alternative. You don't have to be a mystic to access trance states or even bliss, as it happens naturally with strong breathwork (and other spiritual practices) I have had really beautiful and cosmic experiences. I find I have to create new rituals, less twisted sacred space - not for MO or sex yet, although I hope to do that later down the line. I do it because it is like prayer and inner work on the level of imagination/myth/dream, and can be very healing.
 

Nico

Active Member
Honestly I probably got addicted to spiritual practices and experiences, but I have this addictive streak, and it has to be channelled somewhere so why not into things that are beneficial rather than destructive
 
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