teach this kids in school! 10/10 teaching skills. Couldnt agree moreDay 391
I wrote this last summer in regards to relapsing and the lies we tell ourselves when in the moment. Furthermore, since it's hard to get a real measurement on the damage a porn relapse does to our brains, I used a diet analogy to visualize it. Not all relapses are created equal, and sometimes, out of our shame and guilt, we just keep digging a hole for ourselves deeper and deeper instead of just quitting while we're still ahead. I hope this might help some of you, when you're in the heat of the moment.
What Does a Porn Relapse do to our Brains?
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When we relapse, It's like porn bitch-slaps us and we fall to the ground. Then feeling low and depressed about our situation, we voluntarily grab a shovel and start to dig a hole under our own two feet to feel even lower and more depressed about ourselves - ground level is just not low enough for us it seems.
Seeing this pattern over the last year in regards to my food habits has really clarified that this isn't a "porn problem" per se but just a mental pattern I need to be cognizant of. Further, with food it's also easier to quantify what a "relapse" looks like and the damage it can cause you when you can look at the scale the next day and see for yourself, whereas with porn, the damage is a little harder to quantify.
For example, it makes no logical sense to say you were planning on eating two cookies, but then, after you eat four cookies, you get pissed about yourself and say "Fuck it, I've alreadly screwed up, so now I'll eat the whole bag (12 cookies!). If we break it down into calories it looks like this.
My fun snack for my cheat day = 2 cookies = 284 calories.
This isn't too bad, a little fun but nothing that will destroy my weight-loss goals.
My fuck up on my cheat day = 2 extra cookies = 568 calories.
This makes me feel bad about myself but I'm still in control and could stop. However, if I let my emotions get to me and I turn off the rational side of my brain, my rationalization will be "Well, I've alreadly fucked up now so I'm going to go all the way! What difference does it make?"
Well let me tell you, the difference is a hell of a difference!
My fuck up with a whole bag of cookies = 1704 calories!
As you can clearly see now, this is no "What difference does it make" type of mistake. This is your brain clearly and completely lying to you and you need to gently tell it to shut the the fuck up. It will take you weeks to recovery from this mistake, whereas before with four cookies, it would have been only a little blip on your diet radar.
So how does this relate to porn?
Let's think of things this way...
Here is a relapse calorie chart
Porn substitutes (bikinis, yoga pants, Instagram pictures etc.) but with no masturbation = 142 calories
Porn substitutes but with masturbation = 284 calories
Searching for porn and viewing a picture/video for a minute = 568 calories = it's time to turn that shit off son.
Viewing porn for 10 minutes = 1136 calories = Looks like we have a foody here!
Saying fuck it "What difference does it make" = 1704 calories! Send in the army and bring in a crane!
As this chart clearly and rationally points out, not all fuck ups are the same at the end of the day.
So next time ladies and gentlemen, when your mind tries to lie to you and says "What difference does it make", please refer to this porn calorie chart so you know better.
And if you find yourself with shovel in hand digging a pit, it's time to throw down the shovel and get out of your own self-created sorrow.
Not all pits are created equal.