Porn Is NOT Cheating, and Here is Why: Among Other Random Thoughts That Are Somewhat Related
This might be a controversial post, but what the hell, I've been thinking about these thoughts for a long time now, so I'd thought I'd get it out of my system. It goes without saying, even though I don't think porn is cheating, I for one don't deny the hurt it causes the porn addict's partner. Furthermore, I don't deny that the pain of discovery can be as bad for some partners
as if someone actually did cheat on them. However, as a man who puts great value in being rational and thoughtful, I believe the words we use should be used properly and honestly when talking about important subjects such as this, and feelings - yes, even those of the hurt partner - should NOT be included in the matter. Because at the end of the day, although the truth might make one cry, a tear does not prove a universal truth.
First for all, we have to forget about porn for a moment, and get right down to some cold hard facts, that almost no one wants to talk about in this ever so egalitarian age that we find ourselves living in. To be utterly blunt, most men in the world cannot cheat in the real sense of the term. For most men, I will be conservative here and say 80% of them, even just locking down consistent sex from one female is hard enough as it stands, much less, having found that woman (either in a marriage or relationship) and then trying to find someone else to cheat on. In fact, for most men, cheating literally makes no sense because it simply is not worth the effort. And unfortunately, for the bottom 20-30%, either because of lack of looks, success in life, or charm - probably all the above - they might not even find any "success" with women for their entire lives, and their only sexual options are porn, and paying for sex, or just completely giving up in that department. Yes, nature is fucking cruel.
Thus, when a man such as this man below, says he's never cheated, and self-righteously mocks any man who has cheated. Everyone knows (even though they wouldn't want to admit it) that this man's words have no true value to them, simply because he's never had an OPTION TO CHEAT, much less, maybe never even a girlfriend. His words do not admit reality. Now I'm not mocking this man or men like this in any way, I'm only stating it how I see it. Polite society often acts as if none of this is true (especially women) but looking at their actions, we can more easily discern the truth of the matter. As they say, actions speak louder than words.
However, if this man below says he's never cheated, then you can be assured, his words have true value to them, because, many many women want this man, and have literally thrown themselves at him. Thus, when he says he doesn't cheat, that actually means something, because he has the OPTIONS TO CHEAT, and probably every single day of the year. The first guy saying it's easy to not cheat, has no idea what he's talking about, because he's never had to say no to so many women who want to sleep with him. It's simply not a reality he can speak honestly of.
Therefore, we can conclude that just because a man says he's never cheated on his wife before, more often than not, this has no bearing in reality, at least not for the reality of many men. Because this so called "choice" was not defined by an actual decision, but by the realities that most men find themselves in. Morality has nothing to do with it, even though that does hold some men back. However, for the majority of men, it must be said that cheating is simply not an option, and if it is, it's not something that just falls into their lap like many top men, but rather, it's something they would have to purposely work for. What is more, in the modern dating market, many men are hardly even noticed by the female sex (look at the statistics of dating apps etc.), especially if they're older men or not good-looking. Thus, it is only a fantasy for most older men to even think that a young women would want him, especially a really attractive one, which brings us to porn.
Porn Is Nothing But A Fantasy
Porn is for the 80% of men, what real life is for the top 20% of men, that is, unlimited variety of women. Most forty year old men could NEVER cheat with a hot twenty year old in real life (only the top 10%-5% could), it's just simply not in the cards. Hell, for many forty year old men, it would be hard enough to cheat with someone their own age, much less, a young beauty in her twenties, although yes it can be done. What is more, take that same average man in his twenties, and most likely, he still would not be able to get with her, because if she's that attractive, she would be dating only the top 20% of guys anyway. Thus, a fantasy all around, from the twenty year old all the way to the seventy-nine year old.
Porn is not real. Porn is a fantasy
It is a crime to charge a man who looks at porn as if he was a cheater. If us porn addicts were actually cheaters, it would be just as easy for us to bang those twenty one year old's in real life as it would be to bang ourselves while looking at them. We all know that this is simply NOT the case and does not have any semblance of reality to it. Thus, any charge to the contrary should be done away with. It would be as if average women were charged with being gold diggers for simply being obsessed with Mr. Darcy, and constantly saying no to average good guys while waiting for a man that is just as tall, dark and handsome, and RICH as he was. And if you think I'm being sarcastic, I'm not. Many modern women are living in delusions of grandeur such as this, call it Disney Princess Syndrome, and one might even say it's an addiction. Both are living in fantasyland and choose not to live in reality. Furthermore, if you don't think this other modern addiction can't hurt men as much as porn hurts mostly women, then you haven't woken up to smell the roses yet. But that is a different conversation for a different time.
Porn addicts are many things, but cheaters in general are not one of them, although it is true that porn can lead to cheating for some of us. It also goes without saying, that camgirls undoubtedly start blurring the lines a little, since you're actually talking to someone in real life (Yes, I've done that a few times sorry to say), but even then, the reality of actually meeting any of these girls is slim to none. This is all a fantasy, a fantasy that can destroy marriages no doubt, but a fantasy nonetheless. Furthermore, when you add the addiction part to it, it is an extremely complicated situation that will never be solved with black and white thinking, much less over moralizing.