Porn is not an option

[Blondie]

I’m still pissing myself looking at the dude and his CUMputer. I am 60 years old going on 15 sometimes.

Indeed, I laughed entirely too hard when I saw that.

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

What is to be done? Part 2

Porn is such a touchy subject, because it deals with men and our biology, just as women wanting the best man they can get deals with their biology. It is in a man's biology to want variety in women, and to be successful in life and with women as well, and to be the "top dog", but the harsh reality is, most of us are rather ordinary gents, both in our looks and general deportment. Most of us are not ugly per se or utter rejects, but we're not Jason Momoa either, and it's imperative that we come to terms with this fact. Whoever we are, and whatever our station in life is at the moment, we must embrace the reality of that truth and not look for escape routes or fantasies, porn being the worst one. Although we can't change the way nature has made us, that is, in our looks and natural talents, we can change how we see ourselves, and what we must do to become the best men we can be for ourselves and our partners. This is how a man gains real respect in this world, not by how many women he's had, or how young or "hot" they were, but REAL respect, starting with respect for yourself. No one can can look up to you and respect you if you don't respect yourself first. And at the end of the day, most men just want respect, especially from their woman.

I was once at a strip club, I know, big surprise, but instead of the staring at the women and drooling like all the other men, I was there more to be in the presence of women and their wonderful femininity, and drool from the shadows! I know, maybe not much of a difference, but that's my truth and I'm sticking with it. And no, I'm not condoning going to strip clubs either, it's a total waste of money besides morally questionable, and decidedly so if you're in a relationship. Needless to say that was in my past life. However that night, eventually one girl set down beside me and we started to talk on a couch. And as all stripers do, she was trying to entice me to go have a private dance with her. I told her I wasn't there for that and just wanted to chill and chat. At first, she was annoyed by this, but then mentioned I seemed different than most men, thus, she stuck around for a while. As we talked, I pointed out all the hungry men in the room and all the funny shit they were doing, at that time I was just as fascinated by the social dynamics between men and women as I am now. She thought this was funny and we started to play a game of finding the most ridiculous scene before us. I finally asked her what she did to entice men for a private dance compared to her female competition in the room. She naturally pointed to her body and said "This!" Then I mentioned that although she was an absolute beauty there was something else that most men are looking for, even if they don't fully realize it themselves. Curious at my statement, she asked me what this could possibly be. "Respect" I said with a grin on my face. "Respect?" she said repeating my words, "Yes, respect. Any man these days can find a pair of beautiful boobs online at a click of a mouse. But Respect? Well, that's a needle and in a haystack. Most men go their entire lives never being truly respected, not by their wives, nor girlfriends and certainly NOT from society. If you can learn to look at a man, young or old, and make him think you respect and honor him just with your eyes, body language and soft feminine words, he'll be your client forever. Hot bodies are a dime a dozen, but the look of respect, well that's a diamond in the rough". I remember the girl sitting there in awe at my words, wondering if I was on crack or had completely lost my mind. Either way, I still sometimes wonder if she ever used my advice or not. Oh well, I've always had a heart for strippers, call it my "savior complex".

However, the point of this story is this. Men need respect like we need water and the air we breath, and unfortunately, we try to find it in all the wrong places: such as, the fake illusions of porn and its "variety", cheating, either on a test or with another woman or just life in general, being good at video games but sucking it up in real life etc. But these are all distractions from the real problem at hand, we don't respect ourselves, and if we don't respect ourselves, why would our partners, wives and world even give us a second thought? We would rather go to a stripper who "pretends" to respects us, then actually putting in the work, to become the man who would naturally be respected.

You don't have to have Brad Pitt looks to be respected, never forget that.

So if you're not getting respect from your wife, what can you do as a man do earn that respect? It is true that many women are broken and will never respect a man. However, it is also equally true that there are many women waiting for a man to earn her respect. Are you going to take the "easy" way, and run off to a temporary distraction, or are you going to take the hard path but the far more rewarding one?

And for you young guys out there who don't have relationships yet, don't ever give the time of day to women who don't respect you or your time, or just men in general. Believe me, life is too short and your value too great, to put up with that. Work on yourself, and value yourself first, and see what kind of woman you can get down the road when the time is right. But remember, they will never value you, if you don't value yourself first.

I know this a totally a random post that has gone all over the place, but I promise, in my head it IS related!

Man Blondie your posts are too deep brother! You really say the stuff that we're all thinking but are either afraid to say or haven't dug enough deep down enough to find. Very motivating!!!

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Porn Is NOT Cheating, and Here is Why: Among Other Random Thoughts That Are Somewhat Related

Part One

This might be a controversial post, but what the hell, I've been thinking about these thoughts for a long time now, so I'd thought I'd get it out of my system. It goes without saying, even though I don't think porn is cheating, I for one don't deny the hurt it causes the porn addict's partner. Furthermore, I don't deny that the pain of discovery can be as bad for some partners as if someone actually did cheat on them. However, as a man who puts great value in being rational and thoughtful, I believe the words we use should be used properly and honestly when talking about important subjects such as this, and feelings - yes, even those of the hurt partner - should NOT be included in the matter. Because at the end of the day, although the truth might make one cry, a tear does not prove a universal truth.

First for all, we have to forget about porn for a moment, and get right down to some cold hard facts, that almost no one wants to talk about in this ever so egalitarian age that we find ourselves living in. To be utterly blunt, most men in the world cannot cheat in the real sense of the term. For most men, I will be conservative here and say 80% of them, even just locking down consistent sex from one female is hard enough as it stands, much less, having found that woman (either in a marriage or relationship) and then trying to find someone else to cheat on. In fact, for most men, cheating literally makes no sense because it simply is not worth the effort. And unfortunately, for the bottom 20-30%, either because of lack of looks, success in life, or charm - probably all the above - they might not even find any "success" with women for their entire lives, and their only sexual options are porn, and paying for sex, or just completely giving up in that department. Yes, nature is fucking cruel.

Thus, when a man such as this man below, says he's never cheated, and self-righteously mocks any man who has cheated. Everyone knows (even though they wouldn't want to admit it) that this man's words have no true value to them, simply because he's never had an OPTION TO CHEAT, much less, maybe never even a girlfriend. His words do not admit reality. Now I'm not mocking this man or men like this in any way, I'm only stating it how I see it. Polite society often acts as if none of this is true (especially women) but looking at their actions, we can more easily discern the truth of the matter. As they say, actions speak louder than words.

View attachment 1038

However, if this man below says he's never cheated, then you can be assured, his words have true value to them, because, many many women want this man, and have literally thrown themselves at him. Thus, when he says he doesn't cheat, that actually means something, because he has the OPTIONS TO CHEAT, and probably every single day of the year. The first guy saying it's easy to not cheat, has no idea what he's talking about, because he's never had to say no to so many women who want to sleep with him. It's simply not a reality he can speak honestly of.
View attachment 1039
Therefore, we can conclude that just because a man says he's never cheated on his wife before, more often than not, this has no bearing in reality, at least not for the reality of many men. Because this so called "choice" was not defined by an actual decision, but by the realities that most men find themselves in. Morality has nothing to do with it, even though that does hold some men back. However, for the majority of men, it must be said that cheating is simply not an option, and if it is, it's not something that just falls into their lap like many top men, but rather, it's something they would have to purposely work for. What is more, in the modern dating market, many men are hardly even noticed by the female sex (look at the statistics of dating apps etc.), especially if they're older men or not good-looking. Thus, it is only a fantasy for most older men to even think that a young women would want him, especially a really attractive one, which brings us to porn.

Porn Is Nothing But A Fantasy

Porn is for the 80% of men, what real life is for the top 20% of men, that is, unlimited variety of women. Most forty year old men could NEVER cheat with a hot twenty year old in real life (only the top 10%-5% could), it's just simply not in the cards. Hell, for many forty year old men, it would be hard enough to cheat with someone their own age, much less, a young beauty in her twenties, although yes it can be done. What is more, take that same average man in his twenties, and most likely, he still would not be able to get with her, because if she's that attractive, she would be dating only the top 20% of guys anyway. Thus, a fantasy all around, from the twenty year old all the way to the seventy-nine year old.

Porn is not real. Porn is a fantasy

It is a crime to charge a man who looks at porn as if he was a cheater. If us porn addicts were actually cheaters, it would be just as easy for us to bang those twenty one year old's in real life as it would be to bang ourselves while looking at them. We all know that this is simply NOT the case and does not have any semblance of reality to it. Thus, any charge to the contrary should be done away with. It would be as if average women were charged with being gold diggers for simply being obsessed with Mr. Darcy, and constantly saying no to average good guys while waiting for a man that is just as tall, dark and handsome, and RICH as he was. And if you think I'm being sarcastic, I'm not. Many modern women are living in delusions of grandeur such as this, call it Disney Princess Syndrome, and one might even say it's an addiction. Both are living in fantasyland and choose not to live in reality. Furthermore, if you don't think this other modern addiction can't hurt men as much as porn hurts mostly women, then you haven't woken up to smell the roses yet. But that is a different conversation for a different time.

Porn addicts are many things, but cheaters in general are not one of them, although it is true that porn can lead to cheating for some of us. It also goes without saying, that camgirls undoubtedly start blurring the lines a little, since you're actually talking to someone in real life (Yes, I've done that a few times sorry to say), but even then, the reality of actually meeting any of these girls is slim to none. This is all a fantasy, a fantasy that can destroy marriages no doubt, but a fantasy nonetheless. Furthermore, when you add the addiction part to it, it is an extremely complicated situation that will never be solved with black and white thinking, much less over moralizing.

This is too true. I'll admit here, one of the genres I used to be into in my porn days was the cheating genre. Porn really is wish fulfillment to the max, but none of it makes you better. It just makes you more and more hollow, and the race to fill that hole (no pun intended) only leads to it becoming even more hollow than ever. We have to get away from that as fast as we can and move on to bigger & better things

 

[Blondie]

Day 535

All of this is so good @Blondie, I especially like how you commented on romance novels, as I’ve told my wife before there is no difference between what you are reading depicting an fantasy whirlwind encounter with the perfect man who treats her as a queen and has a power position of a job and yet has all the time in the world for them than there is the fantasy world of porn. Both create unhealthy expectations and create resentments between each other because it’s impossible for us to offer our significant other the fantasy they have been lead to believe is real.

Thanks @Jlied.

Yes, the romance novels are something many people don't want to talk about, even though in my opinion, they're very similar to porn, just the women version of fantasyland. You hear all day long about how sexist porn is and how "No real woman could ever live up to that!" However, there's nowhere in polite society that would dare to critique how almost all female fantasy could be described in the exact same way. Imagine if a man said to a group of women "No real man could ever live up to that nonsense!" Ha! he would be laughed out of town, and told to man up and get his ass in gear. Thus, my spiel to the stripper about how almost no man gets respect these days. I said it because it's true.

Obviously, not all romance should be thrown under the bus though, the classics are gold and should be upheld. I mentioned Mr. Darcy because everyone knows what I'm talking about, but actually I have no problem with Pride and Prejudice, and in fact, it's one of my favorite books and movies to be honest. Am I walking contradiction? Perhaps, but I'm okay with that. There is more truth in that novel about the differences between the sexes than you'll read anywhere these days from "educated" minds. Sure, one could say that no man could ever be Mr. Darcy etc. and thus, it's just a "cleaner" version of modern day shit romance novels. And yes, I wouldn't deny the fantasy element there, but the difference is in the details and how Jane Austen goes about upfolding her classic story. The story is very much about being honorable, and staying true to your virtues (both men AND women), and that everyone, no matter how good intentioned they are, has their faults and must deal with the consequences of their actions. Furthermore, it should be stated that Mr. Wickham, the "hot" womanizing soldier, would be the main lead in a modern romance novel, while Elizabeth's dumb sister, Lydia, who runs off and hooks up with him, would be portrayed as a free liberated woman escaping the patriarchy of her evil father and equally judging sisters, who have also been tragically corrupted by the patriarchy.

But yes, it is all a fantasy and is categorically aimed at the female psyche, but I see no problem with that in general, as long as women understand that no man will ever be like that, especially the rich part. What is more, just as women should respect the masculine psyche (which is utterly different than theirs) we men should also try to understand and respect the female psyche, and what makes them tick inside. I can't think of a better book than this one to serve that very purpose. Women's sexuality and hypergamy (I use that term not in a negative sense) is in of itself, a beautiful thing, it's only when it is perverted, like in our own masculine perversions, that it becomes a bad thing. But yes, as for the rest, let it all burn alongside our porn!

Funny enough Jlied, while I wrote this, I was listening to the Pride and Prejudice score - one of my favorites! Here's is one of the comments under the video.



I stand corrected!

Here's some more comments from the female addicts in the same thread. My comments are in bold.

Good, keep them that way (concerning above) feel great about it and don’t let anyone tell you differently.

Yes men, keep looking at porn, feel great about, and don't let anyone tell you differently! You deserve 20 young twenty year old's!

Hold onto those expectations. Don’t settle. You’ll find your Mr. Darcy.

Yes men, hold on to those expectations. Don't settle for an old women, you'll find your young 20 year old hottie sooner than later.

I have been comparing everyone of them to Darcy

Yes men, keep comparing you shity wife to those hot twenty year old's. You deserve it girl!

We all wish to be Elizabeth, but i think deep down we know that most of us are in the 99%, we're Charlotte Lucas.

I love the truthfulness of this woman. She is basically saying, we all wish to be Leonardo DiCaprio, but deep down we know we are the 80%. Wow, she even said 99%. Fuck, I think I have a crush on this girl!

Having realistic expectations for them comes with disappointment too don't worry, just dream on and get some cats...and cat toys lol

Another realistic girl, just speaking her truth. Yes men, having realistic expectations for your ever so normal wife comes with innumerable disappointments, don't worry though, just get some sex dolls and a bigger TV screen for your Pornhub consumption lol

Honestly, if there are no more people like that left in the world, I'll find some way to go back in time.

Honestly, if there are no more tits in the world like I've seen in pornland, I'll just go back to my porn. Thank you very much.

right, you better hold up your end of the bargain. Mr Darcys don't settle for less either. Think of it as one of the reasons to strive for your own betterment

WTF?

The thing is: Mr Darcy's don't exist, at least not in this planet

Another woman with her head on straight. All single men, find this woman and marry her.

Well, I might have just been proven wrong. I still love Pride and Prejudice though, and I everything I said about it is true; however, these comments are insane. Was it the beginning of the end? I don't know, you tell me. Perhaps Pride and Prejudice is the equivalent of porn subs for us men. It's not porn per se, but we all know were it leads, right to Fifty Shades of Hypergamy.

I’ve also come to really appreciate the phrase men are visual and women are emotional, that’s why men tell women what they want to hear and women alter their looks, both are facades we employ to attract the opposite sex, both cases end up with white lies from the start.

That's a good one. I also like this one "Men fall in love with their eyes, women with their ears"

I agree with the white lie part, especially in the modern sense where it has literally become nothing but a game. However, it always has been a game to some extent, even in more innocent times. Even animals do this in showcasing their beautiful feathers etc., this is only natural and how it should be. This is all a part of the eternal dance that I hope will never end, but only become more pure and authentic again.

Either way secrets, lies, fantasizing, gas lighting……it’s all utter shit behavior and as a result people get hurt in the end.

Truth.

I tend to lean more towards @GBS thinking in that anything I feel I can’t share with my partner because it would hurt her should be viewed upon as being deceitful and as such it is not strengthening our relationship. If you have to hide it 9 times out of 10 it’s shameful and at that point you are only hurting yourself.

I hope I'm not being misunderstood here. I don't think we should ever be hiding anything from our partners. I don't think porn is a sin per se, at least not in a religious sense; however, since I do think Porn is Not an Option, it practically is a commandant from God as far as I'm concerned, so maybe I do agree with you more than you or I even think I do.

Physically cheating it is not, disrespecting and devaluing yourself it certainly is. Being your best self can’t include anything that takes away from who you are or are trying to become.

100% agree.

Thanks for your comment, that was great to talk.

 

[Blondie]

Thanks @Androg.

Beautiful, insightful writing. Both men and women need to make respect of the other a priority. Even when it's tough to respect where the person has let their life go for the moment, we can respect their core self, their inner spark of potential.

What is in bold is undoubtedly true. It's imperative for all partners to try to understand the other from their own point of view, and try to see well beyond just their addiction, To walk in their shoes as Atticus Finch would have put it.

Take care

Thanks @swimmer97, I glad you got something out of it.

Thank you @Blondie for this piece and for this advice. I recognize this every day. The happier and self loving I am, the more women respect me and are attracted to me. Its like a vibe that women can smell and feel. Working on ourselfs and getting better is the ONLY way to achieve this. There is no magic pill. There is only a thing that guarantees to kill this self loving/self condifence aura and we call it P. keep killing

You're right, women can feel this vibe, it's the vibe of having bigger asperations than just chasing women. Porn makes us think that everything is just about pussy, I know that's crass but it's true. Ironically, the more you stop focusing on "cats" the more they start chasing you for a scratch. Meow!

Best brother.

Thanks @First_step_thousand_miles!

You really say the stuff that we're all thinking but are either afraid to say

Thanks brother, I'll remember those words when I'm in jail experiencing a new type of sex!

Porn really is wish fulfillment to the max, but none of it makes you better.

Yes, porn is without question, a gigantic clusterfuck of wish fulfillment.

It just makes you more and more hollow, and the race to fill that hole (no pun intended) only leads to it becoming even more hollow than ever.

This is true. Good pun! Yes, nothing like staring at your screen afterwards wondering what just happened? Damn, I hate that feeling.

We have to get away from that as fast as we can and move on to bigger & better things

Yes Sir we do.

Love you brother.

 

[Blondie]

Day 536

Almost there!

 

[Jlied]

Day 535


Thanks @Jlied.

Yes, the romance novels are something many people don't want to talk about, even though in my opinion, they're very similar to porn, just the women version of fantasyland. You hear all day long about how sexist porn is and how "No real woman could ever live up to that!" However, there's nowhere in polite society that would dare to critique how almost all female fantasy could be described in the exact same way. Imagine if a man said to a group of women "No real man could ever live up to that nonsense!" Ha! he would be laughed out of town, and told to man up and get his ass in gear. Thus, my spiel to the stripper about how almost no man gets respect these days. I said it because it's true.

Obviously, not all romance should be thrown under the bus though, the classics are gold and should be upheld. I mentioned Mr. Darcy because everyone knows what I'm talking about, but actually I have no problem with Pride and Prejudice, and in fact, it's one of my favorite books and movies to be honest. Am I walking contradiction? Perhaps, but I'm okay with that. There is more truth in that novel about the differences between the sexes than you'll read anywhere these days from "educated" minds. Sure, one could say that no man could ever be Mr. Darcy etc. and thus, it's just a "cleaner" version of modern day shit romance novels. And yes, I wouldn't deny the fantasy element there, but the difference is in the details and how Jane Austen goes about upfolding her classic story. The story is very much about being honorable, and staying true to your virtues (both men AND women), and that everyone, no matter how good intentioned they are, has their faults and must deal with the consequences of their actions. Furthermore, it should be stated that Mr. Wickham, the "hot" womanizing soldier, would be the main lead in a modern romance novel, while Elizabeth's dumb sister, Lydia, who runs off and hooks up with him, would be portrayed as a free liberated woman escaping the patriarchy of her evil father and equally judging sisters, who have also been tragically corrupted by the patriarchy.

But yes, it is all a fantasy and is categorically aimed at the female psyche, but I see no problem with that in general, as long as women understand that no man will ever be like that, especially the rich part. What is more, just as women should respect the masculine psyche (which is utterly different than theirs) we men should also try to understand and respect the female psyche, and what makes them tick inside. I can't think of a better book than this one to serve that very purpose. Women's sexuality and hypergamy (I use that term not in a negative sense) is in of itself, a beautiful thing, it's only when it is perverted, like in our own masculine perversions, that it becomes a bad thing. But yes, as for the rest, let it all burn alongside our porn!

Funny enough Jlied, while I wrote this, I was listening to the Pride and Prejudice score - one of my favorites! Here's is one of the comments under the video.

View attachment 1042

I stand corrected!

Here's some more comments from the female addicts in the same thread. My comments are in bold.

Good, keep them that way (concerning above) feel great about it and don’t let anyone tell you differently.

Yes men, keep looking at porn, feel great about, and don't let anyone tell you differently! You deserve 20 young twenty year old's!

Hold onto those expectations. Don’t settle. You’ll find your Mr. Darcy.

Yes men, hold on to those expectations. Don't settle for an old women, you'll find your young 20 year old hottie sooner than later.

I have been comparing everyone of them to Darcy

Yes men, keep comparing you shity wife to those hot twenty year old's. You deserve it girl!

We all wish to be Elizabeth, but i think deep down we know that most of us are in the 99%, we're Charlotte Lucas.

I love the truthfulness of this woman. She is basically saying, we all wish to be Leonardo DiCaprio, but deep down we know we are the 80%. Wow, she even said 99%. Fuck, I think I have a crush on this girl!

Having realistic expectations for them comes with disappointment too don't worry, just dream on and get some cats...and cat toys lol

Another realistic girl, just speaking her truth. Yes men, having realistic expectations for your ever so normal wife comes with innumerable disappointments, don't worry though, just get some sex dolls and a bigger TV screen for your Pornhub consumption lol

Honestly, if there are no more people like that left in the world, I'll find some way to go back in time.

Honestly, if there are no more tits in the world like I've seen in pornland, I'll just go back to my porn. Thank you very much.

right, you better hold up your end of the bargain. Mr Darcys don't settle for less either. Think of it as one of the reasons to strive for your own betterment

WTF?

The thing is: Mr Darcy's don't exist, at least not in this planet

Another woman with her head on straight. All single men, find this woman and marry her.

Well, I might have just been proven wrong. I still love Pride and Prejudice though, and I everything I said about it is true; however, these comments are insane. Was it the beginning of the end? I don't know, you tell me. Perhaps Pride and Prejudice is the equivalent of porn subs for us men. It's not porn per se, but we all know were it leads, right to Fifty Shades of Hypergamy.


That's a good one. I also like this one "Men fall in love with their eyes, women with their ears"

I agree with the white lie part, especially in the modern sense where it has literally become nothing but a game. However, it always has been a game to some extent, even in more innocent times. Even animals do this in showcasing their beautiful feathers etc., this is only natural and how it should be. This is all a part of the eternal dance that I hope will never end, but only become more pure and authentic again.

Truth.

I hope I'm not being misunderstood here. I don't think we should ever be hiding anything from our partners. I don't think porn is a sin per se, at least not in a religious sense; however, since I do think Porn is Not an Option, it practically is a commandant from God as far as I'm concerned, so maybe I do agree with you more than you or I even think I do.

100% agree.

Thanks for your comment, that was great to talk.

man, as per usual, your detail and thought process is top notch, I envy your thinking process. One thing that strikes me most in the comment section you shared is just how one sided women (not all, maybe not even most) can be with this thinking. I’ve heard it said women are the only people who get to decide their worth and what they deserve. Imagine if a man said that women should do this or get him that because he’s worth it, that’s his worth with nothing to substantiate that worth. He would be called a pig, chauvinistic, perhaps even mysoginist…….I don’t want to go into some tirade that could be interpreted as a battle if the sexes, I’m just trying to say men are generally always at the fault of any bad feelings a woman may have, however they rarely if ever stop to check their attitudes on life and men. As people in genera we would be much better served if we took a step back and thought about the things we expect of other people. Would we be put off if the same thoughts were applied to us? Would we be so willing to go along with those thoughts? If the answer is no then perhaps one would need to temper their ego and expectations until their demands of others were in alignment for the demands of themselves.

I hope I'm not being misunderstood here. I don't think we should ever be hiding anything from our partners. I don't think porn is a sin per se, at least not in a religious sense; however, since I do think Porn is Not an Option, it practically is a commandant from God as far as I'm concerned, so maybe I do agree with you more than you or I even think I do.

What I meant here is basically if you have to hide it because your partner wouldn’t approve or would be hurt you aren’t honoring your relationship, you are being selfish, and that is generally a recipe for heartache on either side of the isle. I think in general we are in agreement on just about everything, I’m not sure I’ve ever taken exception with any of your comments, and least not on any of the things I’ve read.

I agree with the white lie part, especially in the modern sense where it has literally become nothing but a game. However, it always has been a game to some extent, even in more innocent times. Even animals do this in showcasing their beautiful feathers etc., this is only natural and how it should be. This is all a part of the eternal dance that I hope will never end, but only become more pure and authentic again.

Agree, there is nothing wrong with the ritualistic dance of courtship, it is 100% natural to want to attract the most attractive person you can, I just think lying in order to secure them is where the dance gets skewed a bit is all.

I enjoy the conversation, your points of view and thinking on the matter is thought provoking and requires thought on a proposer response, thank you for that.

I may have to read the book now……or at some point in my life!

 

[Blondie]

Great comment @Jlied.

One thing that strikes me most in the comment section you shared is just how one sided women (not all, maybe not even most) can be with this thinking.

Yes, there are definitely some women out there that seem to do this, especially nowadays, and without question in that comment section. Although, reading that nonsense is funny on one hand, it's also terribly not funny as well, because it can be so damaging to women and any semblance of happiness they might have with just an average joe, not to mention the damage it can cause men. I guess if we think of it as just another unmentioned addiction in this crazy society we live in, that would explain it to some extent, and we can give a little grace to these women who have bought in to it, hook, line and sinker.

I’ve heard it said women are the only people who get to decide their worth and what they deserve.

Yeah, this is somewhat true, but I think it's only because of the propaganda being unleashed upon them. So much of the current trend of feminism is of the worst kind, where it doesn't seek true equality (something I'm for), but revenge and a war between the sexes. Thus, because it's utterly obvious that in the dating and sexual marketplace, the opposite sex is the TRUE arbiter of value and what is attractive or not (for both men and women), the cultural subverters chose to say what men value is sexist, and any value they hold for the opposite sex must be wrong and "oppressive". Thus, whatever you and I value for a mate is wrong and sexist, and what women value for a mate, is encouraged and praised, even if it will destroy both of us in the end. "You go girl!" as the mob shouts these days.

Thus, if a man has a list of values such as this on a dating site, he would get pulverized for being the "worst of men"

I want a women with long feminine hair (Many men like this)
I want a women who is in shape and eats healthy (not being fat is a good thing, though no one should be shamed)
I want a women without previous children from another man (Why get involved in extra drama?)
I want her to be feminine in nature and encouraging in my mission in life (most men want this, not because we're weak and want to dominate a woman, but because it's beautiful and different than us, and sexy)
I want her to be good with her money and not like many modern women (including men) who are utterly terrible at this
I will expect sex at least once a week, besides, the realities of life getting in the way
Furthermore, sex will not be used as a weapon to control or manipulate me. I do not want a child in a relationship
I want her to know how to cook and wish to cook. Not because (she belongs in the kitchen!) but because cooking represents nurturing and loving, something that is the essence of being feminine.


Obviously, a list like this is completely rational and reasonable to most men, and what is more, almost any woman could potentially live up to this theoretically. However, this list is considered completely sexist because it demands standards from women, and even worse, at its core, it represents what many men value, thus, its a grave sin (this isn't necessarily my list by the way).

However if an average looking women, with an average personality, with a son from another man, would write a list such as the list below on a dating site, no one would have a problem with it. In fact, she would be told from our culture, "You go girl! Don't settle for average!"

I want a man who is 6'4" (1.1 % of men are in this category)
He must be handsome (top 25%)
I want a muscular man to protect me (top 20-10% of men)
I want a man who makes at the very least a 100k a year (only 18% of Americans make over 100k a year, and that includes women)
I prefer a man who will lavish me with expensive trips twice a year because I'm a queen and deserve it (Sorry to break this to you, but monarchies don't exist anymore)
I want a charming man like Mr. Darcy to match my charm and wit! (again, see above, and your charm and wit are highly doubtful!)
He will love my child as his own, and if he has a problem with that, I'll kick him out! (why should a man have to put up with your past, especially when another man's child is involved? Now there's nothing wrong with being the father of someone's else child (no not at all!) but why the attitude? And why should a man HAVE to do this in order to be considered a "good man"?) If such a man could marry a woman who does not have this extra baggage, why can't you see that that would probably be a better choice for him? So drop the righteous attitude, and admit that you are just an average woman and that you might need to lower your perceived value a little . Welcome to the club, we men know how you feel!
He will love me for who I am, and not judge my past, and will treat me as the queen that I am. (Again, why should he? You've just literally judged 80-90% of all men, and you're utterly average; both in looks, personality, and social status. So let me get this right, you can judge men, but us men can't judge you? And your only argument when we do, is to shame us and call us names?)


Obviously, I'm having fun here, and don't get me wrong, many women DON'T do this, however, some of them do, and they are living in an utter fantasyland, just as much as porn is to us men. Ironically enough, the "sexist" list I made for the man above, almost ALL women could live up to, if they so desired to be that for a man. However, almost NO man could live up to the standards given by that woman, and that is the truth of the matter. And if anyone thinks I'm bullshitting about all of this, just go read some dating profiles for entertainment and get back to me.

What is attractive to the opposite sex, will always be defined by the opposite sex. Women don't like this, and quite a few men don't like it either, but that's the facts, no matter the cultural zeitgeist we currently live in. What one does with this information is up to them.

Women should judge men, because they are literally deciding who will be the father of their baby. However, men should judge women just as ruthlessly, and woe to man who thinks every women, or womanly desire, is more innocent or "pure" than his own masculine desires. Relationships are an agglomeration of the masculine and feminine essences, and the couples that appreciate these differences seem to find the best harmony, the yin and yang if you will.

In the end, we're all just human, which means, we're all pretty fucked up. So no, I don't think this can be blamed on women, though it could in some circumstances. However, it could also be blamed on us men, who are so desperate for sex and companionship, that we'll give it all up for any woman who says yes to us, no matter how crazy she is or badly behaved. It goes without saying, porn in no way can help is in dealing with these realities. Nevertheless, most women are just as confused as we are, and are just trying to figure it all out, while living in this culture that seems to deny reality. The blame game won't get us out of this mess, not that you were implying that Jlied! I'm just saying.

Best brother.

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Day 535


Thanks @Jlied.

Yes, the romance novels are something many people don't want to talk about, even though in my opinion, they're very similar to porn, just the women version of fantasyland. You hear all day long about how sexist porn is and how "No real woman could ever live up to that!" However, there's nowhere in polite society that would dare to critique how almost all female fantasy could be described in the exact same way. Imagine if a man said to a group of women "No real man could ever live up to that nonsense!" Ha! he would be laughed out of town, and told to man up and get his ass in gear. Thus, my spiel to the stripper about how almost no man gets respect these days. I said it because it's true.

Obviously, not all romance should be thrown under the bus though, the classics are gold and should be upheld. I mentioned Mr. Darcy because everyone knows what I'm talking about, but actually I have no problem with Pride and Prejudice, and in fact, it's one of my favorite books and movies to be honest. Am I walking contradiction? Perhaps, but I'm okay with that. There is more truth in that novel about the differences between the sexes than you'll read anywhere these days from "educated" minds. Sure, one could say that no man could ever be Mr. Darcy etc. and thus, it's just a "cleaner" version of modern day shit romance novels. And yes, I wouldn't deny the fantasy element there, but the difference is in the details and how Jane Austen goes about upfolding her classic story. The story is very much about being honorable, and staying true to your virtues (both men AND women), and that everyone, no matter how good intentioned they are, has their faults and must deal with the consequences of their actions. Furthermore, it should be stated that Mr. Wickham, the "hot" womanizing soldier, would be the main lead in a modern romance novel, while Elizabeth's dumb sister, Lydia, who runs off and hooks up with him, would be portrayed as a free liberated woman escaping the patriarchy of her evil father and equally judging sisters, who have also been tragically corrupted by the patriarchy.

But yes, it is all a fantasy and is categorically aimed at the female psyche, but I see no problem with that in general, as long as women understand that no man will ever be like that, especially the rich part. What is more, just as women should respect the masculine psyche (which is utterly different than theirs) we men should also try to understand and respect the female psyche, and what makes them tick inside. I can't think of a better book than this one to serve that very purpose. Women's sexuality and hypergamy (I use that term not in a negative sense) is in of itself, a beautiful thing, it's only when it is perverted, like in our own masculine perversions, that it becomes a bad thing. But yes, as for the rest, let it all burn alongside our porn!

Funny enough Jlied, while I wrote this, I was listening to the Pride and Prejudice score - one of my favorites! Here's is one of the comments under the video.

View attachment 1042

I stand corrected!

Here's some more comments from the female addicts in the same thread. My comments are in bold.

Good, keep them that way (concerning above) feel great about it and don’t let anyone tell you differently.

Yes men, keep looking at porn, feel great about, and don't let anyone tell you differently! You deserve 20 young twenty year old's!

Hold onto those expectations. Don’t settle. You’ll find your Mr. Darcy.

Yes men, hold on to those expectations. Don't settle for an old women, you'll find your young 20 year old hottie sooner than later.

I have been comparing everyone of them to Darcy

Yes men, keep comparing you shity wife to those hot twenty year old's. You deserve it girl!

We all wish to be Elizabeth, but i think deep down we know that most of us are in the 99%, we're Charlotte Lucas.

I love the truthfulness of this woman. She is basically saying, we all wish to be Leonardo DiCaprio, but deep down we know we are the 80%. Wow, she even said 99%. Fuck, I think I have a crush on this girl!

Having realistic expectations for them comes with disappointment too don't worry, just dream on and get some cats...and cat toys lol

Another realistic girl, just speaking her truth. Yes men, having realistic expectations for your ever so normal wife comes with innumerable disappointments, don't worry though, just get some sex dolls and a bigger TV screen for your Pornhub consumption lol

Honestly, if there are no more people like that left in the world, I'll find some way to go back in time.

Honestly, if there are no more tits in the world like I've seen in pornland, I'll just go back to my porn. Thank you very much.

right, you better hold up your end of the bargain. Mr Darcys don't settle for less either. Think of it as one of the reasons to strive for your own betterment

WTF?

The thing is: Mr Darcy's don't exist, at least not in this planet

Another woman with her head on straight. All single men, find this woman and marry her.

Well, I might have just been proven wrong. I still love Pride and Prejudice though, and I everything I said about it is true; however, these comments are insane. Was it the beginning of the end? I don't know, you tell me. Perhaps Pride and Prejudice is the equivalent of porn subs for us men. It's not porn per se, but we all know were it leads, right to Fifty Shades of Hypergamy.


That's a good one. I also like this one "Men fall in love with their eyes, women with their ears"

I agree with the white lie part, especially in the modern sense where it has literally become nothing but a game. However, it always has been a game to some extent, even in more innocent times. Even animals do this in showcasing their beautiful feathers etc., this is only natural and how it should be. This is all a part of the eternal dance that I hope will never end, but only become more pure and authentic again.

Truth.

I hope I'm not being misunderstood here. I don't think we should ever be hiding anything from our partners. I don't think porn is a sin per se, at least not in a religious sense; however, since I do think Porn is Not an Option, it practically is a commandant from God as far as I'm concerned, so maybe I do agree with you more than you or I even think I do.

100% agree.

Thanks for your comment, that was great to talk.

Too many good things in your recent posts but I'll just comment on one -- funny how Elizabeth was the ideal women back then (maybe Jane?) and nature would dictate that it would be the same now. Yet modern feminism would no doubt revile Jane & Elizabeth and would celebrate Lydia. Very odd given Lydia's ending is almost certainly not happy

No need to get political or whatever here but just a very odd contradiction. I think part of the reason men turn to porn (besides just getting addicted to it when you're neural pathways are developing in adolescence) is just how it feels like there's no judgment / expectations / etc. In the modern world there are so many and they're all so inconsistent if you take a moment to think. Kind of crazy

 

[Jlied]

Too many good things in your recent posts but I'll just comment on one -- funny how Elizabeth was the ideal women back then (maybe Jane?) and nature would dictate that it would be the same now. Yet modern feminism would no doubt revile Jane & Elizabeth and would celebrate Lydia. Very odd given Lydia's ending is almost certainly not happy

No need to get political or whatever here but just a very odd contradiction. I think part of the reason men turn to porn (besides just getting addicted to it when you're neural pathways are developing in adolescence) is just how it feels like there's no judgment / expectations / etc. In the modern world there are so many and they're all so inconsistent if you take a moment to think. Kind of crazy

Word!!

 

[Blondie]

Thanks @First_step_thousand_miles.

funny how Elizabeth was the ideal women back then (maybe Jane?) and nature would dictate that it would be the same now. Yet modern feminism would no doubt revile Jane & Elizabeth and would celebrate Lydia. Very odd given Lydia's ending is almost certainly not happy

Yes, I doubt Lydia's ending is very good as well, that soldier was an epic douche to be sure.

As far as the ideal woman back then who knows? Maybe Jane, or maybe I'm just partial to the actress in the 2005 movie. Angelic is the only adjective that comes to mind to even try to describe her feminine beauty. However, I would prefer Elizabeth's character more though, but that's just a personal taste, and Kiera Knightly is also easy on the eyes. She's feisty yet feminine, and I'm smiling just thinking about it. Another thing too that should be mentioned, is the men in both the book and the movie. Of course, we all know they're rich and aristocrats blah blah blah, however, the they too don't fit in the with the modern world. So many today just want to have fun and hook up, but these rich assholes will have none of that nonsense. There's a saying that goes around that women control access to sex, and men control relationships, I couldn't agree more. Imagine if all men in the world just said fuck all this shit we're not committing to you ladies unless you wish to date only to get married. The world would change instantly. Yes men, you have that power, if only you would realize it. Just imagine all the women who would be pissed off by strong men, all the bars would be closed, all the Instagram whores would lose their followers, online porn would crumble to ashes, and the modern world would be in shambles, all because men grabbed their balls instead of their dicks and said in one unified voice, "Fuck this shit sideways!"

I think part of the reason men turn to porn (besides just getting addicted to it when you're neural pathways are developing in adolescence) is just how it feels like there's no judgment / expectations / etc. In the modern world there are so many and they're all so inconsistent if you take a moment to think. Kind of crazy

I think this is a great point. In modern society, there's no defined point that we're all heading to, it's just each man for himself, with no sense of purpose. Sure, we can create our own, but that just means we're one out of millions of different individuals, each trying to find his own light and homestead on the dark side of the moon. But is this all we can really hope for? These days, men don't know what to do with themselves anymore, and ironically, women know, but only because they're told what to do (but not by men), but they too don't seem very happy with all the drugs and anti-depressants they're taking, so yeah, we're all gutter dwellers looking for porn or the next TV show to pass our time before we take our last and final breath.

We can keep telling ourselves how much we've "progressed" with our technology etc., but I wonder if we're actually any happier than the poor peasant who lived in the middle ages, who knew exactly what his purpose was in this world (work, get married, have kids, die) and believed in the transcendent beyond just what his mere eyes could fathom. I've never been an atheist, however, I'm not partial to any one religion either, but there does seem to be a great disconnect these days from anything beyond just consuming, fucking, and eventually dying.

Thanks First step

Keep killing it brother.

 

[Jlied]

Kiera Knightly

one of my favorites.

 

[Blondie]

Day 538

one of my favorites.

Indeed @Jlied, she's a cutie.

However, I've always thought she looks as if she could be my sister, so obviously not an option!

You all have a great porn-free Sunday.

 

[GBS]

Controversial, I know, but just for the record….I can’t stand Kiera Knightly.

 

[Blondie]

Day 539

Controversial, I know, but just for the record….I can’t stand Kiera Knightly.

This is funny. I actually would agree with you @GBS , she's a very subpar actress, but in that one role, I've always liked her.

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Day 538

Indeed @Jlied, she's a cutie.

However, I've always thought she looks as if she could be my sister, so obviously not an option!

You all have a great porn-free Sunday.

Her accent I think definitely accentuates the way people think about her. Those darn Brits sound sophisticated without even trying

 

[Jlied]

Her accent I think definitely accentuates the way people think about her. Those darn Brits sound sophisticated without even trying

For me, when I first saw pirates of the Caribbean, her.....her jaw line, her lips......she seemed so graceful.

 

[Blondie]

Day 540!

Well I made it, a full year and a half of no porn.

Words can't describe how I feel at the moment. I have a very busy morning today so I'll keep this short for now, but maybe I'll write later on in the afternoon.

You all have a great porn-free Tuesday.

 

[GBS]

Totally awesome. Math check: 365 + 182 = 547. Hmmm……..

 

[Jlied]

Day 540!

Well I made it, a full year and a half of no porn.

Words can't describe how I feel at the moment. I have a very busy morning today so I'll keep this short for now, but maybe I'll write later on in the afternoon.

You all have a great porn-free Tuesday.

Excellent news!, Don't listen to @GBS, haters are gonna hate