Porn is not an option
- Thread starter Blondie
- Start date
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
My man! Crossed 550, hell yeah! Keep it up brother
Blondie
Respected Member
Day 552
Thanks gents, @AJ7, @First_step_thousand_miles and @Ezel, I appreciate it.
One day at a time!
You all have a great porn-free Sunday
Thanks gents, @AJ7, @First_step_thousand_miles and @Ezel, I appreciate it.
One day at a time!
You all have a great porn-free Sunday
Blondie
Respected Member
Considering the current state affairs with my dick and its newfound ease of getting off like a virgin that's never seen porn or a woman before, I've been thinking over this question the last few days, who here was a chronic edger when masturbating?
I know for myself, that was my main forte, I would go for hours on end before getting off to that "perfect picture". Thus, I carried this over into the bedroom, where I could go forever as well during sex. At least for myself, I think that extreme edging really did a number on the man downstairs. I can't think of even one time during my whole career (
) where a session lasted only ten minutes.
That's embarrassing as fuck to admit, but that's the truth of the matter.
What do you guys think?
I know for myself, that was my main forte, I would go for hours on end before getting off to that "perfect picture". Thus, I carried this over into the bedroom, where I could go forever as well during sex. At least for myself, I think that extreme edging really did a number on the man downstairs. I can't think of even one time during my whole career (
) where a session lasted only ten minutes.That's embarrassing as fuck to admit, but that's the truth of the matter.
What do you guys think?
TryingHarder
Well-Known Member
I have read different things about edging. Some say that it's beneficial and lets men build up stamina and staying power. Others say that it's harmful, since being hard for hours isn't realistic. I'm still in flatline, so the few times I have MO'ed over the past month have been disappointing. Difficult for me to get an erection, and then PE when I finally get (semi) hard. It's an awful state of affairs.
Daybyday1988
Active Member
Considering the current state affairs with my dick and its newfound ease of getting off like a virgin that's never seen porn or a woman before, I've been thinking over this question the last few days, who here was a chronic edger when masturbating?
I know for myself, that was my main forte, I would go for hours on end before getting off to that "perfect picture". Thus, I carried this over into the bedroom, where I could go forever as well during sex. At least for myself, I think that extreme edging really did a number on the man downstairs. I can't think of even one time during my whole career (
That's embarrassing as fuck to admit, but that's the truth of the matter.
What do you guys think?
I was an edger too, usually for over a hour I would be looking at P before getting off. Alot of us I suspect were because we can keep dopamine high for a long time and get more of a narcotic like effect VS just racing right into orgasm which probably would have Been healthier for our brains, at least less damaging than edging.
It's nice to hear that you are more sensitive now, even back to normal. I have like zero sensitivity down there from almost a decade and a half of abusing it so I know what you mean. One time a beautiful woman was using her mouth on me and i couldnt even feel it.
At one point when i was promiscuous ad still able to keep an erection, I could go a really long time because I just didn't have the physical sensation to get off That easily.
I remember one girl being kind of uncomfortable and awkward about it (also the fact that I was so performance based with sex) she said "you just went into like porn star mode or something", definitely an odd experience.
GBS
Respected Member
On this edging debate. I honestly didn’t do it because I had no avenue for extensive porn watching so it was always relatively swift. There were occasions when I could stretch it out for half an hour. I have no experiment results to say whether my sexual performance was better as a result or not. Intuition says not. I had some PE issues but not horrific. What I was though, was a death grip masturbater - I have a feeling I did some damage to my fellah over the years and that through now hardly masturbating at all the damage is being repaired. Having good sex in a non porn era will be totally new for me. I think I have just rambled and not given you an answer. Sorry mate.
Blondie
Respected Member
Day 553
Best brother
Thanks man!
Best brother.
Maybe this is all like the cheating debate, just don't do it and you don't have to worry about it.
Thank you gents for chiming in. It's always a pleasure.
Hey @TryingHarder, thanks for chiming in. Yes, I've heard both as well, which is always frustrating. I would have to believe since it's NOT normal to be that way, then it has to be harmful, even if not using the death grip, which I use to do as well.
This WILL get better, it just takes time. You just have to wait it out, one day at a time.I'm still in flatline, so the few times I have MO'ed over the past month have been disappointing. Difficult for me to get an erection, and then PE when I finally get (semi) hard. It's an awful state of affairs.
Best brother
Hey @Daybyday1988. Yes, this edging with porn was crack to me, I still have not found anything that has ever given me such a high as that. On the other hand, I use to get depressed thinking about this fact (say not even a year ago), whereas just thinking about that right now, it doesn't depress me at all. Sometimes you don't realize the small improvements until you think about it. I'm really excited about this!
Yeah, same, my beautiful girlfriend and few others, it's like you're wearing a condom 24/7, a truly crazy experience when you stop to think about it. But yes, I'm tickled as could be that my sensation down there has returned in full force.
Yes I still think I'm caught up in this kind of thinking unfortunately. It really is NOT about the performance, however, I've been feeling slightly bad that I haven't been able to get her off as much as I use to because I'm so sensitive down there these days. But these are all good problems and can be figured out. Porn is not an option.
Thanks man!
Thanks @logicprox. Yeah who knows exactly what is worse, edging or just edging to porn, but when you don't do either, it doesn't really fucking matter does it?
Best brother.
Hey @GBS. This is interesting.
I was too, and it's NOT cool that's for sure.
Maybe this is all like the cheating debate, just don't do it and you don't have to worry about it.
Thank you gents for chiming in. It's always a pleasure.
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Blondie
Respected Member
The Importance Of Having a Value System
Just a heads up, I am in no way condemning anyone's religion or value system. These are just the honest thoughts from a man on the internet.
Although I had looked at porn on and off since I was thirteen years old, it was in my late twenties when I really started to get addicted to it. Up until that point I had been a very conservative Christian with very strong views on abstaining from sex before marriage etc. I had even gone through two long-term relationships throughout my twenties without having sex, thus, still a virgin at thirty. Thus, these "morals" kept me back from completely diving headfirst into my porn use, because I always thought it was wrong and a sin. However, as I slowly lost faith in the Bible, I eventually tossed out all of those values that seemed "out of date" and moved on to "better" and more "enlightened" ones. Coincidentally at this same time, high-speed internet become mainstream in my neck of the woods, and from there on out I was hooked and never spent a moment's thought thinking it was wrong or a sin in anyway. The pursuit of happiness was my motto and Libertarianism my political philosophy.
What is more, at this time I become very narcissistic and began to question anything or any value that I use to hold dear. I often thought thoughts such as, is it even wrong to cheat on a partner? Who's to say this is wrong if there is no higher authority? Thus, I was a man adrift on a sea of differing and conflicting views of the world and morality in general. I mistakenly thought that if Christianity said something was wrong, the opposite must be the answer. Thus, like a wayward son who runs away from his father and vows to never be his old man, and to live his life doing everything opposite of what his father would have done, I did the same "running away" from Christianity. Ironically, just as the wayward son in regards to his father's values, the "old man" upstairs was still in charge of my as well. I saw the world in black and white and a value system outside of Christianity I knew not. Thus, I was a non-card carrying Satanist, living in the duality of the same worldview of my childhood. An intellectual lightweight if there ever was one.
To add to all this confusion and "happiness" there was and is my own personality, which one might rightly call a disposition to naturally deconstruct the world around me. Thus, there is nothing sacred to me that I will not question and dismantle, no matter if it brings tears to those around me or even myself. The search for Truth was and always has been my religion and my sacred duty to the world. Why, is the sacred chant in my holy temple. However, this natural disposition of mine has created many existential crises in my life, because, just when I might have been on the cusp of finally believing in something again, be it a religion or political philosophy, all of a sudden, I would find a new piece of "vital" information, and the walls of an "absolute truth" would come crumbling down around me, leaving me once again in mental shambles of my own making. Thus, it was time for a drink and another round of pocket pool, because who's to say I'm fucking wrong? I would be lying if I didn't admit I envy those who seem to believe whatever they "believe" in, and just seem to go about their lives so sure of it. Who are these people? And can I have what they're taking? Be it Leftists, Christians, the religion of "Democracy", Hindus, or Atheists, I am a man who walks among them, but I am not a part of their tribe, nor their absolute values.
It goes without saying, many of my problems with quitting porn come from this harsh reality. If porn isn't really a bad thing or a "sin" per se, how does one convince himself to quit once and for all, especially when his addicted mind will use that against him when he's feeling down or blue? Many of my relapses have been right after I've spent months reading about Catholicism, Protestantism, Hinduism etc., and then, just when I was about to "believe" I discovered it was all shit, or at least 20% shit, thus, another round of Nietzsche and Pornhub for good measure. Drinks are on me everyone!
I am man searching for the absolute, in a world full of relativity. "Feelings" and "experiences", and my favorite of all time, someone's "personal truth" are the beginnings of the end for me, the Alpha and the Omega. I don't have a problem with god per se, I have a problem with The God, and everyone's experiences that supposedly "prove" it.
However, one day about five years ago, I came upon something that blew my mind, and it was so simple in its simplicity I had to try it. It was the philosophy called Porn is not an Option. Now there was a "commandment" I could believe in. Not in some abstract way that could never be proven, but by cold hard facts and realities that I had experienced all too well in my own life.
At that time I was struggling with many things...
I was working a job I hated
I was pissed at life and despised my childhood which I daily tried to forget
I wanted to go back to school but I was in debt and had no faith in a good future for myself
I needed to study to get back into school because I had no past education to lean on
My mind was daily controlled by lust and often thought about cheating on my girlfriend
How could I focus when everything I saw was pussy and ass?
All of these things and more I knew would end if only I stopped looking at porn. Thus, five years ago I decided to believe in something "higher" than myself, and to aim for something higher than the gutter of a worthless pleasurable existence. At that time I couldn't prove to anyone else that porn shouldn't be an option, but I knew for myself that I had found an "absolute", a commandant that had come down from my own Mt. Sinai. And although it's true I've thrown down those tablets (tablet?) a few times over the course of these last five years, each time afterwards I've gone back up the holy mountain to inscribe them once again on my heart. What is more, with each passing time, they've become deeper and deeper etched into my soul.
I'm not a religious man, nor do I care to argue which one religion is the one "truth", no, these things do not concern me. What I do know is that in the heart of man lies a need for an absolute, a something to believe in and fight for. Look at the world today, even at the "non-religious" and you will find people "fighting" for their political beliefs, their "secular" religion, just as vehemently as a "dumb" peasant would in medieval Europe. We are told daily the world is increasingly becoming less and less religious, but I would argue, we've never been more so. Man needs religion like he needs bread. Those who argue the most for separation of church and state are being disingenuous. It is NOT separation that they desire, but their OWN religion and values in its stead. Be it leftism, Communism or Capitalism and the "pursuit of happiness", man needs something to believe in. Thus, I have learned in my battle over porn, I MUST treat it as an absolute, a holy war if you will. Not The Holy War, but a holy war all the same, just as important and just as life threatening.
Porn is not an option.
Do you believe it?
Just a heads up, I am in no way condemning anyone's religion or value system. These are just the honest thoughts from a man on the internet.
Although I had looked at porn on and off since I was thirteen years old, it was in my late twenties when I really started to get addicted to it. Up until that point I had been a very conservative Christian with very strong views on abstaining from sex before marriage etc. I had even gone through two long-term relationships throughout my twenties without having sex, thus, still a virgin at thirty. Thus, these "morals" kept me back from completely diving headfirst into my porn use, because I always thought it was wrong and a sin. However, as I slowly lost faith in the Bible, I eventually tossed out all of those values that seemed "out of date" and moved on to "better" and more "enlightened" ones. Coincidentally at this same time, high-speed internet become mainstream in my neck of the woods, and from there on out I was hooked and never spent a moment's thought thinking it was wrong or a sin in anyway. The pursuit of happiness was my motto and Libertarianism my political philosophy.
What is more, at this time I become very narcissistic and began to question anything or any value that I use to hold dear. I often thought thoughts such as, is it even wrong to cheat on a partner? Who's to say this is wrong if there is no higher authority? Thus, I was a man adrift on a sea of differing and conflicting views of the world and morality in general. I mistakenly thought that if Christianity said something was wrong, the opposite must be the answer. Thus, like a wayward son who runs away from his father and vows to never be his old man, and to live his life doing everything opposite of what his father would have done, I did the same "running away" from Christianity. Ironically, just as the wayward son in regards to his father's values, the "old man" upstairs was still in charge of my as well. I saw the world in black and white and a value system outside of Christianity I knew not. Thus, I was a non-card carrying Satanist, living in the duality of the same worldview of my childhood. An intellectual lightweight if there ever was one.
To add to all this confusion and "happiness" there was and is my own personality, which one might rightly call a disposition to naturally deconstruct the world around me. Thus, there is nothing sacred to me that I will not question and dismantle, no matter if it brings tears to those around me or even myself. The search for Truth was and always has been my religion and my sacred duty to the world. Why, is the sacred chant in my holy temple. However, this natural disposition of mine has created many existential crises in my life, because, just when I might have been on the cusp of finally believing in something again, be it a religion or political philosophy, all of a sudden, I would find a new piece of "vital" information, and the walls of an "absolute truth" would come crumbling down around me, leaving me once again in mental shambles of my own making. Thus, it was time for a drink and another round of pocket pool, because who's to say I'm fucking wrong? I would be lying if I didn't admit I envy those who seem to believe whatever they "believe" in, and just seem to go about their lives so sure of it. Who are these people? And can I have what they're taking? Be it Leftists, Christians, the religion of "Democracy", Hindus, or Atheists, I am a man who walks among them, but I am not a part of their tribe, nor their absolute values.
It goes without saying, many of my problems with quitting porn come from this harsh reality. If porn isn't really a bad thing or a "sin" per se, how does one convince himself to quit once and for all, especially when his addicted mind will use that against him when he's feeling down or blue? Many of my relapses have been right after I've spent months reading about Catholicism, Protestantism, Hinduism etc., and then, just when I was about to "believe" I discovered it was all shit, or at least 20% shit, thus, another round of Nietzsche and Pornhub for good measure. Drinks are on me everyone!
I am man searching for the absolute, in a world full of relativity. "Feelings" and "experiences", and my favorite of all time, someone's "personal truth" are the beginnings of the end for me, the Alpha and the Omega. I don't have a problem with god per se, I have a problem with The God, and everyone's experiences that supposedly "prove" it.
However, one day about five years ago, I came upon something that blew my mind, and it was so simple in its simplicity I had to try it. It was the philosophy called Porn is not an Option. Now there was a "commandment" I could believe in. Not in some abstract way that could never be proven, but by cold hard facts and realities that I had experienced all too well in my own life.
At that time I was struggling with many things...
I was working a job I hated
I was pissed at life and despised my childhood which I daily tried to forget
I wanted to go back to school but I was in debt and had no faith in a good future for myself
I needed to study to get back into school because I had no past education to lean on
My mind was daily controlled by lust and often thought about cheating on my girlfriend
How could I focus when everything I saw was pussy and ass?
All of these things and more I knew would end if only I stopped looking at porn. Thus, five years ago I decided to believe in something "higher" than myself, and to aim for something higher than the gutter of a worthless pleasurable existence. At that time I couldn't prove to anyone else that porn shouldn't be an option, but I knew for myself that I had found an "absolute", a commandant that had come down from my own Mt. Sinai. And although it's true I've thrown down those tablets (tablet?) a few times over the course of these last five years, each time afterwards I've gone back up the holy mountain to inscribe them once again on my heart. What is more, with each passing time, they've become deeper and deeper etched into my soul.
I'm not a religious man, nor do I care to argue which one religion is the one "truth", no, these things do not concern me. What I do know is that in the heart of man lies a need for an absolute, a something to believe in and fight for. Look at the world today, even at the "non-religious" and you will find people "fighting" for their political beliefs, their "secular" religion, just as vehemently as a "dumb" peasant would in medieval Europe. We are told daily the world is increasingly becoming less and less religious, but I would argue, we've never been more so. Man needs religion like he needs bread. Those who argue the most for separation of church and state are being disingenuous. It is NOT separation that they desire, but their OWN religion and values in its stead. Be it leftism, Communism or Capitalism and the "pursuit of happiness", man needs something to believe in. Thus, I have learned in my battle over porn, I MUST treat it as an absolute, a holy war if you will. Not The Holy War, but a holy war all the same, just as important and just as life threatening.
Porn is not an option.
Do you believe it?
Last edited:
GBS
Respected Member
Wow…another top drawer essay, mate. I am digesting it. It deserves a paragraph response which time won’t permit right now.
I will say this though: I think those of us giving up porn need religion big time. I won’t spout off and say come with me brothers. I do believe in God, and I am thankful that I do. It puts my struggle in perspective and gives me some order to my thoughts. The SAA (sex addicts anon) mantra is that you can’t do this without accession to a higher power. It’s central to recovery but it scares the living crap out of some people because they say “hey, I’m an atheist, so where do I go?” and frankly they have a point. Where do they go? They/we need a value system and a place from whence it came that isn’t just a pocket of our brains. It does come from within of course, but it’s too claustrophobic in there. We need to sense it comes from somewhere else. The higher power is within us and without us.
Hey, I wrote a paragraph. Thanks again @Blondie . The book needs writing……so WRITE IT. You are so ready.
I will say this though: I think those of us giving up porn need religion big time. I won’t spout off and say come with me brothers. I do believe in God, and I am thankful that I do. It puts my struggle in perspective and gives me some order to my thoughts. The SAA (sex addicts anon) mantra is that you can’t do this without accession to a higher power. It’s central to recovery but it scares the living crap out of some people because they say “hey, I’m an atheist, so where do I go?” and frankly they have a point. Where do they go? They/we need a value system and a place from whence it came that isn’t just a pocket of our brains. It does come from within of course, but it’s too claustrophobic in there. We need to sense it comes from somewhere else. The higher power is within us and without us.
Hey, I wrote a paragraph. Thanks again @Blondie . The book needs writing……so WRITE IT. You are so ready.
Daybyday1988
Active Member
There is so much I would like to say, friend. Much of what you write I agree with and totally understand. Much of it is heartbreaking and deserves its own essay in response which I am more than happy to write if you were so inclined. But for now all I'll say is that i/we are here for you till the bitter end bro. Thanks for all you do here, you're an inspiration to us all
Blondie
Respected Member
Day 554
Thanks gents @GBS and @Daybyday1988, I'm glad you liked it.
I have a busy day today but maybe I'll respond later.
Thanks gents @GBS and @Daybyday1988, I'm glad you liked it.
I have a busy day today but maybe I'll respond later.
EarthWalker
Respected Member
Glad to see you keeping on keeping on. Stay awesome man. 555 ftw!
Blondie
Respected Member
swimmer97
Active Member
Hell yes i believe it. I came to the same conclusion. Thank you for sharing some of your background brother. Always love when people reflect well on their past and develop their own values based on their life experiences. Love your porn is not an option faith. Your a good one mate.
Keep Blondieing it
Blondie
Respected Member
Day 556
Thanks @swimmer97! I do what I can do.
Keep killing it!
Thanks @swimmer97! I do what I can do.
I think it's good for everyone to figure out what they believe in (either their religion or values) and stick to it. Doing that really does help on this journey.
Keep killing it!