Blondie
Respected Member
Day 597!
Thank you @First_step_thousand_miles for that great comment. I think the gist of it is in general, we have no control of what or where this technology is going or taking us, but we do have control of when and how we use it, and that's key.
Well today I got on the scale and it was sad sight to see. I'm about ten lbs. more than I should be and I'm not happy about that at all. Two or three months ago, I remember telling everyone here I was going to lose pounds and try to get around 15% body fat, well, I did the exact opposite! It seems life's stresses have got to me and I let it take its course. Right now, getting down to 20% would feel absolutely fantastic and I know it's something totally within reason. Over the last two and half years I lost forty-eight pounds, and now I've gained about twenty of that back, though I know for sure some of that is muscle. The reason I feel so bad is that I promised myself I would never allow myself to get over 20% body fat again for health reasons. Three months ago I wanted to get down to 15% for aesthetics reasons, and obviously some health benefits too, however, 20% is utterly healthy for my age and considerably better than most in America unfortunately. Either way, over the last forty-eight hours, after becoming tired of making so many excuses I've finally decided it's time to start kicking ass in this department again and not letting life get me down.
I've been living in denial
However, this brings me to my point for this post. Over the last two months, I've noticed all the same bullshit in my head that I'm so familiar with when it came to my past porn habit. The constant breaking promises to myself, saying I would binge "one more night" or "one more weekend" then I would "stop and get back on track". Naturally, after doing this, I would feel even more shame afterwards over my over-indulgence, not only because I had broken my promise to myself, but also because I was not admitting my problem, thus, falling deeper and deeper right back into it again. Needless to say, I'm fully convinced that a true and healthy confidence comes from within our conscious and rightful actions, and it's nothing we can "bypass" with any particular meditation or positive self-talk. Sure, these things might help, but deep down the conscience knows it's bullshit. True confidence comes from sticking with your values and promises to yourself, no matter the difficultly, and when you continually break these promises, you will lose any semblance of true confidence because the cognitive dissonance is just to much to be otherwise. Nature demands everything to be in balance, how could it be otherwise? Also, nature demands a decision, not just a "good" feeling, but a decision backed up with actions.
Thus, I will get back to a healthy lifestyle again.
I hope you all are well.
Porn and Popcorners are Not an Option
Thank you @First_step_thousand_miles for that great comment. I think the gist of it is in general, we have no control of what or where this technology is going or taking us, but we do have control of when and how we use it, and that's key.
Well today I got on the scale and it was sad sight to see. I'm about ten lbs. more than I should be and I'm not happy about that at all. Two or three months ago, I remember telling everyone here I was going to lose pounds and try to get around 15% body fat, well, I did the exact opposite! It seems life's stresses have got to me and I let it take its course. Right now, getting down to 20% would feel absolutely fantastic and I know it's something totally within reason. Over the last two and half years I lost forty-eight pounds, and now I've gained about twenty of that back, though I know for sure some of that is muscle. The reason I feel so bad is that I promised myself I would never allow myself to get over 20% body fat again for health reasons. Three months ago I wanted to get down to 15% for aesthetics reasons, and obviously some health benefits too, however, 20% is utterly healthy for my age and considerably better than most in America unfortunately. Either way, over the last forty-eight hours, after becoming tired of making so many excuses I've finally decided it's time to start kicking ass in this department again and not letting life get me down.
I've been living in denial
However, this brings me to my point for this post. Over the last two months, I've noticed all the same bullshit in my head that I'm so familiar with when it came to my past porn habit. The constant breaking promises to myself, saying I would binge "one more night" or "one more weekend" then I would "stop and get back on track". Naturally, after doing this, I would feel even more shame afterwards over my over-indulgence, not only because I had broken my promise to myself, but also because I was not admitting my problem, thus, falling deeper and deeper right back into it again. Needless to say, I'm fully convinced that a true and healthy confidence comes from within our conscious and rightful actions, and it's nothing we can "bypass" with any particular meditation or positive self-talk. Sure, these things might help, but deep down the conscience knows it's bullshit. True confidence comes from sticking with your values and promises to yourself, no matter the difficultly, and when you continually break these promises, you will lose any semblance of true confidence because the cognitive dissonance is just to much to be otherwise. Nature demands everything to be in balance, how could it be otherwise? Also, nature demands a decision, not just a "good" feeling, but a decision backed up with actions.
Thus, I will get back to a healthy lifestyle again.
I hope you all are well.
Porn and Popcorners are Not an Option
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