Porn is not an option

Awesome to hear. I’m 17 days into no porn - have still had intimacy with my partner and mindful masturbation a couple of times, but dealing with a ton of side effects still. I either cum immediately (when it’s with my gf) or I basically can’t get a consistent erection at all while trying to stimulate myself. It shows up quickly at the start but within seconds I feel like I’ll cum, so then I slow down and then it usually goes away and again won’t come back until moments away from orgasm.

i know that no matter how shitty this is, porn isn’t the answer, so I refuse to look back, but I also hope this doesn’t last forever.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Just hang in there man, you're doing well. This problem will take care of itself, and sometimes it's best not to try to force it. Unfortunately, I have had those exact same experiences, and it's a mind blow for sure, especially when I know it's my own doing! Just keep it up, and this too shall pass.
 
Just hang in there man, you're doing well. This problem will take care of itself, and sometimes it's best not to try to force it. Unfortunately, I have had those exact same experiences, and it's a mind blow for sure, especially when I know it's my own doing! Just keep it up, and this too shall pass.
Thanks man, appreciate the support. Thankfully I have a very supportive spouse on it all, it’s difficult right now to feel horny but utterly incapable at the same time but I just need to be patient and keep on trucking
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Thanks man, appreciate the support. Thankfully I have a very supportive spouse on it all, it’s difficult right now to feel horny but utterly incapable at the same time but I just need to be patient and keep on trucking
Women are amazing, and the ones who fully support us in this journey, doubly so. My girlfriend has been so supportive (which is something I know many guys here don't have) that it's hard for me to imagine otherwise. And yes, there's nothing worse than wanting to rip your lady's clothes off, yet knowing your dick would never get the party invitation!

Stay strong!
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 115

This will be a busy day at school, but I'm going strong, and feeling pretty good at the moment. The last few days I've kind of been in a mental funk of sorts, but I pulled through. I wouldn't say I was tempted, but I was definitely in the mental spot to screw up, if that makes sense.

Onward!
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Well... my dick's not working again! lol. Just in time for my 4 month celebration! I will embrace this flatline, because it's my body healing itself. Here's to Day 117!

The journey is not even close to over.
 

Jswizzle

Active Member
Well... my dick's not working again! lol. Just in time for my 4 month celebration! I will embrace this flatline, because it's my body healing itself. Here's to Day 117!

The journey is not even close to over.
Not alone my friend. Some days are better than others. Almost 120 days! Hell yeah! I can't help but believe that most men suffering from erectile dysfunction use a degree of pornography ignorant to the fact that that may be a cause of the problem. My point is you / we are endavoring on a journey that takes strength, discipline, humility, and courage. Keep on keeping on brother. Better boner days are coming.
 
Not alone my friend. Some days are better than others. Almost 120 days! Hell yeah! I can't help but believe that most men suffering from erectile dysfunction use a degree of pornography ignorant to the fact that that may be a cause of the problem. My point is you / we are endavoring on a journey that takes strength, discipline, humility, and courage. Keep on keeping on brother. Better boner days are coming.
Quitting drugs was a lot easier than quitting porn in my experience. It’s crazy how hard of a habit it is to break.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 118

The lady and I had sex yesterday after my first failure. I don't know what happened, but he was very happy to try again two hours later. I'm not sure if this helped, but this is what I did. After he didn't work (I would say 75% hard) I was calm and told myself that it's okay, and was not hard on myself in anyway like I had been two or three weeks ago (Of course she's wonderful, and was understanding). I then continued my normal morning routine. Later, at my study desk, I started to visualize myself having sex with my girl; her smells, her body, her hair, while visualizing my dick getting hard (and sure as hell nothing porn like) and I could sense my man becoming turned on by this. I'm actually surprised I could fantasize because it's not something I'm good at, thanks to porn. Anyways, she walked in sometime later and it was game on.

Obviously, it goes without saying, this isn't something you should try at home if you're one who's prone to fantasize about shit you shouldn't. But for me (with a broken fantasizer), this seemed to work. At least yesterday! lol.

Fuck this shit.
 

Jswizzle

Active Member
Day 118

The lady and I had sex yesterday after my first failure. I don't know what happened, but he was very happy to try again two hours later. I'm not sure if this helped, but this is what I did. After he didn't work (I would say 75% hard) I was calm and told myself that it's okay, and was not hard on myself in anyway like I had been two or three weeks ago (Of course she's wonderful, and was understanding). I then continued my normal morning routine. Later, at my study desk, I started to visualize myself having sex with my girl; her smells, her body, her hair, while visualizing my dick getting hard (and sure as hell nothing porn like) and I could sense my man becoming turned on by this. I'm actually surprised I could fantasize because it's not something I'm good at, thanks to porn. Anyways, she walked in sometime later and it was game on.

Obviously, it goes without saying, this isn't something you should try at home if you're one who's prone to fantasize about shit you shouldn't. But for me (with a broken fantasizer), this seemed to work. At least yesterday! lol.

Fuck this shit.
Blondie,

Glad you had a good experience sexually with your girl. I think it's healthy to visualize being sexual with your partner and confront the shame from a previously disappointing experience. Every man has had times where their dick doesn't work as well for them as well as they would like. If they deny it, they're lying.

I think porn leads us as men to believe that the only way to satisfy our lady is to be rock hard 45 minutes to an hour and pound away from multiple positions while she O's from each varient until we finish. This perception will often become the expectation in our own minds which leads to shame when we don't perform like the men in the porn.

Reality is men in the pornographic material have chemical help taken orally or needles directly injecting medication to into their dick. Plus many have to cut scene over periods of time to perform.

Point being... the synthetic manufactured sexual experience of the pornography consumed becomes our expectations of ourselves. Fuck that. It's not real.

Congratulations on 118!
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Thank you Jswizzle, I really appreciate your feedback. And you're right about porn making us men think we have to be this or that etc. It's just fucked up in every conceivable way you look at it. Don't even get me started how the industry treats the women and men who "work" in it.

I think my biggest thing mentally is just trying to get my head around why I'm having problems now instead of when I was looking at porn every 3 to 4 months for the last year and half. My girlfriend and I have been lucky to have continued our "honeymoon period" for the last 8 years, with sex being a frequent endeavor. Over this past year and half though, after I would fuck up, I might have had a problem for a day or two, but then it was back to our regular sex life (of course, still not as rock hard as my year and half streak ). But for some reason this time, my decision has seemed to have had a bigger impact on my brain for one reason or another. Maybe my newfound resolve? This is a good thing of course, it just sometimes makes my head spin trying to figure out why. I do know this though, this time around I've cut out any extra stimulus on the internet or tv, while for example, watching a movie with my girlfriend. Of course I'm not talking about any R rated shit mind you, but just even an actress in a swimsuit etc. The rule being that if it's pixels, I'm taking a break, even if it's not porn and is somewhat innocent. Thus, maybe this time around my brain is going into shock more than it did in past times.

Who really knows for sure.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Awesome to hear. I’m 17 days into no porn - have still had intimacy with my partner and mindful masturbation a couple of times, but dealing with a ton of side effects still. I either cum immediately (when it’s with my gf) or I basically can’t get a consistent erection at all while trying to stimulate myself. It shows up quickly at the start but within seconds I feel like I’ll cum, so then I slow down and then it usually goes away and again won’t come back until moments away from orgasm.

i know that no matter how shitty this is, porn isn’t the answer, so I refuse to look back, but I also hope this doesn’t last forever.
Good job man. I've been there, and it sucks. I'm still working through that shit right now.

Yes, porn is never, no matter how bad your day, the answer! Keep up the fight!
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 120!

I finally made it 120 days! It's been a long time since I've been this far. I feel very happy today, but I also feel cautious and stoic in a way; because as they say, pride comes before the fall. I'm proud of my achievement, but I know I have a long ways to go yet in my full recovery. And if experience has taught me anything (even after 500 something days clean once); put me in a certain life situation, or a month of stress, and I've proven to myself that I can still fall if I'm not on my guard. Let us never ride the waves of complacency!

But today is a beautiful day, and I will cherish it

Onwards!
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 121

Yesterday was really fucking crazy. On one hand, it started off great, but most of the day was terrible, and I didn't realize why until about 6 o'clock in the evening. I can honestly say I was having some extreme withdrawal symptoms, and in ways I haven't felt since I "officially" quit porn almost four years ago. I woke up completely stressed over nothing, practically depressed, at one moment I even felt like crying (extremely rare for me). Throughout the day, everything, and I mean everything, pissed me off, even the stupidest shit, in ways that never would normally. It was only around 6 when I realized what the hell was happening. I eventually asked myself, "Hey man, what the hell is wrong with you?" and I honestly couldn't answer the question truthfully, because nothing was really wrong, it was all in my head!

Funny thing is, after I figured this out, I become extremely happy, and I suddenly had flashbacks of my days of struggle four years ago, when I had decided to quite this shit once and for all. I guess because I've been relapsing every 3 or 4 months, I haven't actually experienced these symptoms in a while. Knowing this, made me very happy, and I finished my day of 4 months clean by relaxing and hanging out with the lady.

Moral of the story is, do not fuck with this shit. Period. There is absolutely nothing good or worthwhile in any of it. And be not tempted to say to yourself, as I so foolishly was, "I only look at porn once in a while, it doesn't affect me as it does other guys". Trust me, I've been that guy for the last year and half (only looking every 3 or so months), and my brain is not even close to being healed.

Porn Avenue leads to nowhere.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 122

When looking at my counter at Fortify last night, I realized that my last streak was actually 129 days. Thus, I have another week until I beat that record. Victory is within my grasp!
 
Top