Great quote. The past days I have been thinking a lot about what's called "willingness" - a sort of mindset where you would focus on and welcome any feeling that might arise, good or bad. Not fighting the feeling you are experiencing actually makes it so much easier. Sort of like in mindfulness when you notice a thought, it automatically subsides and you are able to move on.Day 224
"All emotions have something to offer us. That is why we have them in the first place. The gifts of comfortable emotions such as joy, love, and passion are easy to receive. However, the gifts of our uncomfortable emotions such as anger, sadness, and fear are equally important. Anger gives us assertiveness, strength, and energy. Sadness gives us healing, growth, and awareness. Fear gives us preservation, wisdom, and protection. When we avoid or push our uncomfortable emotions away, we deny ourselves their gifts."
Stein, Timothy. Gifts of Recovery: Daily Meditations for Men and Women in Recovery from Sex & Porn Addiction (p. 140).
Hi downhillfromhere, that's a really good point. It's so easy to try to fight "bad thoughts" or "bad feelings" that it can wear you out at the end of the day and often lead you to do things you don't wish to do. For myself, learning how to deal with my emotions has been the biggest help in my battle against porn. I still have a long ways to go.Great quote. The past days I have been thinking a lot about what's called "willingness" - a sort of mindset where you would focus on and welcome any feeling that might arise, good or bad. Not fighting the feeling you are experiencing actually makes it so much easier. Sort of like in mindfulness when you notice a thought, it automatically subsides and you are able to move on.
that's my man...Day 226
I understand what you mean. I guess people have different opinions about what a success story should be. Maybe for a hardcore relapser like myself, who relapses over and over with streaks under 10 days, 90 days would be a success story in the eyes of some people. But I don't think it really matters, what matters is to keep going and if writing in the success stories section after 30 days helps you, then great. But, we must be careful about getting cocky with this thing cause that's when porn strikes.Day 227
The last few days have been quite emotionally tumultuous for me. The emotions I feel when not looking at porn are so much more powerful than before, that it still catches me by surprise sometimes. But this is a good thing and I need to embrace it.
I did think last night about something though that I said here a few days ago and that I wanted to clarify. I mentioned reading the success stories and how I wouldn't write a success story until maybe the day before my death. It was a morbid comment, half a joke, but in truth how I felt at the time; I have a driven personality and sometimes get extreme in my rhetoric. Either way, I just want to make sure that it's clear that I didn't mean anyone who has written in there after 90 days, 10 days, etc. shouldn't feel like they or their goal wasn't a success story. It was.
We are all success stories no matter how many days porn-free we've accomplished. We are all in different parts of this journey and have different goals that we are aiming at. For myself, I've done 90 days enough times that it doesn't really make me think twice anymore. This is good, this is growth for me. Thus, setting my sights to a year, or even, breaking my record of 530 something days and going to 2 full years seems practically impossible for me, hence why I must do it.
Wherever you are at on this journey, you must do whatever seems impossible for you. If that's setting your sights at 3 days, 10 days or 90 day, then go for it with your heart and soul. Push yourself beyond what you think you are capable of, because that is the only way to grow. However, never forget, that in the end, any day without porn is alreadly a success story.
Keeping rocking it everyone.
Blondie
...but I guess it was more to try and help others.
I like this attitude - very inspirational2 full years seems practically impossible for me, hence why I must do it.