Long one but need help

[Imad]

Soo... this is the first time i came clean about my addiction and its effects on my life, i have always kept it private and never wanted it to see the light of day and drown in its darkness and misery but its only getting stronger soo i feel like there is no point in not asking for help, since i feel like i exhausted all i had. Anyway let me tell my story, as you have probbably noticed english isnt my native language soo sorry for any annoyance my spelling has caused youm, i was born in slavic country in eastern europe, grown up in a only the strongest survive culture, got exposed to porn at young age of 6, but never really got into it until later at maybe 11-12 now im 19, and i became addicted, back then masturbation was my coping mechanism, every time i was deppressed or angry i would just go jerk off, and it became a habit, it fed to my escapism since i was a weak child always got bullied in school and by friends, as time passed i changed, i got a lot stronger physically and mentally and i evolved from the one being bullied to someone who is capable of showing force, thats when the need for escapism has gone but my porn addiction stayed, and i could never get rid of it, 4 years ago it was a major factor in the my biggest failure in life and thats when i sunk in even more and now i have been give the second chance at it and i have a fear that this addiction if not eradicated in weeks will ruin my life.


Now that my boring life story is out of the way ill start describing the addiction here, it started off normal with vanila porn, and then went onto lesbians and after a few years evolved into femdom and now into sissy hypno and shemale hypno, it all disgusts me and has nothing to do with how a im as person im a well built, strong, good looking, decent at math, average testosterone, and i would never not a chance in hell that i would be gay or trans, its just that my brain has been soo ruined by porn that it gets turned on by that, and it disgusts me to my core, and makes me mad at myself since im a orthodox christian and this goes against everything my religion preaches. My goal is to completely and utterly defeat my addiction or at least suppress it for the next 4-5 months, what i have noticed triggers me is when i am bored or when i get dissapointed, when i used to have a job when i would come back from work i had no wish to masturbate nor watch porn and i would fall asleep at 22h, far from my ussual 3am but i cant work now since i have other things that need time dedicated to them. I would be gratefull for any help you guys can provide and any first steps i need to take that i may not have already tried, i welcome any help, and feel free to shame me and tell me how much of a loser i am.

 

[Stiffy999]

Soo... this is the first time i came clean about my addiction and its effects on my life, i have always kept it private and never wanted it to see the light of day and drown in its darkness and misery but its only getting stronger soo i feel like there is no point in not asking for help, since i feel like i exhausted all i had. Anyway let me tell my story, as you have probbably noticed english isnt my native language soo sorry for any annoyance my spelling has caused youm, i was born in slavic country in eastern europe, grown up in a only the strongest survive culture, got exposed to porn at young age of 6, but never really got into it until later at maybe 11-12 now im 19, and i became addicted, back then masturbation was my coping mechanism, every time i was deppressed or angry i would just go jerk off, and it became a habit, it fed to my escapism since i was a weak child always got bullied in school and by friends, as time passed i changed, i got a lot stronger physically and mentally and i evolved from the one being bullied to someone who is capable of showing force, thats when the need for escapism has gone but my porn addiction stayed, and i could never get rid of it, 4 years ago it was a major factor in the my biggest failure in life and thats when i sunk in even more and now i have been give the second chance at it and i have a fear that this addiction if not eradicated in weeks will ruin my life.


Now that my boring life story is out of the way ill start describing the addiction here, it started off normal with vanila porn, and then went onto lesbians and after a few years evolved into femdom and now into sissy hypno and shemale hypno, it all disgusts me and has nothing to do with how a im as person im a well built, strong, good looking, decent at math, average testosterone, and i would never not a chance in hell that i would be gay or trans, its just that my brain has been soo ruined by porn that it gets turned on by that, and it disgusts me to my core, and makes me mad at myself since im a orthodox christian and this goes against everything my religion preaches. My goal is to completely and utterly defeat my addiction or at least suppress it for the next 4-5 months, what i have noticed triggers me is when i am bored or when i get dissapointed, when i used to have a job when i would come back from work i had no wish to masturbate nor watch porn and i would fall asleep at 22h, far from my ussual 3am but i cant work now since i have other things that need time dedicated to them. I would be gratefull for any help you guys can provide and any first steps i need to take that i may not have already tried, i welcome any help, and feel free to shame me and tell me how much of a loser i am.

You are young and aware of your addiction,there is much time ahead of you so don't be depressed.This is your opportunity to destroy your ugly habit and make your life better.I'm also from an orthodox slavic country so I understand your mentality.Firstly,you need to find coping mechanisms for your triggers and avoid them always.What helped me was that I wrote on piece of paper all the negative consequences of PMO and whenever I felt an urge I picked that paper and read it.Now about avoiding triggers,boredom was the biggest trigger for me so whenever I was laying in bed doing nothing productive my urges persisted and I assure you that willpower is not enough to beat them in a longer period of time.I changed my lifestyle,started hanging out with my friends much more often,started doing sports almost every day and a lot of studying for the university.Do whatever you like that will keep you out of your bed or chair and that will keep your mind busy.Secondly,you need to find yourself a loving partner to rewire your brain which I know is easier said than done.However set yourself a goal like 30,60,90 days or any number you'd like and after reaching that goal if you feel confident enough go out in dating world,talk to girls find someone special to help you with your journey.Wish you best of luck !

 

[Imad]

You are young and aware of your addiction,there is much time ahead of you so don't be depressed.This is your opportunity to destroy your ugly habit and make your life better.I'm also from an orthodox slavic country so I understand your mentality.Firstly,you need to find coping mechanisms for your triggers and avoid them always.What helped me was that I wrote on piece of paper all the negative consequences of PMO and whenever I felt an urge I picked that paper and read it.Now about avoiding triggers,boredom was the biggest trigger for me so whenever I was laying in bed doing nothing productive my urges persisted and I assure you that willpower is not enough to beat them in a longer period of time.I changed my lifestyle,started hanging out with my friends much more often,started doing sports almost every day and a lot of studying for the university.Do whatever you like that will keep you out of your bed or chair and that will keep your mind busy.Secondly,you need to find yourself a loving partner to rewire your brain which I know is easier said than done.However set yourself a goal like 30,60,90 days or any number you'd like and after reaching that goal if you feel confident enough go out in dating world,talk to girls find someone special to help you with your journey.Wish you best of luck !

First of all thank you for youre time and encouraging words it means a lot to me that someone would dedicate their time to help me a complete stranger on the internet. What i decided to do is to follow a flying eagle aproach https://flying-eagle-method.org/ found this on another thread here, i have always been aware of all the negative effects of my addiction, and the complete irrationality behind it but having it all written down on web page helps since its a mental reminder in a time when my rational brain is shut off, i have in the past gone for almost a year without masturbating, and a few times for a few months but i always relapse hard, but now i want to end it decissively and today is my first day "free " and i hope to achieve at least 100 days.

 

[Carl_Smith]

Hi, I read your post and am sorry you stumbled on this at such a young age. If you are younger than 24, you're still an adolescent! I hope my guide helps you, brother. Also watch the YBOP video, and the video about why Christians often use the wrong method of quitting porn (those are in the Acknowledgements at the end). I'm praying for you! I hope you and all young guys quit earlier than I did (I quit at age 41). PS Your English is great.

 

[Carl_Smith]

One other thing, my oldest son is 12, so just now starting the age of adolescence (12-24), and I'm reading a lot about how men's thinking brains especially aren't well developed at that age. That's why car insurance is so expensive until age 25, and the army loves young men (they'll do anything crazy without thinking about it). I hope your "rational" brain catches up, like you said.

I know when I was a teenager I did insane stuff that I can't explain, looking back 20 years later. It's a sad fact of life and brain development, I think, so you should not feel any shame about it!

Added https://flying-eagle-method.org/#maturity with details.

 

[Imad]

Hi, I read your post and am sorry you stumbled on this at such a young age. If you are younger than 24, you're still an adolescent! I hope my guide helps you, brother. Also watch the YBOP video, and the video about why Christians often use the wrong method of quitting porn (those are in the Acknowledgements at the end). I'm praying for you! I hope you and all young guys quit earlier than I did (I quit at age 41). PS Your English is great.

Thanks for replying you're guide is great and what matters the most it works which is great, today is my 3rd day off feels great dont have urges at all keeping myself busy with life responsibilities and friends porn doesnt even come to mind at least for now. I belive that the problem with young people is that at least here this behavior is praised and positively enforced by the culture and social circles which is crazy, noone really teaches kids the negatives and they have nowhere to learn it from since the parents here wont tell you anything about it except its bad dont do, by the time they realize they have a problem its already a habit, when you are young everything is centered around this hedonistic mindset of chasing pleasure, and a part of growing up is understanding the pointlessness of it, and the rise of porn addiction is just a symptom of a much larger problem and that is that young people cant find a purpose at life.

 

[Carl_Smith]

You are wiser than I was at age 19. When I was 19, I was staying up until 3am and playing video games and fapping to soft core porn. I dropped out of college due to that, and didn't know why I was depressed and had no meaning in my life. Doctors just wanted to put me on pills. It was over *20 years later* that I learned both of those were bad for me. Adults are still learning themselves, so the kids are suffering.

Live free!

 

[Stiffy999]

First of all thank you for youre time and encouraging words it means a lot to me that someone would dedicate their time to help me a complete stranger on the internet. What i decided to do is to follow a flying eagle aproach https://flying-eagle-method.org/ found this on another thread here, i have always been aware of all the negative effects of my addiction, and the complete irrationality behind it but having it all written down on web page helps since its a mental reminder in a time when my rational brain is shut off, i have in the past gone for almost a year without masturbating, and a few times for a few months but i always relapse hard, but now i want to end it decissively and today is my first day "free " and i hope to achieve at least 100 days.

I'm happy that you found a method that works for you.Remember always keep your mind busy, don't let lazyiness take over because then your urges will strike hard,believe me.Don't look on this as abandoning addiction but rather as improving your life for good and the bonus is functional penis.Keep up with good work wish you all the best!

 

[Carl_Smith]

I actually disagree with keeping busy. I added this to my guide:

If you do as little as possible for a period of time each day, it recharges your brain to sprint and focus later. Embrace doing nothing, don’t let porn suck it away like a black hole.

Perhaps that is easier for some people after they're 3-4 months free, but believe me, doing nothing is a wonderful thing to recharge your energy. We are apex predators, chilling and doing nothing for a while is ok.

 

[Stiffy999]

I actually disagree with keeping busy. I added this to my guide:

If you do as little as possible for a period of time each day, it recharges your brain to sprint and focus later. Embrace doing nothing, don’t let porn suck it away like a black hole.

Perhaps that is easier for some people after they're 3-4 months free, but believe me, doing nothing is a wonderful thing to recharge your energy. We are apex predators, chilling and doing nothing for a while is ok.

I see what you are trying to say,but in most of the cases here-guys spend their whole porn addicted life in bed doing nothing and kill their boredom by fapping.I mean laziness is trigger for many guys here.I know for a fact that if you don't ever do anything and keep laying in bed or by computer desk,your urges will persist and only willpower won't keep you from relapsing.Maybe it can keep you out for some time but if you don't change your lifestyle,laziness will eventually lead you to relapse.