60 Days PMO / 6 -> 0 Days P Free / 4 Days MO Free
After my near relapse last week I've been generally feeling a bit better this week. That is until today, and I fell into an instagram trap again. While it didn't lead me to seek out "actual" P, I did find myself digging through and searching for content in accounts that were overly sensual, evocative, and otherwise intended to be sexy. I'm counting this as endulging in the "seek" behavior and resetting my P counter.
I'm trying to figure out a good way to avoid this - I don't want to uninstall instagram because my wife likes to send me cute videos of dogs and cats, but I know keeping it on my phone is a liability. It's way to easy to hop into the discover tab and start "seeking." I do feel a little bit like I've gotten better at recognizing when it's happening, but I still have a really hard time controlling myself and putting a stop to it. I've been feeling like I just haven't been doing as well as the start of my reboot, but I'm trying to understand that these kinds of hurdles are a normal part of recovery.
Trying to hold myself accountable by posting here, and I do feel like taking a bit of control of the situation has made me feel better. I definitely need to try harder to keep myself occupied in different ways. I've had a lot of moments this past week where I just settled into the couch and watched youtube endlessly, and I never feel very good when that happens. Here's to hoping I can set myself up with some better tiny habits over the next week.
After my near relapse last week I've been generally feeling a bit better this week. That is until today, and I fell into an instagram trap again. While it didn't lead me to seek out "actual" P, I did find myself digging through and searching for content in accounts that were overly sensual, evocative, and otherwise intended to be sexy. I'm counting this as endulging in the "seek" behavior and resetting my P counter.
I'm trying to figure out a good way to avoid this - I don't want to uninstall instagram because my wife likes to send me cute videos of dogs and cats, but I know keeping it on my phone is a liability. It's way to easy to hop into the discover tab and start "seeking." I do feel a little bit like I've gotten better at recognizing when it's happening, but I still have a really hard time controlling myself and putting a stop to it. I've been feeling like I just haven't been doing as well as the start of my reboot, but I'm trying to understand that these kinds of hurdles are a normal part of recovery.
Trying to hold myself accountable by posting here, and I do feel like taking a bit of control of the situation has made me feel better. I definitely need to try harder to keep myself occupied in different ways. I've had a lot of moments this past week where I just settled into the couch and watched youtube endlessly, and I never feel very good when that happens. Here's to hoping I can set myself up with some better tiny habits over the next week.