I am just at the beginning. Day 1.

Blondie

Well-Known Member
Is this all worth it?

In a word, yes! In every conceivable way life is 100% better on this side of the fence. I know PE sucks, I've been there (I probably will experience it again since I'm recovering too), but you must think long term; and in the long run, your man will work again! Trust me. I'm really proud of you. 10 days is amazing! Keep up the good work.
 

Kid Gohan

Active Member
Youre doing well bro, everyday you go without porn is a step towards improving yourself and getting rid of this addiction thats been with you most of your life. I had similar issues when I first started where my partner expected me to initiate sex and didnt even believe that I would make it past a week without porn. I didnt let it bother me because I was doing it for me and no one else. Eventually I talked to her about it and told her that sex in a relationship is a two way street. I admitted that it was initially my fault that the sex wasnt where either of us wanted it to be but I was trying to make it work and make sure we could both enjoy sex. It'll be rough at first but the more she sees how much you want to change for yourself i'm sure she'll come around.
Your short term goals are very attainable and its all in how bad you want to see yourself in a better place.

Keep going the way you are and youll get there in no time
 
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nodders94

Member
Day 12 - The Struggle

My partner and I had sex again yesterday. I feel like she tried to initiate it but once again, IDK, it wasn't great. I suffered a PME again... its frustrating as all hell. She went to work today and I am struggling. I want to just feel some sense of pleasure, safety, calmness. But I know I can't because if I do, I start again and I don't want to start again. But I also dont want to keep feeling like shit after every time I have sex.
 

nodders94

Member
Day 12 --> Day 0

I broke. I broke. A lazy Sunday. A day in which I had nothing to do. And yet, that was one of the hardest things. I had nothing to do to keep my focus. Nothing to keep me from breaking. the urge became too much.

I will say this. The disgust I had felt when I first started this process from when I finished PMO, was not there. This time it wasn't. It was clear. It just felt like I tidied up an urge. I do not feel the need to seek it again. I will be starting from Day 1. I know that this will be a long process. I know I screwed up. I know I need to continue on this journey. But I also know this relapse does not maketh man.

Today is Day 0. I will start again.
 

Kid Gohan

Active Member
Now use everything you've learned so far to make some improvements for next time you get a massive urge. Reflect on why you did relapse, could there have been something else for you to do? What will be the consequences of you doing it again? Do you need porn to MO?
Stuff like that.

Come back stronger and better. You've got this brother
 

nodders94

Member
Day 6 AR (After Relapse) - This week has not been terrible. I did MO one time, but not to porn and no stimulation. Is this ok? I feel like it is. Today, Saturday is starting to feel like when I relapsed. My partner is at work and I have very little to do today. However, this week has gone smoothly since the relapse on Sunday. What has changed? Not much. but i am trying to stick to my guns here. i will resist.
 
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