New Journal

Right - take it one day at a time
Have you thought about what your triggers were this time?
You can turn this into a positive experience by looking at what went wrong and seeing where to make improvements
You got this! 💪
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Didn’t really stay away yesterday. Edging again. Trying to get this under control on my own without the filter

Good for you, k-fff~! It just takes practice, and you may fall a couple of times, but don't go back to the filter, unless you really feel you don't have control.

All of my more lengthier streaks have been without p-filters or other disempowering methods.

You can do it! Believe in yourself, you'll be stronger for it.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
Good for you, k-fff~! It just takes practice, and you may fall a couple of times, but don't go back to the filter, unless you really feel you don't have control.

All of my more lengthier streaks have been without p-filters or other disempowering methods.

You can do it! Believe in yourself, you'll be stronger for it.
I am relapsing about every three days again. I know what you mean about the filter. I have a dependency on it, but I am gonna go back to it considering. I have to take a break from everything I like. And this endless scrolling is reinjuring my hands. Tomorrow I will be back on the filter.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
Day 1
Massive headache. I appreciate all the people that commented. When I relapse, in purposely avoid this place out of a sense of shame, I got the filters back on. At the end of the day, I need to find a way to work on urges instead of getting pulled into autopilot. I get triggered and I am immediately back to edging. Honestly, today has some of the worst withdrawals. Head hurts and I have no motivation or energy.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
Day 41
Back in the horror zone of my addiction. Bad urges along with desires to pursue other women besides my gf. This is fairly typical. I get to this point and to partly control bad behavior on my point I use. This isn’t the only girl this has happened with either so I know it’s my problem not the girls. Right now, I feel mostly in a flatline. I can still have sex but the libido is kind of dead most days.
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Depressed. I am really really depressed.

Hope you feel better, k-fff! I know sometimes it seems hopeless, like nothing will change. Be patient with yourself, and never give up. Just like drops of water over time can carve out breath-taking canyons, your small incremental changes will carve out a new life for you.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
Hope you feel better, k-fff! I know sometimes it seems hopeless, like nothing will change. Be patient with yourself, and never give up. Just like drops of water over time can carve out breath-taking canyons, your small incremental changes will carve out a new life for you.
I’m still porn free which is good, but I have pretty much lost hope in finding a woman to spend the rest of my life with. At the moment, that’s where I’m at. I need to leave my job and the country I’m in for my longterm health and sanity.
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
I’m still porn free which is good, but I have pretty much lost hope in finding a woman to spend the rest of my life with. At the moment, that’s where I’m at. I need to leave my job and the country I’m in for my longterm health and sanity.

It may be difficult, but you'll always thank yourself for making that move... When I read this I had the imagery of cutting oneself lose from being trapped under a rock- you may lose an arm rather than die there (and I hope its not that dire!), but you'll regain your freedom and your life!
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
It may be difficult, but you'll always thank yourself for making that move... When I read this I had the imagery of cutting oneself lose from being trapped under a rock- you may lose an arm rather than die there (and I hope its not that dire!), but you'll regain your freedom and your life!
Yea, I feel like I’m suffocating, but more then anything I am tired. I can say I am happy I am not numbing these feelings with porn. I feel like it’s impossible to tell how you really feel when you’re using it.
 
Sorry to hear about how you're feeling k-fff
Make a plan for change, break it down into small but concrete steps, and do it
Amazing work getting to day 41 too - easy to run to porn when things get tough, but great to see you working on yourself 💪
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
Sorry to hear about how you're feeling k-fff
Make a plan for change, break it down into small but concrete steps, and do it
Amazing work getting to day 41 too - easy to run to porn when things get tough, but great to see you working on yourself 💪
These days are usually around the time I fail and relapse. The most I’m doing is just focusing on staying porn free. My hands are still very hurt and doctors have been completely useless in helping me,
 
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