Journey to Freedom

Sheggz

Member
Just bear with me. Am 24 years old and have been fighting this battle since i can remember. I will stop for a period and then after sometime, I find myself relapsing again. Here am I today again hoping to begin my journey to total freedom.
It all began when I was around 12 years old at a church when I saw a guy masturbating and I got curious so I tried it out. It felt good and pleasurable that I actually started masturbating from that time onward using some of my famale teachers as triggers. And that continued till I entered secondary school where I was introduced to harlequin novels which became my new trigger. On entering university my parents bought a laptop and phone for me cause their policy was that you don't have any personal electronic device until you are done with high school. On getting those devices, I got free access to pornographic sites,videos, comics, mangas and manhuas which became my new trigger. Am currently running my master's program but still chained by this beast called pornography. It has prevented me from relating with people especially those of the opposite sex and it has completely changed my thought process and I do almost everything alone without interacting with other people. I have tried changing over and over again but have only succeeded for at most 6 months before relapsing again.
As I embark on this journey again, my goal is just to live free one day at a time till am free indeed. Onward ever, backward never since I've found a community I can be accountable to. Thanks.
 

Carl_Smith

Active Member
Hey Sheggz, thanks for your sharing your story. I had to look up what a Manhua was, I learned something. Can I suggest reading https://flying-eagle-method.org/ ? It should only take an hour.

Yes, porn destroys relationships. When you quit, that will set you way ahead of the other guys. Good luck!
 

Sheggz

Member
Day 1: The day was pretty normal and I did not feel any strong urge for pornography though I filled my day with activities like watching videos and reading write-ups on pornography and it's effect, reading christian literature and 3D modelling.
 

Sheggz

Member
Day 3: I had planned to open up to my parents but I did not have the courage until today I was able to tell my mum about my addiction to porn. But today was bad for me, my laptop packed up and upon giving it to an hardware engineer who wanted to help me to repair it but it was from one problem to another until the day was over but I was able to handle the stress without resorting to porn.
 

Sheggz

Member
Day 5: I did not feel any urge to watch porn and I tried talking to people but it seems I find it very difficult to approach people especially the opposite sex since I've always been a shut in
 
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Deleted member 22651

Guest
Day 5: I did not feel any urge to watch porn and I tried talking to people but it seems I find it very difficult to approach people especially the opposite sex since I've always been a shut in
As long as you're trying and improving one day at a time, you're doing well.

When it comes to talking to women or just people in general, one thing I learned is to firstly be interested in them, if you ask them questions that get them talking more about themselves, you can sit there and listen to them and learn new things and secondly, be interesting, talk about your interests, things that you think are amazing/interesting that you've done or want to do.

Dont stress too much though, all this comes with practice and learning where and how you can improve yourself in any conversations.

You've got this!!
 

Sheggz

Member
As long as you're trying and improving one day at a time, you're doing well.

When it comes to talking to women or just people in general, one thing I learned is to firstly be interested in them, if you ask them questions that get them talking more about themselves, you can sit there and listen to them and learn new things and secondly, be interesting, talk about your interests, things that you think are amazing/interesting that you've done or want to do.

Dont stress too much though, all this comes with practice and learning where and how you can improve yourself in any conversations.

You've got this!!
Thanks, I will try to use that approach
 

Sheggz

Member
Day 8: Though I have not pmo'd, I don't know what is happening, for the past two days I have been having second looks and thinking about ladies that looks beautiful and well endowed. I want to stop it but don't know how. Please I need advice.
 

TOBAF

Member
Focus on you and your health. Fill you reward bucket with good healthy things. Accomplishments and compliments from others.
 

Sheggz

Member
Day 6: On the 1st of Febuary, I relasped by reading comics that contained pornographic contents though I did not watch any pornographic videos so am starting my count from the beginning again. So far, my thoughts and eyes still stray away when I see well endowed women. I've decided to stop reading comics and stuffs like that altogether both the ordinary and abnormal ones. May God help me cause it have not been easy since I've been doing this for a long time. Some times, after taking an inventory of my days, I just feel like I've not achieved anything notable though am trying to learn new things.
 

Senpar

Member
Day 6: On the 1st of Febuary, I relasped by reading comics that contained pornographic contents though I did not watch any pornographic videos so am starting my count from the beginning again. So far, my thoughts and eyes still stray away when I see well endowed women. I've decided to stop reading comics and stuffs like that altogether both the ordinary and abnormal ones. May God help me cause it have not been easy since I've been doing this for a long time. Some times, after taking an inventory of my days, I just feel like I've not achieved anything notable though am trying to learn new things.
Hi Sheggz, that's good you are dedicated to be free from porn, I support that!
Was The comic book you read a pornography one or had some explicit content? I don't expect that we'll be totally free from sexual contents, lower one even, in movies, cartoons, adds etc. The world today has lots of that, and you need to surpass that, you can be sure! But if you wanna to restart, no problem, but don't make it struggle you.

Follow my reports, I started recently: https://forum.rebootnation.org/index.php?threads/21692/

(Sorry for bad English, I'm brazilian kkk)
 
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