Honesty

Ihateporn

Member
Hello I am 52 years old and I have been using porn since I accidentally found my dads stash when I was 8 or 9 years old.
Looking back and even today I didn’t realize what this was and what this did to me today.
My partner has finally had enough. It has ruined her self esteem, her self worth, and has created so much doubt in me being faithful to her.
Today I have been without porn for 25 days. I have started talking to a psychologist and decided to be totally honest with my maybe ex wife.
It was very hard on me emotionally but it has also been a little liberating. It has removed some weight of my shoulders and has let some of the guilt I carry go.
I really don’t know where I go from here or if I will be able to salvage my relationship with my wife. But I have decided that regardless of what comes of it that I will fix me.
Today I start mi journey to recovery from this crippling addiction.
One question? Do I open up to the rest of my family members so that they know what is reading going on in my mariage?
Just trying to figure all my things out!!
Thanks for any help in advance.
 

TOBAF

Member
Not sure how much they need to know, especially if you are not sure where your family might stand. I am in a similar situation and the impact porn has on your partner is catastrophic. One day at a time. Keep up the good work.
 

Fappy

Respected Member
i dont see any reason to go telling your whole family about it, it could cause undue stress for you - and stress as we know is a common cause of relaspe.
 

Unashamed

Member
To be honest, it’s potentially non of your families business. Not trying to be callous about it, but the fact is it is your relationship and if they can’t handle that for the time being, they aren’t ready to handle the truth about your issues. That being said, talk with your wife, be honest with her, if she feels like healing could happen by sharing with family then maybe.

After I had an affair, our therapist told us to keep it on a need to know basis, that way people don’t feel like they have to take sides or judge you or her. Good luck my friend, we’re here for you! Not sure I helped but that’s my 2 cents!
 

Gracie

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Depends on what works for you in telling family. My husband told our sons. Then he said I should probably tell our Daughterinlaws. I did and apparently one son used and I helped my Daughterinlaw through some things. It worked well for us because they were witnessing our pain and our hard work.
 
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