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Gabe Deem

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I am wondering, should we see PMO as an habit or as an addiction for the sake of reboot?
What we label the problem doesn't matter. In its most basic form, it is unlearning what we've found to be unhealthy and learning to pursue what is healthy.

Neurologically it's about regaining sensitivity, self-control and rewiring the reward circuit to the point we can feel excitement from a real person, and other natural rewards.

Whether one calls it a habit, compulsion, or addiction is individual preference and isn't important. What's important is identifying a problem and taking steps to fix it.

Use whatever label you personally find helpful in your own recovery process. I prefer calling it an addiction as there are physiological brain changes that lead to a disorder of structure and function of the brain that produce specific signs and symptoms.

Hope this helps. Keep truckin' and hope the best for you.
 
Thanks for your answers. I had this question because someone said on another site that it's easier to reboot if we call it an habit. We are less responsible for addictions than habits. Anyway i prefer to call it an addiction because I can easily find the excuse that "it's not that bad".

Today the zombie mode was activated. Had really no pleasure while eating, it feels really weird but as long as i am not in the binge dopamine mode it's totally fine.
 
I have been very tired since this afternoon. It's good news, i am healing my brain. I will keep learning things on P and don't indulge in dopamine seaking behaviour. I will watch for the thousand time the video of Gary Wilson. Stopping P (or dopamine research) is my number 1 goal at the moment. I can't ignore the shame, i have to embrace it and evolve. I know it will be hard, i will have brain fog, anxiety, cravings, exhaust, no sleep... But they are proofs that i am recovering from this addiction i fed during a long time. I maintained it because i was blind, i wanted to stop P but also to get pleasure. I want the truth, i want to know what i am hiding to myself.
 
Same as yesterday, i have felt like shit since this afternoon. Brain fog, anxiety too. But withdrawals are normal after years of superstimuli. I am not fighting P addiction but Dopamine addiction.
 
Again, since this afternoon i have been tired. I have felt better since i ate 1 hour ago. I must be vigilant. I can't let go and let my P addiction override my consciousness. I will keep doing the no arousal (or dopamine) method. I mean i don't look women in the streets nor watch sexual content on the internet. I don't think of it. Moreover i don't indulge in binge eating or video games because it involves using the same neural network as P. I am not done yet, i know it. There is a long way to go. I lied to myself for almost 9 years. Now i can see only a glimpse of the truth but i know that letting your addiction in control of your life isn't what i would call living.
Staying strong, staying humble,staying human
 
Hey! I have more energy since yesterday evening. But it's the beginning of P thoughts. I did a mistake today too, i ate way too much again but it was healthy food at least. I consider it as a relapse to be honest. I was really anxious in the afternoon. I realised that i don't fit at all with a lot of people aroud me. I feel like the world is messed up. I am at college and what everybody wants is partying, drinking alcohol and so on ... But I really those activities unfullfilling at all. If I go to a party, I really feel like I am forcing myself to look happy.
Anyway in my reboot journey, i realised that everything is black and white. If I did something only for getting pleasure, I lost a battle. This could be just eating a berry when i didn't intent to, or watching my phone when i expect someone to text me back. But the worst of all is gazing women in streets or thinking of body parts. It's ok if get the impulse to seak pleasure, it just means i am still addicted in some way. But i am wrong when i am indulging in those activites, because i can control myself. I know it but my addiction tricks me and i find excuses.
 
i went to a party this evening. I am happy that i left before it's too late. I can feel the pain of leaving because i think : "Oh i might miss something important". It's normal. Today i realised again that my eyes are pulled towards zzzzz.
P is a only a button for a dopamine peak
 
Today I noticed how bad this addiction is rooted in my mind. When there is a beautiful woman in the same space as me. Although i am not watching her or thinking of her. I can feel how bad I am conscious of her presence compared to men.
 
I have had a real bad day. I have thought of using the dopamine button but i didn't, we can't let external elements dictate our whole life.
 
I feel really better than yesterday. Didn't go to school, spent a lot of time programming. While surfing on the web I saw ads with barely clothed women. I felt pleasure for a moment, I decide to leave instantly the site, although the site was full of helpful information.
 

Kid Gohan

Active Member
I feel really better than yesterday. Didn't go to school, spent a lot of time programming. While surfing on the web I saw ads with barely clothed women. I felt pleasure for a moment, I decide to leave instantly the site, although the site was full of helpful information.
Doing well bro, what language are you coding with at the moment?
Not sure what browser you're using but try using some sort of ad block. Spending most of our time coding and doing research we're highly likely to come across ads that tempt us, remove that and you have one less problem.
 
I code in C#. I create a game on Unity for a projet at school. Indeed, while programming I spend a lot of time doing research. Thanks for your tip, i will install an adblocker right now. What's your language you code with ?
 

Kid Gohan

Active Member
I code in C#. I create a game on Unity for a projet at school. Indeed, while programming I spend a lot of time doing research. Thanks for your tip, i will install an adblocker right now. What's your language you code with ?
Thats dope, I hear its quite a broad language. I'm using JS at the moment before going to React and other libraries and frameworks.
All the best with your game and progress in your journey!!
 
I am learning a bit JS too ! Thanks for your motivation
I have been busy programming since Sunday. It feels good to be motivated towards something else than P or video games.
2 hours ago, i did something that i thought impossible for me to do. I did a survey, meaning i had to go meet people, having to catch their attention etc ..
Even if positive things happen i need to remind me that the addiction is still here, hiding and waiting the good moment to hijack my dopamine system. I must stay aware of the attraction towards easy pleasure. It's always easier to give up our responsibilities than to embrace them and do what we need to do. But the real truth, is that leaving our responsibilities means letting other things control us, dictate our behaviour. And at the end, we don't live anymore, we don't have what we want, we are overwhelmed by stress.
It's funny how easy pleasure and stress are both opposite and similar. Anxiety/stress is the indicator of when and on what we should act to increase our well being. Whereas seeking pleasure often leads to a miserable life and is unnecessary. We feel empty or exhaust after indulging in p. But in the meantime when we don't listen to our anxiety and stress and conceal it by getting numb with high dopamine rush, we are more likely to feel more and more anxious. Because you can lie to yourselves but only shallowly. Even if you tell yourself: "oh it's ok it will be the last time", you know that's not the truth. And I think that self conceit is the main reason for feeling anxious.
I am not done yet. It has been approximatly 20 days. It's not even 1% of the time numbing my brain. I have to stay aware that i will always be addicted in some ways. Because our brain is made like that. Companies will always try to hack our reward circuit . Do we want to be the product or to create products?
 

Kid Gohan

Active Member
Completely agree with "It's always easier to give up our responsibilities than to embrace them and do what we need to do. But the real truth, is that leaving our responsibilities means letting other things control us, dictate our behavior."
Life is difficult, being disciplined is difficult and not being disciplined is difficult, they both have their pros and cons, which difficulty are we going to choose to get to where we want to be?
One controls us, the other allows us to be in control
 
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