How do I avoid getting to the point where I have to fight temptation?

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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
What has helped me since the beginning of the year is avoiding to engage/pay attention to the porn thoughts. Avoiding to imagine porn, play porn in my head, avoiding to develop porn related fantasies, avoiding to listen to the thoughts to do something porn related. Stopping the porn dopamine as early as possible has been a great help. As soon as those porn thoughts enter my mind, I "look away", I don't start "starring" at those porn images or listening to the thoughts, as quickly as possible. I focus on something else, imagining myself doing something, playing chess or whatever, anything to help me replace the porn thoughts with other thoughts. It's made a big difference so far. Also, after some days I started feeling better and I focus on this too, I remind myself that I don't want to lose this.
 
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reboot_8716

Member
Escapeandnevercomeback said:
What has helped me since the beginning of the year is avoiding to engage/pay attention to the porn thoughts. Avoiding to imagine porn, play porn in my head, avoiding to develop porn related fantasies, avoiding to listen to the thoughts to do something porn related. Stopping the porn dopamine as early as possible has been a great help. As soon as those porn thoughts enter my mind, I "look away", I don't start "starring" at those porn images or listening to the thoughts, as quickly as possible. I focus on something else, imagining myself doing something, playing chess or whatever, anything to help me replace the porn thoughts with other thoughts. It's made a big difference so far. Also, after some days I started feeling better and I focus on this too, I remind myself that I don't want to lose this.
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Definitely agree and generally occupying your mind with something engaging is a good strategy. If I’m sitting watching tv it’s pretty easy for my mind to wander, but if I play my guitar I’m completely focused on the music and there’s simply no space in my brain to fantasize about sex or think about porn.
 
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logicprox

Well-Known Member
I think to really kick this you need to identify your triggers. Specific situations, activities (including potentially the lack of activities) and emotions that lead to urges coming up. The human brain is like 90% (% made up, but conceptually) just an"if x then y" routine machine. The best way to break the habit is to remove the trigger that leads down that routine in the mind.

Also +1 on avoiding all fantasy. That never ends well. Whenever I feel like engaging in fantasy, I remind myself no matter how much I imagine a girl with me...she ain't here. So what's the point? Use that time for thought to plan out real life goals and ambitions.

That leads to one more big thing. You've got to replace it with something. If you don't have a lot of hobbies, get some that make you feel good. If you have them, commit to giving them your all rather than letting them be casual. Porn has been wasting your drive and consequently your life. Think of how much you could accomplish in those things if you put your PMO time towards working on those.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
logicprox said:
I think to really kick this you need to identify your triggers. Specific situations, activities (including potentially the lack of activities) and emotions that lead to urges coming up. The human brain is like 90% (% made up, but conceptually) just an"if x then y" routine machine. The best way to break the habit is to remove the trigger that leads down that routine in the mind.

Also +1 on avoiding all fantasy. That never ends well. Whenever I feel like engaging in fantasy, I remind myself no matter how much I imagine a girl with me...she ain't here. So what's the point? Use that time for thought to plan out real life goals and ambitions.

That leads to one more big thing. You've got to replace it with something. If you don't have a lot of hobbies, get some that make you feel good. If you have them, commit to giving them your all rather than letting them be casual. Porn has been wasting your drive and consequently your life. Think of how much you could accomplish in those things if you put your PMO time towards working on those.
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Solid advice, bro. Key concepts of rebooting.
 
jberg

jberg

Active Member
Danilo and others on this thread, your postings are a confirmation that I'm on the right path. I'm on my 3rd reboot and the last few days wondering how to avoid relapsing. I concluded that 2 things were essential: I must stay connected and be of service. Stay connected to my wife, my children, my brothers struggling with this issue (not to mention my higher power). And be of service to my wife, my children, and my brothers struggling with this issue. In my morning meditation it came to me that to stay connected and be of service here I would do 2 things: read and comment on one new post every day, and add an entry in my main forum thread at least once a week. So I logged in and this is the first thread I see, "How do I avoid getting to the point where I have to fight temptation," exactly the question I am trying to answer for myself! Thank you all for sharing your experience. I don't know if this is going to work, but I am committed to it today. I've learned a long time ago that simply not using porn, not staring, not having euphoric recall, not getting angry, not, not, not---was not sustainable. After saying 'no' to the false substitutes, I must say 'Yes' to the positive real connections which are satisfying and fulfilling my deepest desires. But I have to do it every day.
 
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