that is, how do you make sure you win the battle before you fight?
By keeping the porn dopamine to the minimum. How does your relapse start? In my case, it starts by engaging with the porn in my head (the fantasies and flashbacks). I keep my porn dopamine to the minimum by avoiding to engage with the porn in my head as soon as possible. If I start "playing porn in my head", the dopamine gets wild, the more it lasts the more I'm pushed toward "more", and more means watching. Now, can you identify how your relapse starts? Avoiding to engage with that is a start.that is, how do you make sure you win the battle before you fight?
Yes, that's right. Avoiding to engage with the fantasies and the excitement is a start. The key here is to stop the dopamine as early as possible, at the first thing that happens by avoiding to engage with it, to give it attention. I know it's not always easy but we have the right to try. I've made an effort since the beginning of the year to avoid engaging with the porn flashbacks and fantasies that use to lead me to watching porn and it worked really well.Same here, it's the fantasies, and excitement created in my mind that leads me to acting out. For myself. It starts out slowly, then intensifies as a couple of days go by.
I've failed many times, but I find that staying in the moment definitely helps. I mean by being active in this group, posting and replying to others- make it a priority.
I'm here today. Because the Dopamine in my head is raging, and I'm not going to engage today.
Sharing and engaging keeps the crap out of your head. It's amazing what your mind will tell itself to get it's drug. Porn is our most addictive substance, more addictive than Herion.