On day6 of no porn


So I am having major with drawls of not watching porn. I blocked everything containing porn on my computer and no longer have access to it. I feel my mind changing and becoming more calm. I didn't think porn was a big deal since I was masturbating everyday for 10 years since I was 15. I had my first steady girlfriend for two years and our sexual experiences were very bad. I could get it up for her and that's about it. Even when I went into her vagina my penis when down immediately after that. I thought i had cum but i didn't. I had to lie the 9 times i had sex with her and it was horrible every time. She got tired of trying to make me happy and i didn't know what was wrong. She was very abusive towards me too before we had sex but i thought that would change after. However it didn't and i think porn was defiantly a factor in it. 

I formed bad habits after the breakup and started smoking weed. I am a month onto being clean and making my life better. I am currently finishing my bachelors degree and am applying to work in the industry that I want to work in. I am also very happy every day and have cut my friends who still smoke weed and do bad habits. I do drink but only once or twice a month and on the weekends. I don't over drink because I know my limits. I am defiantly seeing a change in my mood and I am happy to go do my own thing and live my life. I do not worry as much as i used to about what others are doing and think of me. I live in my moms apartment and am slowly building my career.

Counseling didn't help and I think cutting the porn is helping me tremendously. I tried to quit before but only lasted 3 days so I am doing better. I hope I don't relapse again like last time but i was also talking to very negative people. Now that I am trying to put positive people in my life, I hope I can last longer then 6 days. Last Wednesday was the last day I looked at porn.