Hard Path with No Destination

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vegasguy

Member
I'm so with you, porn is more addictive than any drug. I've read that porn to our subconscious mind is just a way for us to procreate- which were hard wired to do. Pretty hard to go against that.

Porn today, it's availability isn't helping, creating these pathways and connections in our brains that make it even harder.
The 8 items you listed is exactly myself. I present myself well to others, ( so I think) but inside there's this emptiness I can't quite shake.

What's helped me lately is being in this forum , being open about my issues, and Journaling- keeping the crap out of our minds.
 
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logicprox

Well-Known Member
I might be extreme, but to be honest, I think it applies to most people. They just don't know it.

I cut out almost all TV and movies. I watch less than an hour a week, usually much less. I don't miss it. TV and movies are supernormal stimuli just like porn, that hijack your dopamine reward center. Our brains were not meant for that endless novelty, and the cliffhangers that create the desire to know what comes next.

Just like porn, TV and movies don't make us happy. It's an illusion. The dopamine draws us to them, because dopamine is for motivation and drive to do things. But dopamine doesn't make us happy. Serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins do. We get those from physical activity, social interaction with real people (not social media), and accomplishing our goals. TV and movies do none of that. I do make SOME exception for watching things with people, due to the social element. But even that I don't want to go overboard and watch hours of it.

In my opinion, porn isn't actually the enemy. It's the enemy's greatest weapon. Excessive dopamine hijacking our reward centers and leading us to seek bullshit that gives us dopamine but doesn't move life forward is the enemy. Porn just happens to be the most powerful element of that, so it has to be cut out. But TV, movies, internet browsing for no purpose, and social media activate the same brain pathways and cause the same problems just to a lesser extent.

Perhaps you worry about not being normal, or being able to talk about TV and movies with people. Do you want to be normal? Or you do you want to be exceptional? If people can't talk about anything besides TV and movies they are boring people.

Sorry if I sound like a crazy person on that last part lol, just finished Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins. Feeling done with "normal" lives.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
logicprox said:
I might be extreme, but to be honest, I think it applies to most people. They just don't know it.

I cut out almost all TV and movies. I watch less than an hour a week, usually much less. I don't miss it. TV and movies are supernormal stimuli just like porn, that hijack your dopamine reward center. Our brains were not meant for that endless novelty, and the cliffhangers that create the desire to know what comes next.

Just like porn, TV and movies don't make us happy. It's an illusion. The dopamine draws us to them, because dopamine is for motivation and drive to do things. But dopamine doesn't make us happy. Serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins do. We get those from physical activity, social interaction with real people (not social media), and accomplishing our goals. TV and movies do none of that. I do make SOME exception for watching things with people, due to the social element. But even that I don't want to go overboard and watch hours of it.

In my opinion, porn isn't actually the enemy. Excessive dopamine hijacking our reward centers and leading us to seek bullshit that gives us dopamine but doesn't move life forward is the enemy. Porn just happens to be the most powerful element of that, so it has to be cut out. But TV, movies, internet browsing for no purpose, and social media activate the same brain pathways and cause the same problems just to a lesser extent.

Perhaps you worry about not being normal, or being able to talk about TV and movies with people. Do you want to be normal? Or you do you want to be exceptional? If people can't talk about anything besides TV and movies they are boring people.

Sorry if I sound like a crazy person on that last part lol, just finished Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins. Feeling done with "normal" lives.
Click to expand...
David Goggins, yeah! The guy can change your life.
 
particularly_respecting

particularly_respecting

Active Member
Day 48 - amazing! That's a major achievement and inspiration!

I relate a lot to what you've written. Aimless surfing on the internet and procrastination have been (and still are) huge triggers for me.
Reddit in particular has been an unhealthy way of wasting time for me.
I do think they're linked too - obviously porn is more potent but they both tap into that novelty-seeking dopamine-fiend part of the brain.
We are drowning ourselves in dopamine and at the same time reducing our sensitivity to normal stimuli
(natural sexual activity, reading a book, going out for a walk, etc.)

I agree about building better habits too
Not sure if this is at all insightful, but for me personally, I always find it's best to keep our goals manageable
E.g. instead of saying "I will go to the gym and lift weights every day this month" you can start by saying "I will do 10 pushups a day"
Then gradually ramp it up

I am writing here like a know-it-all, but these are the same things I am struggling with myself
Just trying to give some advice from a brother on a similar journey :)
 
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Deleted member 27008

Guest
Restless Mystic said:
Day 48:

Pushing a hard phase of my life. Couldn't convert all the energy into positives. Maybe, porn wasn't the only problem in my life. Mental fog has been cleared. I think that's a good sign. After one wet dream, having huge urge(I couldn't phrase it exactly, it's more than just urge... burning desire, ur mind saying just go do it , just do watch something like my life depends on it). Though i stopped watching P completely, i don't see anything changed.

What i want to become :-
1. Confident
2. Physically fit
3. Lazyless
4. To work more.


But, personally i feel other things being the same since P cessation. I can't redirect this energy into what i want to have. I welcome insights n inputs.
Click to expand...
48 days is a great series. congratulations. I hope it turns into an endless series where you stop counting the days. I have something to ask. In what days did your memory and concentration improve?
What day was the wet dream prediction and did it delay your period?
 
downhillfromhere

downhillfromhere

Well-Known Member
115 days is huge! You’re doing well, don’t doubt that. Things go better some days, and then the next day you feel like things have become worse again.

I have been feeling it myself, about 2 months in now, and some days are really rough. A couple of weeks after giving up P I was feeling terrific. Thinking more clearly, more sociable, more confident and assertive. Now, the past days and weeks I’ve been feeling worse again, and really struggling with talking to people, especially women. It makes me think nothing is working, but I know I have to just keep going, because it’s no use going back to how things were.

Then I remember that things will be going up and down. I’ve been addicted to porn for half my life, it’s not going to be fixed after a couple of months. So that’s my comfort, I hope it can be of some help to you as well.

We have to believe that with time, things will generally get better and better even if we have bad days or weeks.
 
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particularly_respecting

particularly_respecting

Active Member
Amazing work getting to 154 days Restless Mystic!
Sounds tough about your friend, but sometimes it's just time to call these things - you gotta do what's right for you brother
Probably both learning AND healing
Stay strong! 💪
 
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