Finally, I'm doing this…

Ezel

Active Member
Day 40, no po, no mo (monk mode).

So far so good, feeling great today. I woke up early and did my prayers, my workouts, and a bit of reading also. Although I get urges and fantasies from time to time, I try my best to stay focused and not be tempted by them.

Speaking of urges, yesterday was a little different cuz I had porn flashbacks, the strongest I ever had in this 40 days streak. While they were in my head I can feel my body start to fall into a relapse mode (heavy breathing, pounding heart, erected penis…). Thank god I didn't give in to it, and snapped out of it immediately.

Maybe the strength those urges had was because two days ago on the way back home while i was waiting in a tram station for the next tram to come, the station was packed with people since it’s the hour everyone gets out from work. The majority of those people were women in skirts, work uniforms, and t-shirts since it’s summertime. Anyway, they all showed a bit of skin, and my chimp brain was dying to see that.

I’m still on monk mode, but sometimes it gets really challenging. I’m not going to lie in a moment of weakness. I peeked at those women's parts, not for too long but still, i shouldn't have done it.

Actually, after those glances, I didn't get anything from it except shame and guilt and haunting urges inside my brain. It’s crazy what a sneak peek can do and lead to, but lucky me i didn't go down the porn path, and instead ignored and managed those urges til they vanished away on their own.

I may look like I’m not handling monk mode as i should, but at least i’m giving it my best, and i won’t allow what happened to discourage me and switch to another mode like hard mode. Cuz i already did it in my last streak where i was going monk mode and after a while got tired of it and switched to hard mode where i can look at women but still no porn and no masturbation. And you know where that got me, back to porn land.

That’s why i will do whatever it takes to stick to monk mode because that’s the way out for me.

This sounds too extreme, after all a man has to release and have sex with a woman. But that can't be done, at least until i get married…

And it will be a hell of a journey till I get there, with time I will know how that would turn out…

Until then, stay hard and be strong everyone.

Peace.

Ezel.
 

JuneJuly

Member
I was inspired by your posts to finally start ezel!

day 1 and like 12 hours in haha. im aiming for 14 days as a starting point as dont think I ever went past 5-6 days in my life
 

Ezel

Active Member
Welcome Junejuly, congratulations 👏 on your first day, i hope you will get through it.

If you really want to quit, and you put in the work then what you seek shall come true.

I would recommend to read the book by Gary Wilson your brain on porn, it's our holy book, it will get you up and running.

Be strong and keep pushing...

All the best 😁😁.
 

Ezel

Active Member
Day 41, no po, no mo (monk mode).

Feeling great today, as always after I wake up, I do my workouts, do my prayers, and Read a book. I had some porn thoughts just an hour ago, some porn flashbacks came back to haunt me down, I just ignored them even though they were more overwhelming than usual.

This means it’s going to be tougher from now on, but rest assured I’m not going to let my guard down. I’m going to keep pushing as hard as possible and keep sticking to monk mode as long as I can.

I hope I will be up for the task, be strong everyone and stay hard.

Peace.

Ezel.
 
Top