Finally, I'm doing this…

[Phineas 808]

I know how it goes for me excluding MO from my life, especially with spiritual/moral considerations, but also because I see MO as part of the whole P, PMO addiction. In fact, I kind of define P/MO as an elaboration on MO anyway....

But I do also understand the importance of keeping going, and not allowing a slip to become a lapse, or a lapse to become a relapse. In that regard, when I've fallen to MO (usually due to edging and p-subs), I end up having to set two counters...

Bottom line: don't compromise on your 'red-lines', whatever they are for you. At the same time, know what is a win, a small victory- even in the face of defeat or disappointment. But most important of all, never ever give up and always get up!

Finally, I like how Blondie's thinking about it: "...true, I might have lapsed- but in 160 days I've only lapsed 2x!" That gives us that bigger picture, so important for perspective.

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

I know how it goes for me excluding MO from my life, especially with spiritual/moral considerations, but also because I see MO as part of the whole P, PMO addiction. In fact, I kind of define P/MO as an elaboration on MO anyway....

But I do also understand the importance of keeping going, and not allowing a slip to become a lapse, or a lapse to become a relapse. In that regard, when I've fallen to MO (usually due to edging and p-subs), I end up having to set two counters...

Bottom line: don't compromise on your 'red-lines', whatever they are for you. At the same time, know what is a win, a small victory- even in the face of defeat or disappointment. But most important of all, never ever give up and always get up!

Finally, I like how Blondie's thinking about it: "...true, I might have lapsed- but in 160 days I've only lapsed 2x!" That gives us that bigger picture, so important for perspective.

When it comes to MO, I think it's a matter of: Is it detrimental to me or not? Some people find that they might benefit from staying away from MO too because it sends them into flatlines etc. I can definitely feel the difference in how I feel between MO-ing and going a longer period without it. But I'm talking about MO without thinking about porn. Thinking about porn while doing it is basically a variation of PMO, it goes against how this porn addiction works which is a dopamine release as a reaction to porn and porn is not only visual, it's imagined too. I strongly advice against giving attention to porn thoughts and porn flashbacks with or without masturbation. Porn addiction can be starved to death but it can't be starved to death if we feed it even a little. Also, many people go right back to porn by messing with MO, I'm one of them. I could start MO-ing, telling myself this has nothing to do with porn, I'm not thinking about porn but I eventually move to imagining porn because I need more stimulation, MO can't stimulate me like porn because it's actually porn I crave, and from imagining porn there is a small step until actually watching it. I've relapsed like this a few times already.

Avoiding "black and white" mentality is very important. Unfortunately, still hard to implement by me, I'm still working on it. In my head, 1 PMO in a month fucks up everything but it's actually only 1 PMO in 30 days! I understand how it goes but...

 

[Blondie]

Yeah this whole masturbation thing is complicated and is something I've thought about a lot over these last months. Since I'm having sex during my reboot, it's something I DON'T have to think about, however, because of this, I've thought a lot about it!

I know for sure if I wasn't in a relationship right now, you couldn't pay me to touch my dick and I would go as long as possible without having to MO. In fact, In the heat of the moment I would probably ask my mates to tie me to the mast like Aeneas while the sirens called out to me! The funny thing is, even just the thought of masturbating without porn seems so foreign to me (if I'm being honest) it would probably be very hard to accomplish without going "all the way", thus, the complication of the subject!

And like I said to you Ezel, I find it hard to think a rational God would look upon masturbating as evil as looking at the filth that is porn. If there is a God, he would have to be rational and just. Further, just as our own systems of laws and constitutions see a difference between striking a man and killing a man. A rational God would have to do the same between something that is somewhat natural, and something that is an abomination. You don't get charged the same for striking a man as you do for killing a man - these crimes are simply not equal. Thus, to masturbate in the eyes of God might not be great, but it can't be as bad as going all the way and "killing a man" per se. Thus, the gist of my argument, in the heat of the moment, masturbating would be preferable to going all the way to PMO. But that's just my two cents.

Personally, I don't see masturbating as sinful or even close to the societal nonsense that is porn. But, if anyone else does, I can sincerely respect that and have no problems with it. However, I do think most everyone here has conflated the two so much (looking at me!), that it can be very hard to not think of them as one and the same, which creates the dilemma "Should we or should we not?"

Which is why it's imperative for us to figure out spiritually and realistically what we can and cannot do while we're NOT in the heat of the moment.

If you don't know what road you're searching for, you will inevitably slip and drive right past it!

Keep killing it man, and do what you think is right.

 

[TryingHarder]

Good work, Ezel. Looks like you forgot to burn one boat last week but you're back to going all in and no plan B. I wish you peace and strength!

 

[Phineas 808]

I find it hard to think a rational God would look upon masturbating as evil as looking at the filth that is porn. If there is a God, he would have to be rational and just. Further, just as our own systems of laws and constitutions see a difference between striking a man and killing a man. A rational God would have to do the same between something that is somewhat natural, and something that is an abomination. You don't get charged the same for striking a man as you do for killing a man - these crimes are simply not equal. Thus, to masturbate in the eyes of God might not be great, but it can't be as bad as going all the way and "killing a man" per se. Thus, the gist of my argument, in the heat of the moment, masturbating would be preferable to going all the way to PMO. But that's just my two cents.

Personally, I don't see masturbating as sinful or even close to the societal nonsense that is porn. But, if anyone else does, I can sincerely respect that and have no problems with it. However, I do think most everyone here has conflated the two so much (looking at me!), that it can be very hard to not think of them as one and the same, which creates the dilemma "Should we or should we not?"

I agree with this, and it's an important distinction to make.

I understand the thinking- which we can say is 'black-and-white', or we can just say, I want to be perfect, do it perfectly, be wholly pleasing (to ourselves or to God). An example: last week I found a hair in a refrigerated glass of milk, which is supposed to be pure and white. So, I threw it out. We can compare that to MO (bare with me, lol....). But the milk is still 'good', it's not spoiled. What if we found the milk was spoiled (PMO), then we should DEFINITELY start with a fresh glass (day 0). But if it was just a hair 'defiling it', then we could- if we want to- flick out the hair and drink the milk. A matter of preference and personal conviction at this point.

Definitely, Blondie! God is a God of fairness and reason. He's higher than man's reason, but He won't be less than our reason, and He certainly wouldn't be unreasonable.

Many say the opposite foolishly, but all sins are NOT equal. True, in God's eyes, one sin breaks the whole law (Torah or Shariah), as to the spirit of the law. But God will not judge someone who stole a pair of sneakers to the same degree as those who abuse children, or murderers.

Some talk about masturbating mindfully, without fantasy or any outward pictures, etc... Just for the sensation in the moment. I think I've even done this, and while I mark it, I certainly don't treat it like PMO, or as if I saw P. Same thing if I have a wet dream, I wouldn't even sweat it. Or, if I accidentally (without searching for it) saw nudity on T.V. (happened last night, lol..!), I wouldn't say I even saw P, not intentionally.

So it's not always "one or the other", pass or fail. Sometimes there is some grey area that we have to work out- and I'll always go for the win.

 

[Ezel]

day 6, no po, no mo (monk mode).

 

[downhillfromhere]

Already on a roll, Ezel!

 

[Ezel]

day 7, no po, no mo (monk mode).

 

[Blondie]

Killing it Ezel!

 

[Phineas 808]

Realize this, Ezel, that with each day of monk mode, or abstinence, you're building new habits while breaking down the old habits. So, you're doing this, brother, you're changing yourself for the better!

 

[Ezel]

day 8, no po, no mo (monk mode).

Yesterday was different. Actually, it was a bit tough.

No one was at home, I was home alone, and you all know what that means.

Urges were coming at me, left and right. At that moment I imagined myself going back to pornland. And what made it worse was my phone that was in my hand.

With no purpose to accomplish and no task to do yesterday, my brain was like “ hey man, let’s go check out those yt videos, it will help with the boredness you are feeling right now. You will feel much better ”. And I was like HELL NAW.

Fool me once it’s on you, fool me twice it’s on me.

Thank god I didn't go down that dirty hole again, even though my brain was thirsty for a shot of dopamine, it could really use it. But guess what I’m still here, it didn’t get his dose, did i die or something like that, well no. and that’s the point from all of this. Sometimes when you go through withdrawal symptoms, your brain makes it look like if you don’t give it what it wants that you will not survive.

You just have to be mindful of what’s going on inside your brain and know the tricks it might use against you.

There is no amount of porn in the world that will satisfy your brain, the more you give it the more it will want more. That’s why it’s an addiction. And that’s the foundation of every addiction there is out there.

More and more. As far as I know if you overdose using hard drugs you will get yourself killed, I don’t think it’s the same way with porn, but a heavy porn user has no normal life (no social life, his brain is fucked up, no purpose…) and that's to me is death itself, you can look at him and see that he’s alive biologically but inside he’s a dead man.

He's a zombie, and that’s not a life worth living.

Don’t be that guy, porn is destroying lives, and it isn’t worth it man. Keep your distance, you will not get anything beneficial from it, it just takes from you. It’s like selling your soul to the devil, after the deal is done you will realize the big mistake you have made, and you try to get your soul back, but is it too late??

Well good news, there is still time if you want to get yourself on the right track. It starts with you, no one can help you if you can’t help yourself, your choice…

Stay away, stay safe, and keep pushing on guys..

Peace.

Ezel.

 

[Blondie]

Nice job Ezel!

I love how you fought the good fight and said no to the enemy.

More and more. As far as I know if you overdose using hard drugs you will get yourself killed, I don’t think it’s the same way with porn, but a heavy porn user has no normal life (no social life, his brain is fucked up, no purpose…) and that's to me is death itself, you can look at him and see that he’s alive biologically but inside he’s a dead man.

I really like this - it's beautiful!

I completely agree. I'd rather be dead than sitting around like a porn-zombie waiting for one last bite!

Thanks for the inspiration king.

Best

“Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once” - Julius Caesar

 

[Ezel]

day 9, no po, no mo (monk mode).

 

[Blondie]

That a boy Ezel!

 

[Ezel]

day 10, no po, no mo (monk mode).

Still hanging in there, even though the urges are getting stronger…

Every type of urges are going through my mind as I'm writing this (porn flashbacks, yt videos, real women i work with…), that’s why i’m writing this in the first place to kind of release those thoughts into this post…

Only god knows what I’m going through.

So yeah life is good, lol

Already 10 days into this reboot, time flies by so fast, and it’s only getting harder. Sometimes urges makes it look like I'm missing out on porn’s new content and all the novelty that it offers, but I know how this works, fool me once…

No pain no gain.

The cure for pain is in the pain.
Rumi.

Peace.

Ezel.

 

[downhillfromhere]

Great job Ezel! You’re not missing out. Only by engaging with P will you be missing out on life!

 

[Ezel]

day 11, no po.
day 0, no mo.

yesterday, the urges were freaking strong, I almost could have relapsed, but Instead, i masturbated (without porn of course).

it's better this way that to go back to porn land.

peace.

Ezel.

 

[Recovery Will Come]

Back on track!! Keep going bro!! Always commend the courageous of bouncing back.. The hardest thing to do IMO… God Bless

 

[Blondie]

Nice job Ezel working through those urges!

Do you think the urges are stronger this time around than your last streak?

It's funny how that works sometimes. Not funny, but you get my drift.

Best brother

 

[Ezel]

yes definitely, usually my first month into the reboot will be the easiest one, but going through this current streak, I get the urges of the third month in advance, if you know what I mean...