Finally, I'm doing this…

Ezel

Active Member
day 12, no po.
day 1 no mo.

after I masturbated yesterday, i thought that the urges will go away, but I was wrong.

they came back way stronger, to the extent I couldn't sleep until after an hour of laying out on my bed, battling urges, and saying to myself should I do it or not(relapse)...

but I didn't, thank god. i pulled it off. stay hard everyone. no one said this is going to be easy...

peace.

Ezel.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Way to stay a warrior Ezel.

It will die down, you're just going to have to fight through it.

Hang in there!

👍 👍
 

Ezel

Active Member
Day 1, no po, no mo (monk mode).

Yeah, you read that right, I relapsed yesterday. After I masturbated earlier that day, to shut the urges down. But the complete opposite happened, the urges were so overwhelming, that I couldn't stop till I found myself again in porn land, and the rest was history…

Apparently, this plan of masturbating to relieve the stress and to let the urges go away doesn’t work for me, this is the shortest streak I ever pulled off…

Masturbation wasn’t the only reason for this relapse, I must admit that I was sloppy with many things, like youtube for example. It will always be the beginning of the end of my streak… in other words, i have to go monk mode again, because for me a sneak peek or a look is a poisonous arrow that will put my work in vain sooner or later…

And like Thomas Addison said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.".

Peace.

Ezel.
 

downhillfromhere

Active Member
You are doing well! The way you’re reflecting on what caused the relapse and your ideas about what will help you go further shows that you are progressing. The count, the number doesn’t really matter as long as you’re continuing on. 👊
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Hey Ezel, sorry to hear about this brother.

I feel my advice I gave you was bad, that masturbation could possibly work in a time of desperation. However, it's also good to know what works and what doesn't, so you can move forward with that knowledge.

Great job getting back up and not binging. That's impressive.

Keep going man!
 

Ezel

Active Member
Day 2, no po, no mo (monk mode).

thanks @Blondie ,@Phineas 808 and @downhillfromhere for your kind words.

I feel my advice I gave you was bad, that masturbation could possibly work in a time of desperation
no, not at all, your advice is good man, it's just that my brain still relates masturbation to porn, no wonder since 95% of the time I masturbated was done with porn. maybe one day who knows, I will take your advice into consideration, but now I prefer to reboot the good old fashion, no porn no masturbation to erase those porn neuro-pathways inside my brain.

thanks blondie for your support, keep killing it as always...

peace.

Ezel.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Thanks Ezel.

I definitely understand what you're saying here. Even though I don't need to masturbate these days, if I ever needed to, I do wonder if I could even do it without porn. Honestly, I can't even recall the last time I masturbated to just fantasy alone - early 20s probably if not earlier. So yes, I would be very cautious to start down that path again.

but now I prefer to reboot the good old fashion, no porn no masturbation to erase those porn neuro-pathways inside my brain.
I love it!

Keep killing it man

Best
 

Ezel

Active Member
Day 5, no po, no mo (monk mode).

so far so good, i'm still in the flatline phase, no libido no urges, and no motivation either, but it's okay I know this shall pass, the important thing is to never give up like my man frank sinatra said in his song ''that's life" so here it is...

That's life
(That's life)
That's what all the people say
You're riding high in April, shot down in May
But I know I'm gonna change that tune
When I'm back on top, back on top in June

I said that's life
(That's life)
And as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks
Stomping on a dream
But I don't let it, let it get me down
Cause this fine old world, it keeps spinnin' around

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet
A pawn and a king
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing
Each time I find myself
Flat on my face
I pick myself up and get
Back in the race

That's life
(That's life)
I tell you, I can't deny it
I thought of quitting, baby
But my heart just ain't gonna buy it
And if I didn't think it was worth one single try
I'd jump right on a big bird and then I'd fly

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet
A pawn and a king
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing
Each time I find myself layin'
Flat on my face
I just pick myself up and get
Back in the race

That's life
(That's life)
That's life and I can't deny it
Many times I thought of cutting out but my heart won't buy it
But if there's nothing shaking come this here July
I'm gonna roll myself up
In a big ball and die
My, my
 

Skittelz

Member
Day 5, no po, no mo (monk mode).

so far so good, i'm still in the flatline phase, no libido no urges, and no motivation either, but it's okay I know this shall pass, the important thing is to never give up like my man frank sinatra said in his song ''that's life" so here it is...

That's life
(That's life)
That's what all the people say
You're riding high in April, shot down in May
But I know I'm gonna change that tune
When I'm back on top, back on top in June

I said that's life
(That's life)
And as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks
Stomping on a dream
But I don't let it, let it get me down
Cause this fine old world, it keeps spinnin' around

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet
A pawn and a king
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing
Each time I find myself
Flat on my face
I pick myself up and get
Back in the race

That's life
(That's life)
I tell you, I can't deny it
I thought of quitting, baby
But my heart just ain't gonna buy it
And if I didn't think it was worth one single try
I'd jump right on a big bird and then I'd fly

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet
A pawn and a king
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing
Each time I find myself layin'
Flat on my face
I just pick myself up and get
Back in the race

That's life
(That's life)
That's life and I can't deny it
Many times I thought of cutting out but my heart won't buy it
But if there's nothing shaking come this here July
I'm gonna roll myself up
In a big ball and die
My, my
You're doing great man. Good attitude
 
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