Day 109/200, no po, no mo (monk mode).
. I'm delighted to hear that, I can tell that you are a good man with a good heart, bless you my man.
Yesterday I fasted like i always do, it was a 14h of no food or water in my system, but the urges were all over my head, lucky me i kept myself busy while those urges were showing their ugly heads, at the time i was in college with all the beautiful girls walking around the campus, which makes it harder for me, but it is what it is, i just have to deal with it and lower my gaze, which is a lot harder than it looks, at this time i can pull it off 7 or maybe 8 times out of 10, which is way better than i ever did in the past when i was a heavy porn user.
Even if I did get tempted to relapse I can't do it because by doing that I will break my fasting which is supposed to be broken when the sun sets not before, relapsing while fasting is a huge deal for me, and I could never let it happen.
Last night I came back very tired and slept like a baby. I didn’t even hold my phone. I'm glad I didn't, cuz with those crazy urges running around my head you could never know what can happen. But when i woke up this morning at 6 am, a full morning glory was sleeping next to me, i kept laying down looking at the ceiling with that morning wood for 15 minutes, and urges about a thick woman i used to work with started to show up, i have a thing for thick curvy woman, i don’t know, but back in the day, i get attracted to women with hourglass body shapes from a distance without even seeing their faces. IMO I think it’s a biological thing, maybe it’s just me I don't know but these types of women are vibrating with femininity and are more fertile. This is just me, I don't want anyone to get offended by this, it’s just my type.
After those 15 minutes i got up to the bathroom and the morning wood started to fade away, thank god i didn’t act on those urges while i was lying down cuz i fantasized about that girl from work, i really like her. yes i do. Even though we don’t work together anymore, but i have her number, and we texted each other before. Maybe one day when i get my shit together and get rid of this pmo addiction, i will give it a shot, fingers crossed.