Finally, I'm doing this…

Blondie

Respected Member
Keep staying the course brother.

Remember, we've all played with fire before, so don't be too hard on yourself. Just grab that fiery torch and head over to the boats. :cool: 🔥🔥

Best brother!
 

GBS

Well-Known Member
Such an inspiration. I look at your (sometimes relatively short) posts every day, and every day they directly increase my resolve. I just really want you to know that whilst you’re doing this for yourself you are vicariously increasing the chances of others reaching their goals too. No pressure…..I mean it. Just reality.
 

Ezel

Well-Known Member
Day 109/200, no po, no mo (monk mode).

Thanks @GBS. I'm delighted to hear that, I can tell that you are a good man with a good heart, bless you my man.

Yesterday I fasted like i always do, it was a 14h of no food or water in my system, but the urges were all over my head, lucky me i kept myself busy while those urges were showing their ugly heads, at the time i was in college with all the beautiful girls walking around the campus, which makes it harder for me, but it is what it is, i just have to deal with it and lower my gaze, which is a lot harder than it looks, at this time i can pull it off 7 or maybe 8 times out of 10, which is way better than i ever did in the past when i was a heavy porn user.

Even if I did get tempted to relapse I can't do it because by doing that I will break my fasting which is supposed to be broken when the sun sets not before, relapsing while fasting is a huge deal for me, and I could never let it happen.

Last night I came back very tired and slept like a baby. I didn’t even hold my phone. I'm glad I didn't, cuz with those crazy urges running around my head you could never know what can happen. But when i woke up this morning at 6 am, a full morning glory was sleeping next to me, i kept laying down looking at the ceiling with that morning wood for 15 minutes, and urges about a thick woman i used to work with started to show up, i have a thing for thick curvy woman, i don’t know, but back in the day, i get attracted to women with hourglass body shapes from a distance without even seeing their faces. IMO I think it’s a biological thing, maybe it’s just me I don't know but these types of women are vibrating with femininity and are more fertile. This is just me, I don't want anyone to get offended by this, it’s just my type.

After those 15 minutes i got up to the bathroom and the morning wood started to fade away, thank god i didn’t act on those urges while i was lying down cuz i fantasized about that girl from work, i really like her. yes i do. Even though we don’t work together anymore, but i have her number, and we texted each other before. Maybe one day when i get my shit together and get rid of this pmo addiction, i will give it a shot, fingers crossed.

Peace.

Ezel.
 
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Simon2

Active Member
Even though we don’t work together anymore, but i have her number, and we texted each other before. Maybe one day when i get my shit together and get rid of this pmo addiction, i will give it a shot, fingers crossed.
I think at 109 days you are starting to have your shit together pretty well :) One does not have to be perfect... as long as one is on the right path! But you know what you can handle right now it sounds like. :)
 

Ezel

Well-Known Member
Sorry guys I let you and myself down, i relapsed after 110 days of no pmo. I honestly can't comprehend how did it happen. After that I fell into A state of sorrow and dispair. And started thinking that I'm trapped in this closed cycle of (relapse, withdrawal, relapse) for life.
What made it worse is i logged out of the forum, telling myself it's better to do it on my own, and take a time off, my brain was like " no wonder you are back to porn, cuz you try so hard to get it out from your mind, if i tell you Don't think about elephants, then what are you thinking about, yeah right freaking elephants 🐘!" and i did for 10 days and back at it again, and after that for 3days and i relapsed again.
Apparently I can't do it by myself, that's why there's forums like these, that work for guys like me.
I can't thank you enough for your continued support 💕🙂, @Beautiful1973 @Blondie @GBS @alexey0 @FreedomFromTheStruggle_11 .
Tomorrow is a new start, a new day.
See you then.
 
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