Day 80 (no po, no mo), monk mode.
thanks again for reaching out, and congratulations on 1-year porn free, that’s an outstanding achievement champ, I’m so proud of you. I’m also glad that things are getting better between you and the wife, may god bless and strengthen the hearts of you two with faith, and let them increase in their love and commitment to god through their bond.
The second college semester officially started this week, so I'm back to another struggle of lowering my gaze. Beautiful girls are everywhere around the campus, which is quite a challenge. I got sloppy many times tbh and peeked. I’m not proud of it, but you know 80 days of no mo can make you do things that aren’t reasonable at all. I won’t make excuses and say it was okay to look. Like @Blondie
said once if you’re not going to make a move and talk to that girl you better leave her alone and stop being a creep.
What’s the point of looking at her if you are not going to talk to her, I’m just torturing myself and making the reboot more difficult than it already is.
With this, I think my flatline is gone by now. I always get scared when it happens, because that’s where it gets really challenging, and this is where I always screw it up. My mind is still throwing tricks at me to see which one will stick, just this morning i was on my phone and a video popped up about women who regret feminism cuz they can’t handle being independent, and they can’t find men who can commit to them. Probably you won’t find this type of video triggering but that’s just your junkie brain misleading you. Thank god i didn’t watch it, i just moved on and came here to read my fellow rebooters' stories like i always do.
Cuz a lot of times women in these videos are dressed in a certain way to go viral and get as much attention as they can. What‘s even crazier is these women go online and publish these videos where they are crying their guts out for all the people to see, wth. I mean are they seeking attention to that extent or I’m just an emotionless prick who doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about?
This is actually disgustingly sad. They did this to themselves. Men are getting sick and tired of the "Modern Woman". Men love independence, but they really love a partner they can lean on and who SUPPORTS them emotionally by letting them be the healthy masculine man that enjoys taking care of their woman that LETS him be a man, respects him, and is a partner to him reciprocating love, help, appreciation, etc. Women need to realize that they are painting themselves in a corner with all this "I am the table" narcissistic feminism.
The other day i read on @TakeActionNow
's thread that women control access to sex, on the other hand, men control access to relationships, so i guess we are even then. I hope i don’t sound like a pitiless person, but i really feel bad for these women. They have been gaslit and propagandized their entire lives, and now that the years are adding up they're not so kindly being confronted with the reality that masculinity was never their enemy. Just hope this madness is still reversible. The younger men of these generations have work to do, too. Be masculine. Be kind. Be firm. Understand what these women have been fed--that "housewife" is a slur and "masculinity" is toxic--and fight it with compassion.
This brings me back to what this forum is all about “beating this porn addiction”, it's so disgusting when you have a very normal day like just walking and enjoying the fresh air and greeting strangers on the street, and then suddenly your brain bombards you with these random scenes you watch from porn. It really messes up my day.
Also, the feeling of regret after you watch porn sucks.
I just wish I never ever discovered porn. Being curious sucks sometimes.
I said once I’m not going to make promises anymore but here we are again, i hope it won’t turn ugly like it did last time.
I’m never going back to that filth again, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how bad my urges tell me to play a porn video, I won't ever watch porn again. I will not quit. Stay strong, brothers and sisters, it might be a very difficult battle, but we will not quit. It might take a long time for us to feel better, but we'll definitely get there.
I thank all the guys in here, even though i don’t write a lot like i used to but i’m always reading your updates, keep inspiring, keep fighting, keep pushing. You only live once, so make it count.
Peace and love.