Finally, I'm doing this…
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Ezel
Respected Member
Day 80 (no po, no mo), monk mode.
@GBS thanks again for reaching out, and congratulations on 1-year porn free, that’s an outstanding achievement champ, I’m so proud of you. I’m also glad that things are getting better between you and the wife, may god bless and strengthen the hearts of you two with faith, and let them increase in their love and commitment to god through their bond.
The second college semester officially started this week, so I'm back to another struggle of lowering my gaze. Beautiful girls are everywhere around the campus, which is quite a challenge. I got sloppy many times tbh and peeked. I’m not proud of it, but you know 80 days of no mo can make you do things that aren’t reasonable at all. I won’t make excuses and say it was okay to look. Like @Blondie said once if you’re not going to make a move and talk to that girl you better leave her alone and stop being a creep.
What’s the point of looking at her if you are not going to talk to her, I’m just torturing myself and making the reboot more difficult than it already is.
With this, I think my flatline is gone by now. I always get scared when it happens, because that’s where it gets really challenging, and this is where I always screw it up. My mind is still throwing tricks at me to see which one will stick, just this morning i was on my phone and a video popped up about women who regret feminism cuz they can’t handle being independent, and they can’t find men who can commit to them. Probably you won’t find this type of video triggering but that’s just your junkie brain misleading you. Thank god i didn’t watch it, i just moved on and came here to read my fellow rebooters' stories like i always do.
Cuz a lot of times women in these videos are dressed in a certain way to go viral and get as much attention as they can. What‘s even crazier is these women go online and publish these videos where they are crying their guts out for all the people to see, wth. I mean are they seeking attention to that extent or I’m just an emotionless prick who doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about?
This is actually disgustingly sad. They did this to themselves. Men are getting sick and tired of the "Modern Woman". Men love independence, but they really love a partner they can lean on and who SUPPORTS them emotionally by letting them be the healthy masculine man that enjoys taking care of their woman that LETS him be a man, respects him, and is a partner to him reciprocating love, help, appreciation, etc. Women need to realize that they are painting themselves in a corner with all this "I am the table" narcissistic feminism.
The other day i read on @TakeActionNow 's thread that women control access to sex, on the other hand, men control access to relationships, so i guess we are even then. I hope i don’t sound like a pitiless person, but i really feel bad for these women. They have been gaslit and propagandized their entire lives, and now that the years are adding up they're not so kindly being confronted with the reality that masculinity was never their enemy. Just hope this madness is still reversible. The younger men of these generations have work to do, too. Be masculine. Be kind. Be firm. Understand what these women have been fed--that "housewife" is a slur and "masculinity" is toxic--and fight it with compassion.
This brings me back to what this forum is all about “beating this porn addiction”, it's so disgusting when you have a very normal day like just walking and enjoying the fresh air and greeting strangers on the street, and then suddenly your brain bombards you with these random scenes you watch from porn. It really messes up my day.
Also, the feeling of regret after you watch porn sucks.
I just wish I never ever discovered porn. Being curious sucks sometimes.
I said once I’m not going to make promises anymore but here we are again, i hope it won’t turn ugly like it did last time.
I’m never going back to that filth again, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how bad my urges tell me to play a porn video, I won't ever watch porn again. I will not quit. Stay strong, brothers and sisters, it might be a very difficult battle, but we will not quit. It might take a long time for us to feel better, but we'll definitely get there.
I thank all the guys in here, even though i don’t write a lot like i used to but i’m always reading your updates, keep inspiring, keep fighting, keep pushing. You only live once, so make it count.
Peace and love.
Ezel.
@GBS thanks again for reaching out, and congratulations on 1-year porn free, that’s an outstanding achievement champ, I’m so proud of you. I’m also glad that things are getting better between you and the wife, may god bless and strengthen the hearts of you two with faith, and let them increase in their love and commitment to god through their bond.
The second college semester officially started this week, so I'm back to another struggle of lowering my gaze. Beautiful girls are everywhere around the campus, which is quite a challenge. I got sloppy many times tbh and peeked. I’m not proud of it, but you know 80 days of no mo can make you do things that aren’t reasonable at all. I won’t make excuses and say it was okay to look. Like @Blondie said once if you’re not going to make a move and talk to that girl you better leave her alone and stop being a creep.
What’s the point of looking at her if you are not going to talk to her, I’m just torturing myself and making the reboot more difficult than it already is.
With this, I think my flatline is gone by now. I always get scared when it happens, because that’s where it gets really challenging, and this is where I always screw it up. My mind is still throwing tricks at me to see which one will stick, just this morning i was on my phone and a video popped up about women who regret feminism cuz they can’t handle being independent, and they can’t find men who can commit to them. Probably you won’t find this type of video triggering but that’s just your junkie brain misleading you. Thank god i didn’t watch it, i just moved on and came here to read my fellow rebooters' stories like i always do.
Cuz a lot of times women in these videos are dressed in a certain way to go viral and get as much attention as they can. What‘s even crazier is these women go online and publish these videos where they are crying their guts out for all the people to see, wth. I mean are they seeking attention to that extent or I’m just an emotionless prick who doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about?
This is actually disgustingly sad. They did this to themselves. Men are getting sick and tired of the "Modern Woman". Men love independence, but they really love a partner they can lean on and who SUPPORTS them emotionally by letting them be the healthy masculine man that enjoys taking care of their woman that LETS him be a man, respects him, and is a partner to him reciprocating love, help, appreciation, etc. Women need to realize that they are painting themselves in a corner with all this "I am the table" narcissistic feminism.
The other day i read on @TakeActionNow 's thread that women control access to sex, on the other hand, men control access to relationships, so i guess we are even then. I hope i don’t sound like a pitiless person, but i really feel bad for these women. They have been gaslit and propagandized their entire lives, and now that the years are adding up they're not so kindly being confronted with the reality that masculinity was never their enemy. Just hope this madness is still reversible. The younger men of these generations have work to do, too. Be masculine. Be kind. Be firm. Understand what these women have been fed--that "housewife" is a slur and "masculinity" is toxic--and fight it with compassion.
This brings me back to what this forum is all about “beating this porn addiction”, it's so disgusting when you have a very normal day like just walking and enjoying the fresh air and greeting strangers on the street, and then suddenly your brain bombards you with these random scenes you watch from porn. It really messes up my day.
Also, the feeling of regret after you watch porn sucks.
I just wish I never ever discovered porn. Being curious sucks sometimes.
I said once I’m not going to make promises anymore but here we are again, i hope it won’t turn ugly like it did last time.
I’m never going back to that filth again, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how bad my urges tell me to play a porn video, I won't ever watch porn again. I will not quit. Stay strong, brothers and sisters, it might be a very difficult battle, but we will not quit. It might take a long time for us to feel better, but we'll definitely get there.
I thank all the guys in here, even though i don’t write a lot like i used to but i’m always reading your updates, keep inspiring, keep fighting, keep pushing. You only live once, so make it count.
Peace and love.
Ezel.
Blondie
Respected Member
Hey @Ezel, congrats brother on day 80, you're killing it like always. 
After reading your post, I had a thought. I don't remember off the top of my head how long your longest streak was, but I'm thinking it was around a hundred days or something. Anyhow, I believe you haven't got to 4 months clean since you've started this journey. So my question to you is this, I know you want to quit porn forever and to never look at it again (a very honorable goal), however, this is a very undefinable goal and practically impossible in the real world, which is where we live. None of us know when we're going to die, it could be tomorrow crossing the street or peacefully in our beds in sixty years, thus, it's real hard to measure forever, when you don't know when that's going to be. You and I are both day counters, so I assume we're on the same page when it comes to that, however, I've never seen you counting to your next goal, and correct me if I'm wrong, but it comes across to me that your next goal is forever. So I'd suggest to you, that your next goal should be 90 days, which is no big deal since you've done that 3 or 4 times. But then, your next big goal should be four months, something that you've never accomplished before, but nevertheless, something that is absolutely accomplishable and within your reach. This way, when the going gets tough - and I can tell you're alreadly anxious about it - you can batten down the hatches knowing you CAN ride this bitch out, because it's only three more weeks of hell and not a lifetime. Thus, no matter how hard it gets, sleepless nights, walking around campus with a five foot rod in your pants, depression etc., you have an end goal to look forward to, which helps to motivate you and keep you in the game when the going gets rough. It's hard to push on for forever when you don't know for how long forever will be. But to push on for only a few more weeks of hell? Well that's entirely possible.
If you notice on my thread, I never talk about forever, even though I assume it's obvious that that's my true goal. I talk about breaking my longest streak, and now I talk about finally getting to a year and half porn-free for the first time. These are all definable goals, and things I can work towards in the real world. This last month has been a living hell for me, and if I had to go through it thinking the finish line was my last dying breath instead of knowing it was within three weeks, I might have just given up and cried like a little bitch. However, knowing my goal is within reach, keeps me in the present, which is where all miracles and heroic actions take place. You can't be a hero in some undefined future time, it's literally impossible, but you CAN be one right now and for the next few weeks.
D-Day is not in the future, it's happening right now. The KCVO landing boats have just landed, the front ramps are being lowered down, enemy bullets are buzzing all around you, and a living hell on earth has just begun. If this shithole was to last a lifetime, you would just crawl in a hole to die or perhaps just stand up to get your head blown off. However, knowing if you can just make it through the next forty-five minutes, gives you that extra fight to do what you must, to get your ass across that infamous blood drenched beach, and up that glorious rampart.
Porn is OUR D-Day
Our fight is right now.
Our future does not exist, besides the battle we are currently waging.
If you get through this battle, ONLY then can you plan for the next one.
Just a thought my dear brother.
Love you
After reading your post, I had a thought. I don't remember off the top of my head how long your longest streak was, but I'm thinking it was around a hundred days or something. Anyhow, I believe you haven't got to 4 months clean since you've started this journey. So my question to you is this, I know you want to quit porn forever and to never look at it again (a very honorable goal), however, this is a very undefinable goal and practically impossible in the real world, which is where we live. None of us know when we're going to die, it could be tomorrow crossing the street or peacefully in our beds in sixty years, thus, it's real hard to measure forever, when you don't know when that's going to be. You and I are both day counters, so I assume we're on the same page when it comes to that, however, I've never seen you counting to your next goal, and correct me if I'm wrong, but it comes across to me that your next goal is forever. So I'd suggest to you, that your next goal should be 90 days, which is no big deal since you've done that 3 or 4 times. But then, your next big goal should be four months, something that you've never accomplished before, but nevertheless, something that is absolutely accomplishable and within your reach. This way, when the going gets tough - and I can tell you're alreadly anxious about it - you can batten down the hatches knowing you CAN ride this bitch out, because it's only three more weeks of hell and not a lifetime. Thus, no matter how hard it gets, sleepless nights, walking around campus with a five foot rod in your pants, depression etc., you have an end goal to look forward to, which helps to motivate you and keep you in the game when the going gets rough. It's hard to push on for forever when you don't know for how long forever will be. But to push on for only a few more weeks of hell? Well that's entirely possible.
If you notice on my thread, I never talk about forever, even though I assume it's obvious that that's my true goal. I talk about breaking my longest streak, and now I talk about finally getting to a year and half porn-free for the first time. These are all definable goals, and things I can work towards in the real world. This last month has been a living hell for me, and if I had to go through it thinking the finish line was my last dying breath instead of knowing it was within three weeks, I might have just given up and cried like a little bitch. However, knowing my goal is within reach, keeps me in the present, which is where all miracles and heroic actions take place. You can't be a hero in some undefined future time, it's literally impossible, but you CAN be one right now and for the next few weeks.
D-Day is not in the future, it's happening right now. The KCVO landing boats have just landed, the front ramps are being lowered down, enemy bullets are buzzing all around you, and a living hell on earth has just begun. If this shithole was to last a lifetime, you would just crawl in a hole to die or perhaps just stand up to get your head blown off. However, knowing if you can just make it through the next forty-five minutes, gives you that extra fight to do what you must, to get your ass across that infamous blood drenched beach, and up that glorious rampart.
Porn is OUR D-Day
Our fight is right now.
Our future does not exist, besides the battle we are currently waging.
If you get through this battle, ONLY then can you plan for the next one.
Just a thought my dear brother.
Love you
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First_step_thousand_miles
Respected Member
Congrats my man! Onwards to the triple digits
FreedomFromTheStruggle_11
Well-Known Member
Time to find a sweetheart!Another natural emission this morning. So that's number 9. I don't know if i should start a counter just for the wet dreams...
Just thinking out loud, nevermind guys. Keep doing what you do best.
Bless you all.
Ezel
Respected Member
Day 107 (no po, no mo), monk mode.
Like dj Khaled says "another one". I'm talking about the wet dreams. I had one this morning. So that's number 10 in this 100+ days of reboot.
So on average for every 10 days of reboot, i get a wet dream. Not bad at all. the body is doing it's thing, i hope the mind will too.
Keep fighting Guys.
Peace and love.
Like dj Khaled says "another one". I'm talking about the wet dreams. I had one this morning. So that's number 10 in this 100+ days of reboot.
So on average for every 10 days of reboot, i get a wet dream. Not bad at all. the body is doing it's thing, i hope the mind will too.
Keep fighting Guys.
Peace and love.
Ezel
Respected Member
Day 108 (no po, no mo), monk mode.
Another natural emission this morning, so that makes them 11 wet dreams. In less than 10 days I had 3 WT, 2 of them in 2 days in a row(yesterday and today). Not to forget that every morning when I wake up I get strong morning woods. My snake has become so sensitive, probably while I'm sleeping and rolling around unconsciously in bed, my penis gets stimulated by the contact with the bed.
I sleep a lot on my chest. I think I have to cut that off and sleep on my back or my right side and see what could happen.
I hope it’s not the contact that’s making me cum while I'm sleeping, or maybe I'm masturbating unconsciously without having a clue what’s going on. If this is the case, man, my brain is so messed up lol.
What’s weird about it is, I don't even recall the dream I had. Oh yes, I just remembered yesterday when I got home very late at 11 pm. I was so tired from studying and my brain was stressed and sleepy, I didn't even hold my phone. As soon as I put my head on the pillow I was gone.
Maybe my brain released that stress and tiredness through that cum. I hope that’s what happened.
The amount of cum wasn’t like yesterday. Yesterday half of my boxers were wet and moist. Today just a stain the size of my computer mouse. So I think those tanks are empty for now, but who knows, we shall wait and see.
I’m going to college right now, see you later guys. Keep pushing.
Peace and love.
Ezel.
Another natural emission this morning, so that makes them 11 wet dreams. In less than 10 days I had 3 WT, 2 of them in 2 days in a row(yesterday and today). Not to forget that every morning when I wake up I get strong morning woods. My snake has become so sensitive, probably while I'm sleeping and rolling around unconsciously in bed, my penis gets stimulated by the contact with the bed.
I sleep a lot on my chest. I think I have to cut that off and sleep on my back or my right side and see what could happen.
I hope it’s not the contact that’s making me cum while I'm sleeping, or maybe I'm masturbating unconsciously without having a clue what’s going on. If this is the case, man, my brain is so messed up lol.
What’s weird about it is, I don't even recall the dream I had. Oh yes, I just remembered yesterday when I got home very late at 11 pm. I was so tired from studying and my brain was stressed and sleepy, I didn't even hold my phone. As soon as I put my head on the pillow I was gone.
Maybe my brain released that stress and tiredness through that cum. I hope that’s what happened.
The amount of cum wasn’t like yesterday. Yesterday half of my boxers were wet and moist. Today just a stain the size of my computer mouse. So I think those tanks are empty for now, but who knows, we shall wait and see.
I’m going to college right now, see you later guys. Keep pushing.
Peace and love.
Ezel.