Finally, I'm doing this…

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 12 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

1 wet dream.

thanks @GBS i appreciate you so much man. i can say the same when it comes to you brother. you are one of the legends on here without a doubt. god bless you and your family. thanks again.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

Social anxiety was the problem I faced right from my childhood. (I was too much
interested in science, unlike normal kids, so I always had a feeling that I was not
"one of them.") I experienced huge improvement in my confidence and self-
assurance since cutting out porn. I have more energy now and I am exercising
daily. (I never did before.) I now perceive myself as a self-assured, successful
guy, rather than some introverted jerk.

Daily exercise and porn abstinence really seem to help. I am enjoying my new
lifestyle now. In contrast, after I started watching porn, my social anxiety was
boosted.
 

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 13 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

1 wet dream.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

I just generally have more fun and enjoy my life so much more without
spinning my wheels aimlessly in endless sexual fantasy. The free mind time
(or CPU cycles for us geeks) is now available for so much more productive
endeavors! Even now, I sometimes just stop and realize I have nothing to
occupy my mind. This never used to happen. I now have the time and
inclination to read novels again. I am more productive on home projects. I
have more hobbies.
 

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 15 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

1 wet dream.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

One week after quitting porn and masturbation I met a new girl, which even a
month ago would have been unimaginable to me. I also find myself appreciating
my friends and family and really enjoying their company on a whole new level
than before. Last night I listened to a beautiful song, and I can honestly say that
music has never before had such a profound effect on me.

It's just crazy. I also find myself getting aroused by simple things like a hot girl
walking down the street, for example, and sometimes for no reason at all, which
can be embarrassing but hey, what can ya do?

[Weeks later] I did it! I passed my previous mark of 11 days porn and
masturbation free! Almost two weeks now, I feel fantastic. I'm quite proud of
myself and my drive to beat this has skyrocketed beyond belief!

My mental state towards the addiction is strange, its like I'm conquering it for the woman in
my life right now. It‘s she who is giving me the power to push through.

Temptation was strong at first, but now I shrug/laugh it off when it comes back,
it‘s growing weaker and weaker.

One thing that isn't growing weaker though is my desire to have sex. I keep
getting random erections that are probably the strongest I've had since starting
puberty (I‘m 20). It‘s rather odd for me. It shows just how weak my real sex drive
was before.

Another thing is the extra attention I'm getting from the opposite sex. I've never
really had a problem talking to girls and they've spoke to me in the past of
course, but it‘s incredible how often girls start random conversations with me now!

At a recent wedding I went to, for example, there were few people on the
dance floor and I decided to get up and have a dance with my aunties. Then all
of a sudden I was surrounded by women who were all grabbing me and wanting
to dance with me! I'll be honest; it felt good to have that attention! hahaha

I was complimented quite a lot as well. I have been in the past, but this is very
strange. Could it be because I'm more outgoing and not concerned with the
addiction anymore? I've accepted it‘s there and I just laugh at it now really. Or
perhaps it‘s due to the 13 days of abstinence? Maybe it‘s something to do with
pheromones or increased testosterone or something? I've noticed that all
shyness in social situations has practically vanished as well. I mean I wasn't
really shy before, but now, I don't know, it‘s like I don't give a damn what anyone
thinks!

My life is a million times better now. I can't believe how bad this addiction actually
made me feel, honestly. I haven't conquered it yet, but I feel I'm improving at a
very fast rate!
 

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 16 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

2 wet dreams.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

[Weeks after beginning] It is getting easier to resist. It is hard to explain in
words. I think those feelings and cravings are all still there. Maybe even as
strong or stronger than ever. It is just I do not have to act on them any more.
I just can do other things. I feel other things. I want and desire other things. I
am no longer always seeking my next fix. Do I still need to be careful? Heck
yeah! This stuff can suck me back in a heartbeat, but these things don‘t have
the power they once had over me, nor are they draining my self worth, nor
am I a lust ball all day. I am starting to finally have a mind that has the
concentration to think about other things besides sex.
 

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 17 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

2 wet dreams.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

Anytime I've gotten past two weeks of no PMO I've felt increasingly... powerful.
That's the only word I can use to describe it. Getting to know one's body without
porn is a huge step in the right direction for real life interaction with women. I've
noticed the longer I stay away from porn that it's easier to talk to them, flirt and
get into conversations. These things I could do while still masturbating to porn,
but my attitude is so much less interested in getting her panties off. Of course,
I'm sexually attracted to them, but the difference is the lizard brain is in it's cage
where it belongs, while the full breadth of my personality can show itself and take
shape before her eyes in a way that is stifled under the crippling emotional
blanket of constant porn use.

It really makes you more attractive to women and at the same time you get a
rock solid confidence boost out of not caring a wit if she will ultimately sleep with
you. It's easier to just "go with the flow." That *will* improve your chances, but as
with all things related to women and dating, it often appears in ways you wouldn't
think of until it happens.

[Later] I am noticing a big difference in staying away from the porn and binges.
The physical cravings aren‘t as bad, and I‘m not thinking about acting out as bad.
I know these things can come in waves, but I‘m not feeling this nasty pull on me
right now. Another thing that I noticed is my vibe is a lot cleaner with women.
Hardly any sleaze. I think that sleaze vibe women get from creepy dudes is
shame. I‘m feeling a lot less of it regarding women I‘m not involved with just
around campus, and it feels really good.

I find that I‘m more open and less frantic, scared, and nervous around them.
However, it‘s not that I feel any less sexual, or less of a man, or androgynous or
something. It‘s just that I feel a better kind of dynamic, maybe power or skill or
something. I don‘t feel that I absolutely NEED a mate to be happy or exist. This
has plagued me for years now and has caused me a lot of depression. I still get
longings when I see a pretty girl who might be my type, but it‘s not as much of an
issue right now.

I‘m really starting to enjoy myself a lot more now. I like what I‘m becoming and
I‘m enjoying having some relief from my old head. I‘m enjoying finding my own
power and center now. I‘m enjoying being a man. I‘m enjoying the strength and
independence and "rightness" I feel from testosterone surges. I‘m enjoying not
feeling at the whim of a woman because I want sex from her so bad.

I‘m in a hole with some things like finances and school and some emotional stuff,
but there is nothing in the world like starting to get your mind back after you have
lost it for so long, and seeing people acting differently toward you. Not much
beats that feeling. Even negative reactions from people are validating because if
I‘m rubbing someone the wrong way by living according to my core and passion
and it exposes a weakness on their part, then I‘m doing myself, and them, a
favor. It tells me that I‘m doing the right thing, intuitively.

All the things that I used to take for granted in my mood and mind are slowly
returning. I have not felt normal since the start of my addiction. I get glimpses of
clarity here and there. It‘s enough to keep me going and motivated.

I spent about 2 hours in nature tonight just enjoying being outside. Spending time
with family, or talking to a friend—these little things add up after a while and
before you know it, life is somewhat normal and doable. [Later] Honestly porn
just doesn't seem to be on my mind a lot now. I have had some very sexual
dreams and I wake up thinking, "What was that all about?" But I just ignore it and
go on about my day. This experience is something that one would have to try and
see for himself. I'm happier now, and, well, I'm making things happen in my life.
 

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 18 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

2 wet dreams.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

It‘s amazing how much of a difference there is. I‘m a lot less nervous, more
coherent, confident, everything. It really does feel like my real personality
can come out. I feel like I have a ton of bricks on top of me when I am trying
to function during a withdrawal period. Just trying to keep porn out of my
life has made a big difference. I have slipped a few times and I notice the
difference for sure between porn masturbation and non-porn masturbation.
Getting porn out of my life has been the single best thing I‘ve tried to do for
myself. I‘ve learned so much about myself and my body and sexuality since
I‘ve been on this adventure.

The effect on my social life keeps getting better. I'm finding it really easy to
talk to people, especially women. Someone made a comment to me the other
day at my salsa class. Something like, "You like to talk to the ladies, don't
you?" I didn't even notice because I was having so much fun but, when I
think about it, he was right.
 

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 20 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

2 wet dreams.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

I'm learning to live without orgasm in my life, one day at a time. I can see more
love in the world, hope, and I think I‘m more compassionate and less angry. I‘ve
tasted what it was like without orgasm for 3 weeks and now I‘m longing to go
back to it; life can be so much better. There was such a difference after I had a
nighttime emission. They still mess with my system, but not as bad as conscious
orgasms.

I was more positive, had less depression and the world seems like a better place.
I'm still confronted with moments of intense despair and depression lasting no
longer than 2 hours. They fade, and there are fewer as more time passes. But
some days are a challenge to get through. I have tried masturbation without porn
or fantasy and it just seems to make me feel really uncomfortable for the next
day or so...intensifies cravings.
 

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 21 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

2 wet dreams.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

[Starting reboot] I think I have lost almost all my ability to socialize with
people. I have been a very big loner most of my life. I just get scared or
angry with people. I have trouble putting my feeling on this into words. I
have so crippled myself with this addiction it is hard to see a complete way
out. If I do not get past this, what is the point of fixing my addiction?

[A few weeks into it] I am starting to notice some differences. I function
better at work around others now, and actually talk to my fellow workers
because it feels better when I do. Before, I just liked my little hideaway
where nobody bothered me. Now, I want something else. It is starting to hit
me hard I think. I need more out of this life than what those images I have
been addicted to so long can give me. I want love. [He soon developed a
―pen pal‖ relationship with a woman.]

[Later] I started doing push-ups at work with some of the guys. When I
started out I was at like 15 push-ups, and I was struggling. Well today is the
first time I have been able to do them with these guys since I have gone 60
days with just a couple orgasm/ejaculations. They were shocked at how
many push ups I could do. They all commented on not seeing anyone
increase from where I was at about 2 months ago to what I am at now.
Today I did 200 (not all at one time). Maybe not superman but a big
improvement in a couple months.

Had a thought today about myself that may be a sign of a big improvement
for me. I thought, ―Well I do not look half bad. I look OK.‖ That thought
just stopped me. I was in shock at even thinking that. I have not thought of
my self-image in a positive way I do not think ever. To just not even really
think about it to just have the thought come into me head as if it were the
most natural thing or way to think about myself was just well a shock to the
system.

[Later] I am starting to find it easier to deal with stress. Things come up that
should stress me out and I do better with stress and can handle it. What is
more, I do not think of porn/masturbation/orgasm to help with it. I just deal
with the stressful situation. I am feeling so much going on in my head.

Another thing is now I am not happy or content with my job. It is a dead-end
job with nowhere to go. I was numb and happy to just live out my porn life
right where I was before all of this. Now I just do not know if I can stand it
much longer. I am waking up I guess and I do not like what I see. I need to
change many things. I am working on it.

It would have been hard for anyone to view more porn than I did over the
last 15 years. Hours and hours a day every day with very few days missed.
To be honest I do not know if it was the orgasms or the porn or both that
caused all my social problems. I think it is a combination of the two. I think
either will cause problems. Put them both together and you have a real mess.
I do not believe that you can use either of these and not be affected socially.

To give an example. I work with a lot of guys older than me. I know they
have talked about sex a lot the whole time I have worked with them. Now
though the talk is really starting to bother me. It hurts to hear some of the
things they say. I was never bothered before. They have not changed the way
they talk about sex and women. I‘ve changed. It never affected me before.

Now they are starting to piss me off with comments they make and how they
view women. It is hard to describe or explain really. I just know I do not
want to hear the crap any more. I listened to this stuff for over 2 years and
never really cared. Now it bothers me a great deal. So that is one thing that
has changed in me.

The other is the way I carry myself. I walk with more confidence. I feel
better about myself. I do not feel like isolating myself as much as I did in the
past. Well actually the longer I go without porn the more the desire to be
with a woman is increasing. It is starting to get almost uncomfortable. I am
not sure how to deal with these new feelings sometimes. I am getting myself
back in school for another thing. I am doing it now instead of talking. It will
be a while before I can get back to school but I am already working on it. I
am starting to work very hard at getting some other aspects of my life fixed.
It will take just a little while but I will be straight in my finances. I was not
working on any of this or even cared to before I started this process.

[Later] Today is day 50 without porn. My body has healed very well. NO
ED problems or weak ejaculations like I suffered from just a few months
ago. So giving up porn and fantasy and going without orgasm (mostly) for
just this period of time has made big steps in healing the damage I had done
to myself. I also learned that I have gone far enough that I can recover my
peace of mind a little more easily after an ejaculation.
 

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 22 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

2 wet dreams.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

Today is day 34 and I'm still going. The sexual cravings only pop up occasionally
and are easy to handle. Overall I'm more centered, and in my body most of the
time. But I'm also working on some other personal issues, so I can't make any
cause-and-effect assumptions. I can honestly say that I'm making good progress
with myself. I notice that I'm looking at women from another angle.

Of course my head turns when a hot woman walks by, but I'm more focused on behavioral
cues now instead of the overt sexual stuff like short skirt, big boobs, and so forth.
I find that I'm attracted to a different kind of woman now. Not the hot and cold,
intimidating ones as before, but those that look like they could be nice to be
around. You know, the friendly ones.

Most of the time it's much easier for me to hold eye contact. It might also be, that
I'm unconsciously actually seeking more eye contact but I'm not sure about it. I
have to observe. On Friday, I was talking to a girl friend (just a friend) I‘ve known
for several years. While she was talking and I was looking at her, I suddenly
noticed a subtle tickling feeling in my lips. When I felt into it, it was like my body
signaled me to kiss her. This is so weird in a cool way. Overall I'm more happy
with myself and less needy.
 

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 2 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

thank you guys for the support @GBS @Blondie @swimmer97 @Androg @5yrs_is_enough . i appreciate you guys so much.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

When I do semen retention for 2 weeks, I notice these benefits:

1) Face looks radiant and energetic (I may get occasional double
glances from girls in shopping mall or street)
2) Expression looks carefree (not struggling for more energy, or
not worrying about negative stuff) More natural confidence
without needing to adjust thoughts.
3) Voice gets deeper and more charming (This, strangely, makes
both men and women like to talk with you.)
4) More positive thoughts (The negative thoughts that used to
bother seem so minor and irrelevant - I can 'get over' issues easier.)
5) More calm emotionally and easier to control myself
6) Exponential increase of stamina and physical energy/strength

But I have to be careful of:
1) Craving to have sex or masturbate
2) Obsession with sexual fantasies (Normal daily activities can seem
not important, and seeking connection and sex is more important.)
3) Feeling of frustration and depression (because no sexual action).

What I usually notice is, once I reach about day 14, my 'base life energy' is
high, giving me bright eyes, charisma, deeper voice, natural confidence etc. I
can get tired at the end of the day and yet still feel the base life energy. It is
as if my energy has 2 parts, one is semen life force (base life energy), and
another is the daily supply of physical energy(?) And when I ejaculate, I find
the base life energy being drained with semen loss. I don‘t know if this
makes sense to anyone. Anyone felt the same?

What I usually do is, once I reach a high and then it slowly goes down to
monotony and depression, I start to masturbate, or just touch myself without
ejaculation. Just stimulate it a little bit without reaching even 80% of the
point of no return. This seems to kick-start the feel-good cycle, which will
last a few days or week.
 

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 3 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

[Just recently gave up porn] The previous week was terrible. This week I'm
feeling more calm and women are approaching me. I don't know what it is, but
today I was waiting at a bus stop. Then this very pretty woman comes out of the
mall. I look her way and then back, taking an occasional glance. She came over
to where I was. And she started talking to me! So we ended up talking for maybe
an hour. Before she leaves she tells me she might stop by my job tomorrow.

So, today I rode the bus and I noticed so many attractive women. There is
something attractive about all of them, no matter what body type. Forget porn,

there are so many women out there to converse with that I don't want to see
photo shopped bodies on my PC. The attraction level is on another field. I see
opportunity, rather than intimidation. I have no desire to view porn, or return to
old habits. I just want to see how far this will go. And see how much I change as
a result of recovery.
 

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 4 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

The extra energy has been spent on better things, and I, too, have been more
sociable, more outgoing. I had someone note a few days ago that I had a
very positive aura about me, and that it was in stark contrast to my past
persona. I like that. I'm more interested in spending time with friends,
exercise, enjoying good food, taking up activities I've forgotten about,
especially enjoying good music, traveling. I sleep less.

One "odd" thing: at times I'm crying recklessly to moving music, which I
haven't done before, but it feels very soothing to me! I never even thought
about things like grief until I started this experiment. These emotions and
feelings surfacing from abstaining have shown me that I am a much more
coherent and emotional person than I thought. It has been crucial to come
across these feelings.
 
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