Finally, I'm doing this…

Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
I screwed up again yesterday, I wasn't horny at all, I was just bored since i blocked all the p sites using a site blocker app, I opened youtube hoping my boredom will go away, and spent the whole day mindlessly scrolling and watching unmeaningful videos and shorts, but still, the boredom was still hunting me, I looked for a model name that was in mind, as soon as i did that, I knew I was finished. Soon after I deactivated all the porn blockers on my phone, which were supposed to be really hard to get rid of as they claimed on their sites, it was easy work for my addicted brain, and the rest is history.

I still think the brain is the most powerful porn blocker out there, it doesn’t come close to any porn blocker in the market. Although I use cold turkey on my laptop and it gets the job done like no other porn blocker (whoever created it is an angel in disguise) I tried to get around it many times and I didn't get through. The only downside is it doesn’t have an app version for Android.

Since I have a problem with YouTube, I deleted it from my phone, and the browser too so I can't access it from there. Deleted messaging apps as well, as they take a big chunk of my time. The only way to access them is through my laptop. And with Cold Turkey installed I can only access them in certain periods of the day.

It sucks when you can’t even trust your own brain and you have to use these apps. Man, I remember when I could go 3 months with no porn blocker and with all the distracting apps still installed on my phone. I guess there is nothing so stable as change.
 
Blondie

Blondie

Respected Member
Hey @Ezel, it's okay brother.

Nice job getting rid of YouTube etc. if that's your problem then great job knowing it and going forward with removing it.
Ezel said:
It sucks when you can’t even trust your own brain and you have to use these apps. Man, I remember when I could go 3 months with no porn blocker and with all the distracting apps still installed on my phone. I guess there is nothing so stable as change.
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I know this is hard and I know it can be discouraging when you feel you have no power over this, but the fact is, you do have power, and what was once done before can be done again. The thing is with those porn blockers is that it gives you a sense of "freedom" when in fact in reality, they can make you rely on THEM and not on yourself. Obviously, there's nothing wrong with them, but it can give you this false sense of liberty which is not really true. You've gone over three months all by yourself, with no help at all, which to me is a very liberating thought. Keep your mind on those lofty thoughts and keep on going.

Best brother.
Blondie
 
Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
Blondie said:
Hey @Ezel, it's okay brother.

Nice job getting rid of YouTube etc. if that's your problem then great job knowing it and going forward with removing it.

I know this is hard and I know it can be discouraging when you feel you have no power over this, but the fact is, you do have power, and what was once done before can be done again. The thing is with those porn blockers is that it gives you a sense of "freedom" when in fact in reality, they can make you rely on THEM and not on yourself. Obviously, there's nothing wrong with them, but it can give you this false sense of liberty which is not really true. You've gone over three months all by yourself, with no help at all, which to me is a very liberating thought. Keep your mind on those lofty thoughts and keep on going.

Best brother.
Blondie
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thanks, blondie man, i appreciate you. failing is quitting, and since I'm still in the game I still have a shot at it.

day 2.
 
Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
after 14 days of rebooting, i screwed up again today. i was browsing some torrent websites looking for a CAD software. and guess what was also there, yeah you guessed it right, unfortunately, Cold Turkey didn't include them as you can find a lot of useful stuff there as well. i had to add them manually to the block after I screwed up of course. too late. my bad.

this happened one week before my final semester exams, which sucks. but I must not panic and get my shyt together not to mess things up. overall I worked hard every day for the past month, and I won't let this slip take over and play mind games on me. i still have a chance at this. not only at college but battling this bad habit as well. only when I started gaining my momentum again after two weeks, and this caught me off-guard, you can never lower your guard.
 
Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
hey @Blondie thanks for stopping by, i'm still struggling man, i got hooked on some of shit.

i can see that you are doing great, keep going man, don't look back.

at least one of us has made it, and got out of this rut.

peace and much love.
 
Blondie

Blondie

Respected Member
Hey man, we've all been there. I perfectly understand. Remind yourself why you want to do this, and keep pressing on to be the man you know you can be.

I believe in you

Best
Love
Blondie
 
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