Day 100, no po, no mo(monk-mode).
It’s my second day into monk mode and man, the first day was tough…
But i didn’t screw it up, whenever i saw some triggers i looked away, it seems like the whole universe was conspiring against me yesterday, lol.
While i was on my phone watching youtube, triggering content showed up from nowhere even though i didn’t look it up, but i looked away and didn’t watch it, then another one, then another more…
I became frustrated and closed the app and put my phone down to watch some tv. thinking to myself it's way safer than my phone, but who am i kidding…
Triggers all over the place. It’s like Liam “triggers” Neeson from taken was chasing me and telling me “ what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career, skills that make me a nightmare for people like you(rebooters). If you watch those triggers now and do as I say, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you. I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will make you relapse”.
And I was like “good luck with that homie”...
But that was not the end of it…
Just moments ago before writing this journal, I was out and noticed this busty girl from a distance walking towards me, I immediately looked away and went on with my business…
If I'm really serious about quitting and getting clean from this addiction, this is gonna be the proper way to do it…
This isn’t my first go at monk mode it’s my second one, i tried it first when i started the reboot and i was doing very good, but with time i got sloppy and put my guard down then i switched to hard mode (no sex, no po, no mo) so i can check women out and watch triggers.
Doing that is like playing with fire, soon you will get burned.
And I got burned many times, thank god it didn’t escalate to porn.
Monk mode is lit. It's a hardmode of hardmode basically. And the best (and maybe quickest) way to reboot.
As I understand it it's basically avoiding anything artificial. So no social media(check), youtube(i have to work on this one), netflix(check), tv(no check, but that’s an easy one to pull off), no fantasizing(i have to work on it) etc. Don't look at a girls 'features' when you're out(i’m working on it). (Adopt a NoArousal approach) This one is huge.
If you're up for it it provides great results.
But talk is cheap.
Alright, nouf said, stay safe guys…
Peace.
Ezel.