Day 7, no p, no mo.
I started the second attempt after the first relapse.
Pushing through the third month and surpassing it was the goal in mind.
I won’t bore you with the details of my reboot, it was like the first attempt to reboot, with the same upsides and downsides.
The only difference was, the second attempt was 4 month of no p, no mo. one more month than the first reboot.
And guess what happened after that fourth month…
Yes, you’re right I relapsed for the second time.
It happened the same way as the first one, with no goal in mind to focus on, I put my guard down….
I was so devastated, as if I hadn't learned anything from the first relapse.
I was overthinking and analyzing too much, what if this is my destiny for life, to keep watching porn and mustarbate and eventually kiss the person i want to become goodbye.
I snapped out of it, I went to a dark place for a second, but I got myself back.
It was my junkie brain doing his tricks again, to make me overthink shit and be so stressed out to get his dopamine hit through porn.
But that ain’t happening, I'm sick of this shit, I'm done, I don't want to keep relapsing and all the work I put through go down the toilet, like nothing happened.
At that time i came to this forum, and started reading rebooters stories, to get control over myself again.
And in one of the threads i read, one of the rebooters (i don’t recall his name, but if you’re reading this man, god bless you) mentioned dr trish leigh youtube channel.
And I watched her videos, and every one of them was eye opening, full of insights and analysis of what’s going on inside a porn addict’s brain.
Every time I face urges to relapse, either I come to this forum or go watch dr trigh leigh’s videos just to switch the thoughts going on inside my head.
I even check on her channel every day when I wake up, to stay updated on her new content. And I'm a subscriber to her porn brain rewire podcast as well.
She’s a life saver, and to anyone reading this I encourage you to check her youtube channel. There is no better way to beat this addiction than to get educated about your addiction, and what’s going on inside your brain.
After that discovery of dr trish’s channel, and armed with the knowledge and insights in her videos, i’m now starting the third attempt to quit porn, and i pray to god this will be the last and be porn free for life and never look back.
I hope with the knowledge I learned for her channel and learning from the mistakes I made, I can leave this addiction behind.
So this day is the seventh day in my reboot.
And being aware of my triggers like checking women on the streets, which resulted in urges that cause the first and second relapse, now i no longer check them out on the streets.
If I spot an attractive woman from far away, as she approaches me I no longer look at her, even if I slip up I only look at her face, not at her body parts.
Cuz if i did look at her body parts, my brain will be triggered and will want more of it, to get his dopamine hit that i took from it by abstaining from porn for the seventh day.
And if I escalate in checking women out, eventually i will relapse, cuz i will be overwhelmed with urges to watch porn and mustarbate.
Knowing about your triggers is an important key in battling this addiction. You have to stay away from your triggers, whatever they might be.
Be it insta models, hooties on youtube, actresses on tv, women on the streets…..
These triggers are what are going to open up the floodgates of urges to your brain, and if you’re not strong enough to cope with them, eventually your brain will get you.
Know what triggers you and stay away from it and keep yourself busy. If you can’t keep your brain busy with hobbies and habits that will rewire it towards healthy dopamine levels, it will keep you busy with porn.
Guys we can do this, stay strong no matter what, this is your life that we’re talking about you only live it once, by leaving this filth you will be the best you can be and achieve more than you are capable of, you just have to believe and work on yourself.
See ya, stay hard.
Ezel.