Finally, I'm doing this…
- Thread starter Ezel
- Start date
BrunoOliveira
Member
And for you too.
Bless you.
Bless you.
FreedomFromTheStruggle_11
Well-Known Member
Absolutely crushing it. Awesome job!!
Ezel
Respected Member
I read this in a book, and i thought I have to share it with you guys even though it's really phucked up:
“Most of the people who join the porn industry come from broken homes. Many of the girls are sexually abused. So the porn industry actually lures in these kinds of people to exploit them. So basically when someone is watching pornography, what you’re really doing is contributing to the demise and destruction of adult survivors of sexual child abuse who are on drugs and have physical disease. That’s really what you’re watching because I promise you, nobody in that industry is healthy.”–, Former Pornstar
“Most of the people who join the porn industry come from broken homes. Many of the girls are sexually abused. So the porn industry actually lures in these kinds of people to exploit them. So basically when someone is watching pornography, what you’re really doing is contributing to the demise and destruction of adult survivors of sexual child abuse who are on drugs and have physical disease. That’s really what you’re watching because I promise you, nobody in that industry is healthy.”–, Former Pornstar
BrunoOliveira
Member
Disgusting, messed up industry.
Blondie
Respected Member
Thanks for this Ezel.
A hard thing to read but informational as well.
It's kind of ironic, but often porn stars are seeking the same things we are: acceptance, love, praise from the opposite sex, and yes, just good old fashion sex. However, just like us, they're often running away from all the bullshit and pain they've experienced in their lives and thus, turn to an easy fix. Taking off your clothes and getting instant "fans" and "admirers" must be quite the dopamine rush and is definitely easier than working on your life and your problems.
Both sides of the screen don't really care about each other, but, both use the other to get a temporary "fix".
It's sad really, but hopefully the next time our brain starts telling us to look at these ladies, we'll be thinking of the reality of the situation, and maybe just maybe our dicks will shrink up!
Best brother!
A hard thing to read but informational as well.
It's kind of ironic, but often porn stars are seeking the same things we are: acceptance, love, praise from the opposite sex, and yes, just good old fashion sex. However, just like us, they're often running away from all the bullshit and pain they've experienced in their lives and thus, turn to an easy fix. Taking off your clothes and getting instant "fans" and "admirers" must be quite the dopamine rush and is definitely easier than working on your life and your problems.
Both sides of the screen don't really care about each other, but, both use the other to get a temporary "fix".
It's sad really, but hopefully the next time our brain starts telling us to look at these ladies, we'll be thinking of the reality of the situation, and maybe just maybe our dicks will shrink up!
Best brother!
Ezel
Respected Member
A Call To All Men
“No horse gets anywhere until he is harnessed. No stream or gas ever drives anything until it is confined. No Niagara ever turned light and power until it is tunneled. No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined.”– Harry Emerson
How do you really look when you masturbate?
Look how your face looks. Imagine your entire family, I mean generations of family dating back a thousands years who have survived wars, plagues, diseases, famine and got you here today. They might be thinking, “I bet he’s doing something great since he lives in the best time to be alive in the 21st century. I can’t wait to see what incredible things he’s doing with his life. Oh wait, what’s he doing in that chair? Why does he spend so much of his free time doing that!”
And they come to check in 10 years later and they find you doing the same thing. They might cry out, ”why is he wasting his life...!?”
“After all we’ve been through, he spends his finite time watching people online have sex.
Stop that right now
This is a call to all men
Let’s stop watching porn and masturbating to it and commit to fully loving women and life again
If you’re not serious about quitting, then you’re wasting your time. Stop dabbling and fully commit to no more porn and masturbation. Go meet some porn addicts who have destroyed their marriages, families, careers, and bodies, who suffer from erectile dysfunction, can’t enjoy sex, and have permanently desensitized the pleasures of life they once enjoyed
Most people who want to stop masturbating to porn don’t really want to stop masturbating to porn. They get excited about quitting and finding something better for themselves, but they never fully commit to quitting. They’re always afraid of releasing what’s comfortable, easy and safe.
It’s scary – I know the feeling as I was once there, but you too can overcome this addiction. Right now you need to commit fully to the recovery process once and for all. No matter how hard it gets or how many times you may relapse – do not give up! Re-read this book once per month as you begin the journey to rid yourself of this addiction. Stay focused, committed and keep your eye on the prize.
You might be sad thinking I’m taking something cherished away from you, but in reality I’m giving something invaluable back to you.
Your life...
Your one life.
Now, go make it count.
Taken from the book by Ferebee Andrew called The Porn Pandemic: A Simple Guide To Understanding And Ending Pornography Addiction For Men
“No horse gets anywhere until he is harnessed. No stream or gas ever drives anything until it is confined. No Niagara ever turned light and power until it is tunneled. No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined.”– Harry Emerson
How do you really look when you masturbate?
Look how your face looks. Imagine your entire family, I mean generations of family dating back a thousands years who have survived wars, plagues, diseases, famine and got you here today. They might be thinking, “I bet he’s doing something great since he lives in the best time to be alive in the 21st century. I can’t wait to see what incredible things he’s doing with his life. Oh wait, what’s he doing in that chair? Why does he spend so much of his free time doing that!”
And they come to check in 10 years later and they find you doing the same thing. They might cry out, ”why is he wasting his life...!?”
“After all we’ve been through, he spends his finite time watching people online have sex.
Stop that right now
This is a call to all men
Let’s stop watching porn and masturbating to it and commit to fully loving women and life again
If you’re not serious about quitting, then you’re wasting your time. Stop dabbling and fully commit to no more porn and masturbation. Go meet some porn addicts who have destroyed their marriages, families, careers, and bodies, who suffer from erectile dysfunction, can’t enjoy sex, and have permanently desensitized the pleasures of life they once enjoyed
Most people who want to stop masturbating to porn don’t really want to stop masturbating to porn. They get excited about quitting and finding something better for themselves, but they never fully commit to quitting. They’re always afraid of releasing what’s comfortable, easy and safe.
It’s scary – I know the feeling as I was once there, but you too can overcome this addiction. Right now you need to commit fully to the recovery process once and for all. No matter how hard it gets or how many times you may relapse – do not give up! Re-read this book once per month as you begin the journey to rid yourself of this addiction. Stay focused, committed and keep your eye on the prize.
You might be sad thinking I’m taking something cherished away from you, but in reality I’m giving something invaluable back to you.
Your life...
Your one life.
Now, go make it count.
Taken from the book by Ferebee Andrew called The Porn Pandemic: A Simple Guide To Understanding And Ending Pornography Addiction For Men
downhillfromhere
Well-Known Member
I like it, thank you Ezel!
I sure could use a reminder from time to time not to go back to what is comfortable and embrace the struggle instead.
I sure could use a reminder from time to time not to go back to what is comfortable and embrace the struggle instead.
Ezel
Respected Member
Day 19, no po, no mo (monk mode).
At this point, what legitimate, compelling, and beneficial reason is there for you to continue watching porn?
Don’t worry, I’ll wait...
Would you convince your family or children to firmly believe in these reasons to why you watch porn?
Would you give a commencement speech at your local university on this?
Look, at some point there must be a confession: “I’m addicted to porn and I’m serious about quitting and I never want to go back!”
Just because it’s socially accepted amongst other males and the rest of society to masturbate to porn doesn’t mean you should latch onto the majority opinion... for anything actually.
A critical factor that will dictate your success at quitting masturbation and porn use is your ability to get away from your computer and into the real world. If you spend a lot of time on a computer or at home alone, then chances are you will easily succumb to the desires of porn again.
I want you to have a real social life engaging with men and women regularly versus having a healthy digital life filled with social media and porn.
When you first start Stage 1, reduce Internet usage for the first 30 days. Embark into the real world and explore more of life.
What were the hobbies and passions you used to enjoy or would like to start? Go to trendy coffee shops and read books, walk through parks, hiking, runs, gyms, martial arts, yoga classes, farmers markets, toastmasters speaking clubs, comedy clubs, improv clubs, learn to play the guitar or piano, art galleries, the beach, nearby historical landmarks, try different types of cuisines, cooking classes, travel – well, you get the idea: go do things outside in the real world more often.
Join meetup.com and add 25 different interest groups to your account and make it an effort to join at least 1 or 2 meetups per week. Become the interesting well-rounded type of grounded man that you’ve always wanted to become. How else could you better spend your time?
Put it simply, go enjoy real life not a digital life.
Identify what matters most to you:
What are the top 5 things that matter most to me in my life?
What personal goals do I want to achieve?
What are the values I believe and want to uphold?
Who is most important to me in my life and how do I want to treat him/her?
What personal traits do I want to convey to others?
How would I like to contribute to the lives of people I care about?
How would I like to contribute to my community and society?
In what ways does porn use conflict with my values, beliefs, and life goals?
How much time have you really wasted watching porn? 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years?
You could have earned a black belt in a martial art, mastered an instrument, built a 7-figure business, improved your dating life, found the woman of your dreams, or fallen even more in love with your existing partner. All in all, you could have spent that time more wisely mastering some valuable skill set that would have benefited you today and made you a more grounded man.
You create the life you want with the habits you develop.
Get social. Go out. Build and have real relationships. Go into hobbies. Meetups. Travel. Go on adventures. Reach out to old friends and family. Plan trips. Take a lead role in your life and don’t be a bystander of circumstance.
A healthy sex life improves the quality of your life, unlike the quick fix you get with porn. Porn does not have any long-term benefits, just long-term emotional and psychological costs that aren’t even fully understood since it’s a new phenomenon.
This is it.
Taken from the book "the porn pandemic"
At this point, what legitimate, compelling, and beneficial reason is there for you to continue watching porn?
Don’t worry, I’ll wait...
Would you convince your family or children to firmly believe in these reasons to why you watch porn?
Would you give a commencement speech at your local university on this?
Look, at some point there must be a confession: “I’m addicted to porn and I’m serious about quitting and I never want to go back!”
Just because it’s socially accepted amongst other males and the rest of society to masturbate to porn doesn’t mean you should latch onto the majority opinion... for anything actually.
A critical factor that will dictate your success at quitting masturbation and porn use is your ability to get away from your computer and into the real world. If you spend a lot of time on a computer or at home alone, then chances are you will easily succumb to the desires of porn again.
I want you to have a real social life engaging with men and women regularly versus having a healthy digital life filled with social media and porn.
When you first start Stage 1, reduce Internet usage for the first 30 days. Embark into the real world and explore more of life.
What were the hobbies and passions you used to enjoy or would like to start? Go to trendy coffee shops and read books, walk through parks, hiking, runs, gyms, martial arts, yoga classes, farmers markets, toastmasters speaking clubs, comedy clubs, improv clubs, learn to play the guitar or piano, art galleries, the beach, nearby historical landmarks, try different types of cuisines, cooking classes, travel – well, you get the idea: go do things outside in the real world more often.
Join meetup.com and add 25 different interest groups to your account and make it an effort to join at least 1 or 2 meetups per week. Become the interesting well-rounded type of grounded man that you’ve always wanted to become. How else could you better spend your time?
Put it simply, go enjoy real life not a digital life.
Identify what matters most to you:
What are the top 5 things that matter most to me in my life?
What personal goals do I want to achieve?
What are the values I believe and want to uphold?
Who is most important to me in my life and how do I want to treat him/her?
What personal traits do I want to convey to others?
How would I like to contribute to the lives of people I care about?
How would I like to contribute to my community and society?
In what ways does porn use conflict with my values, beliefs, and life goals?
How much time have you really wasted watching porn? 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years?
You could have earned a black belt in a martial art, mastered an instrument, built a 7-figure business, improved your dating life, found the woman of your dreams, or fallen even more in love with your existing partner. All in all, you could have spent that time more wisely mastering some valuable skill set that would have benefited you today and made you a more grounded man.
You create the life you want with the habits you develop.
Get social. Go out. Build and have real relationships. Go into hobbies. Meetups. Travel. Go on adventures. Reach out to old friends and family. Plan trips. Take a lead role in your life and don’t be a bystander of circumstance.
A healthy sex life improves the quality of your life, unlike the quick fix you get with porn. Porn does not have any long-term benefits, just long-term emotional and psychological costs that aren’t even fully understood since it’s a new phenomenon.
This is it.
Taken from the book "the porn pandemic"
Ezel
Respected Member
Day 20, no po, no mo (monk mode).
How Porn Rewires Your Brain
“We become what we think about all day long.”– Ralph Waldo Emerson
When you watch porn your brain thinks you are having sex. Horniness is the evolutionary drive that pushes you to do whatever is necessary to have sex and make babies.
Your brain can’t comprehend the difference between watching a video and having real sex. Your brain’s mirror neurons visualize you doing the same thing, and a part of your brain responds as if you were. It’s kind of like how when watching a scary movie we cringe or jump out of our seats. Or a sad movie can make you cry and feel sad. The brain thinks something that you watch digitally is actually happening to you in real life, and it acts accordingly. If you’re watching multiple porn scenes (which is usually the case for most porn binges), your brain thinks you are having sex with multiple partners.
To sum it up, all this sex overstimulates your brain, which desensitizes it, causes problems in your sex life, and reduces your ability to enjoy life.
Let’s break this down.
Dopamine is a brain chemical that motivates you to do something that your brain thinks will make it feel good like having sex or eating food.
Our brain makes us experience pleasure when we engage in these life-giving and enjoyable activities, which have kept humans alive for millions of years.
Your brain uses dopamine, a neurochemical, to train you to recognize activities that are good and bad. When you do actions that your brain says are good for survival, it rewards you with a shot of dopamine that triggers the sensation of pleasure and stimulates memory and concentration. It creates arousal and excitement just before you have sex, pushing you to complete what you started.
For instance, think of a Thanksgiving dinner where you starved yourself all day and finally your aunt said, “Okay it’s ready, everyone grab a plate!” And remember that sensation as you rushed to the kitchen to fill up your plate. You sat down and shoved endless amounts of food into your mouth without even chewing because you were so excited. That intense rush? Yes, that’s dopamine.
Or imagine when you saw a woman walking right by you, and she seemed to be the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen, and you got a rush of both excitement and nervousness. Yes, that’s dopamine too.
Or think about when you had a new business idea that you believed would change an industry, and you were the first one ever to think of it... yeah, that’s just dopamine.
Now that we understand what dopamine is and how it makes you feel, the question remains: How does it relate to porn?
The problem with porn is that it gives off a massive shot of dopamine to your brain. It’s too much dopamine for your brain to handle at once because you’re brain was never designed to handle unlimited amounts of porn of highly attractive women with enlarged breasts and perfect to hip-weight ratios. It’s simply unreal and too good for your brain too handle.
The dopamine rush as you’re watching porn encourages you to masturbate to produce even more dopamine. Simultaneously, you release even more happy chemicals in your brain like serotonin and dopamine, which ends in an orgasm.
Why would anyone not enjoy this?
It’s easy, it feels good, and it’s free... and that’s exactly the problem.
Sexual arousal is nature’s number one priority driven by dopamine. Your brain starts to crave more and more, causing you to watch more and more porn.
Sexual stimulation and orgasm give our brains’ reward systems the biggest natural shot of dopamine of all. This makes sense. That big dopamine shot from an orgasm then goes on to wire our brain’s reward system to encourage us to repeat whatever behavior we did to get sex so we can continue to get sex in the future.
But the problem is you’re not having sex at all, and your brain cannot differentiate the difference between porn and real sex remember. It thinks you’re winning in life when you’re watching porn, so it’s reacting as it should. Don’t blame your brain. Your brain thinks you’re mating with real women, so it encourages you to go do whatever you just did to get that stimulus again since it’s wired to do that.
Pay attention this is when it gets even more dangerous...
The Internet gives you an unlimited variety of sexual experiences. This variety means that when viewed, dopamine shoots to your brain, training you to search for more and more porn.
And what you once found arousing over time will no longer be arousing. You develop a level of tolerance to past experiences. So you search for different types of novel porn such as anal, gangbang, incest, teen, cartoon porn, and so on to give you that same level of dopamine rush you now need to ejaculate.
This tolerance can take years to develop, but it’s very easy to develop since the pleasure reward system of your brain loves watching porn, masturbating, and orgasms.
Neurons firing and wiring together are also how our habits are formed. When you receive a shot of dopamine after receiving some reward – whether food, sex, or novelty – your brain strengthens the neurons that fired and wired together to achieve the reward so that you will repeat the process and can get it again in the future. The rewiring involves connecting the cues and behavior that led to a pleasurable reward.
This cue behavior reward connection is what author Charles Duhigg calls The Habit Loop. Cues cause dopamine to release, such as sitting at a computer alone late at night. Or it means surfing Instagram or some other social media outlets where you see half-naked women. Or cues to watch porn come when you’re just feeling a little depressed, bored, distracted, or stressed.
Repeat this circuit for a few days or weeks and you’ve got a connection that leads to you checking out porn without even thinking about it – and worse, you can’t control it. It can become difficult to control because it’s now wired into your brain. Porn surfing simply becomes a habit.
Throughout most of your brain’s evolution, sex was a limited commodity, and it was a good survival strategy to look for sex whenever possible. Now that you have access to an infinite amount of sex online, this is no longer a good strategy.
Too much sexual stimulation has health risks of its own like reduced sensitivity to dopamine, which reduces the enjoyment of activities you once found pleasurable.
The only way for you to feel “good” again is to continue watching heavier and heavier scenes of porn such as gangbangs, abuse, incest, and double penetration, which sends you into a downward spiral of porn addiction.
Yes, porn rewires your brain.
How Porn Rewires Your Brain
“We become what we think about all day long.”– Ralph Waldo Emerson
When you watch porn your brain thinks you are having sex. Horniness is the evolutionary drive that pushes you to do whatever is necessary to have sex and make babies.
Your brain can’t comprehend the difference between watching a video and having real sex. Your brain’s mirror neurons visualize you doing the same thing, and a part of your brain responds as if you were. It’s kind of like how when watching a scary movie we cringe or jump out of our seats. Or a sad movie can make you cry and feel sad. The brain thinks something that you watch digitally is actually happening to you in real life, and it acts accordingly. If you’re watching multiple porn scenes (which is usually the case for most porn binges), your brain thinks you are having sex with multiple partners.
To sum it up, all this sex overstimulates your brain, which desensitizes it, causes problems in your sex life, and reduces your ability to enjoy life.
Let’s break this down.
Dopamine is a brain chemical that motivates you to do something that your brain thinks will make it feel good like having sex or eating food.
Our brain makes us experience pleasure when we engage in these life-giving and enjoyable activities, which have kept humans alive for millions of years.
Your brain uses dopamine, a neurochemical, to train you to recognize activities that are good and bad. When you do actions that your brain says are good for survival, it rewards you with a shot of dopamine that triggers the sensation of pleasure and stimulates memory and concentration. It creates arousal and excitement just before you have sex, pushing you to complete what you started.
For instance, think of a Thanksgiving dinner where you starved yourself all day and finally your aunt said, “Okay it’s ready, everyone grab a plate!” And remember that sensation as you rushed to the kitchen to fill up your plate. You sat down and shoved endless amounts of food into your mouth without even chewing because you were so excited. That intense rush? Yes, that’s dopamine.
Or imagine when you saw a woman walking right by you, and she seemed to be the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen, and you got a rush of both excitement and nervousness. Yes, that’s dopamine too.
Or think about when you had a new business idea that you believed would change an industry, and you were the first one ever to think of it... yeah, that’s just dopamine.
Now that we understand what dopamine is and how it makes you feel, the question remains: How does it relate to porn?
The problem with porn is that it gives off a massive shot of dopamine to your brain. It’s too much dopamine for your brain to handle at once because you’re brain was never designed to handle unlimited amounts of porn of highly attractive women with enlarged breasts and perfect to hip-weight ratios. It’s simply unreal and too good for your brain too handle.
The dopamine rush as you’re watching porn encourages you to masturbate to produce even more dopamine. Simultaneously, you release even more happy chemicals in your brain like serotonin and dopamine, which ends in an orgasm.
Why would anyone not enjoy this?
It’s easy, it feels good, and it’s free... and that’s exactly the problem.
Sexual arousal is nature’s number one priority driven by dopamine. Your brain starts to crave more and more, causing you to watch more and more porn.
Sexual stimulation and orgasm give our brains’ reward systems the biggest natural shot of dopamine of all. This makes sense. That big dopamine shot from an orgasm then goes on to wire our brain’s reward system to encourage us to repeat whatever behavior we did to get sex so we can continue to get sex in the future.
But the problem is you’re not having sex at all, and your brain cannot differentiate the difference between porn and real sex remember. It thinks you’re winning in life when you’re watching porn, so it’s reacting as it should. Don’t blame your brain. Your brain thinks you’re mating with real women, so it encourages you to go do whatever you just did to get that stimulus again since it’s wired to do that.
Pay attention this is when it gets even more dangerous...
The Internet gives you an unlimited variety of sexual experiences. This variety means that when viewed, dopamine shoots to your brain, training you to search for more and more porn.
And what you once found arousing over time will no longer be arousing. You develop a level of tolerance to past experiences. So you search for different types of novel porn such as anal, gangbang, incest, teen, cartoon porn, and so on to give you that same level of dopamine rush you now need to ejaculate.
This tolerance can take years to develop, but it’s very easy to develop since the pleasure reward system of your brain loves watching porn, masturbating, and orgasms.
Neurons firing and wiring together are also how our habits are formed. When you receive a shot of dopamine after receiving some reward – whether food, sex, or novelty – your brain strengthens the neurons that fired and wired together to achieve the reward so that you will repeat the process and can get it again in the future. The rewiring involves connecting the cues and behavior that led to a pleasurable reward.
This cue behavior reward connection is what author Charles Duhigg calls The Habit Loop. Cues cause dopamine to release, such as sitting at a computer alone late at night. Or it means surfing Instagram or some other social media outlets where you see half-naked women. Or cues to watch porn come when you’re just feeling a little depressed, bored, distracted, or stressed.
Repeat this circuit for a few days or weeks and you’ve got a connection that leads to you checking out porn without even thinking about it – and worse, you can’t control it. It can become difficult to control because it’s now wired into your brain. Porn surfing simply becomes a habit.
Throughout most of your brain’s evolution, sex was a limited commodity, and it was a good survival strategy to look for sex whenever possible. Now that you have access to an infinite amount of sex online, this is no longer a good strategy.
Too much sexual stimulation has health risks of its own like reduced sensitivity to dopamine, which reduces the enjoyment of activities you once found pleasurable.
The only way for you to feel “good” again is to continue watching heavier and heavier scenes of porn such as gangbangs, abuse, incest, and double penetration, which sends you into a downward spiral of porn addiction.
Yes, porn rewires your brain.
Ezel
Respected Member
Day 21, no po, no mo (monk mode).
From the book "the porn pandemic".
Why Porn Is More Dangerous than Cocaine and Heroin
“Everything in the world is about sex except, sex. Sex is about power.”– Oscar Wilde
Speaking before the U.S. Senate in 2004, Dr. Jeffrey Satinover stated, “Modern science allows us to understand that the underlying nature of an addiction to pornography is chemically identical to a heroin addiction.”
Cocaine and heroin provide an instant rush of dopamine to your brain, giving you that euphoric feel good effect.
So does porn.
But porn is more dangerous than cocaine and heroin because unlike most addictive behaviors such as alcohol, drugs, and gambling, porn has no barriers. Psychologists and addiction experts have found that if an addiction meets fewer and fewer of what is known as the three As of addiction, it’s easier to become an addict:
Accessibility
Affordability
Anonymity
Most addictions, like alcohol or drug addictions, will have one or two of those. But cost is often the biggest barrier for most addicts. But what is astounding is that porn meets all three conditions:
Accessibility: You can go online and watch unlimited amounts of porn within seconds.
Affordability: It’s free.
Anonymity: It’s on your phone or computer and no one will ever know.
Knowing this can help you understand why porn is so dangerous.
The environment for a porn user to become an addict is the easiest of all known addictions in the world.
Your brain views sex as a top priority, not alcohol, drugs, or gambling. When you give a porn user unending novelty for free, he will abuse it not because something is wrong with him but because it’s wired into his DNA.
And since your brain cannot differentiate the difference between porn and real sex, then the porn user is only doing what he is supposed to do. It’s not his fault that he is aroused by porn and watches dozens of scenes
Let’s take this example for instance. The main barriers of alcohol are the age limit, the cost, and the hangover. What if at any age, with the press of one button, you could order an endless amount of alcohol to your house, no one would ever know how much you drank, and the next day you would have no hangover
Yes, in that case we would all be alcoholics
Now imagine a world where every type of alcohol was free and no matter how much you drank it cost you nothing... This is the world of porn, since there is no age limit (enforced), it costs nothing, and no one will ever know if you watched it
Psychologists say addictive behaviors will meet some barriers. We’ve already discussed cost. But there’s also the barrier of privacy. If you drank a bottle of whiskey before or during work, then people would know something was wrong with you and you’d get caught.
Yet if you watch porn no one will ever know, and surprisingly the porn usage is mostly done on mobile devices, why? Because it’s typically viewed in the privacy of your room. I bet your friends and family have gone years without ever knowing that you’ve been watching porn and that you may have a problem with it.
Now because the barriers are so low, and it’s a free-for-all online, there’s the perfect environment for an addiction to develop.
Let’s get this clear: Porn is a sexual stimulant and it’s the most dangerous kind of stimulant in the world.
Porn use and drug use have a lot in common. When cocaine users escalate their behavior, they need bigger and more frequent hits of cocaine. When porn users escalate their behavior, they need more extreme porn more frequently. You need a bigger dose to keep generating the same dopamine reward.
In practice, porn sessions become longer and more frequent. Your brain tries to make up in quantity for what it can’t get in quality. An extreme user may spend hours each day watching porn.
Eventually it can get really weird and taboo to become something violent, disgusting, dangerous, or even illegal. Or possibly it gets to the point where a man goes off the computer and starts to engage in strip clubs, prostitutes, and illegal sex work.
Violent material can feature degradation, verbal abuse, rape scenes and serious physical and traumatic injuries to women. Disgusting material can feature incest porn, sex with animals, urine, feces, or anything objectionable that will produce the desired effect. Dangerous material is anything where you or the performer would be in trouble if caught, such as material with underage girls or sneaky pictures or a video you took without the person’s consent.
It can take years to develop this level of porn usage – it’s not something that happens overnight. But if you look back at your porn use, you may see that it slowly started with casual sex, then moved on to anal, and then turned into more violent, disgusting or dangerous scenes.
Next time you watch a porn scene that you like, consider how extreme it is in violence, disgusting elements, and danger.
Did you always like this kind of scene or would you have found it too extreme earlier in your life?
From the book "the porn pandemic".
Why Porn Is More Dangerous than Cocaine and Heroin
“Everything in the world is about sex except, sex. Sex is about power.”– Oscar Wilde
Speaking before the U.S. Senate in 2004, Dr. Jeffrey Satinover stated, “Modern science allows us to understand that the underlying nature of an addiction to pornography is chemically identical to a heroin addiction.”
Cocaine and heroin provide an instant rush of dopamine to your brain, giving you that euphoric feel good effect.
So does porn.
But porn is more dangerous than cocaine and heroin because unlike most addictive behaviors such as alcohol, drugs, and gambling, porn has no barriers. Psychologists and addiction experts have found that if an addiction meets fewer and fewer of what is known as the three As of addiction, it’s easier to become an addict:
Accessibility
Affordability
Anonymity
Most addictions, like alcohol or drug addictions, will have one or two of those. But cost is often the biggest barrier for most addicts. But what is astounding is that porn meets all three conditions:
Accessibility: You can go online and watch unlimited amounts of porn within seconds.
Affordability: It’s free.
Anonymity: It’s on your phone or computer and no one will ever know.
Knowing this can help you understand why porn is so dangerous.
The environment for a porn user to become an addict is the easiest of all known addictions in the world.
Your brain views sex as a top priority, not alcohol, drugs, or gambling. When you give a porn user unending novelty for free, he will abuse it not because something is wrong with him but because it’s wired into his DNA.
And since your brain cannot differentiate the difference between porn and real sex, then the porn user is only doing what he is supposed to do. It’s not his fault that he is aroused by porn and watches dozens of scenes
Let’s take this example for instance. The main barriers of alcohol are the age limit, the cost, and the hangover. What if at any age, with the press of one button, you could order an endless amount of alcohol to your house, no one would ever know how much you drank, and the next day you would have no hangover
Yes, in that case we would all be alcoholics
Now imagine a world where every type of alcohol was free and no matter how much you drank it cost you nothing... This is the world of porn, since there is no age limit (enforced), it costs nothing, and no one will ever know if you watched it
Psychologists say addictive behaviors will meet some barriers. We’ve already discussed cost. But there’s also the barrier of privacy. If you drank a bottle of whiskey before or during work, then people would know something was wrong with you and you’d get caught.
Yet if you watch porn no one will ever know, and surprisingly the porn usage is mostly done on mobile devices, why? Because it’s typically viewed in the privacy of your room. I bet your friends and family have gone years without ever knowing that you’ve been watching porn and that you may have a problem with it.
Now because the barriers are so low, and it’s a free-for-all online, there’s the perfect environment for an addiction to develop.
Let’s get this clear: Porn is a sexual stimulant and it’s the most dangerous kind of stimulant in the world.
Porn use and drug use have a lot in common. When cocaine users escalate their behavior, they need bigger and more frequent hits of cocaine. When porn users escalate their behavior, they need more extreme porn more frequently. You need a bigger dose to keep generating the same dopamine reward.
In practice, porn sessions become longer and more frequent. Your brain tries to make up in quantity for what it can’t get in quality. An extreme user may spend hours each day watching porn.
Eventually it can get really weird and taboo to become something violent, disgusting, dangerous, or even illegal. Or possibly it gets to the point where a man goes off the computer and starts to engage in strip clubs, prostitutes, and illegal sex work.
Violent material can feature degradation, verbal abuse, rape scenes and serious physical and traumatic injuries to women. Disgusting material can feature incest porn, sex with animals, urine, feces, or anything objectionable that will produce the desired effect. Dangerous material is anything where you or the performer would be in trouble if caught, such as material with underage girls or sneaky pictures or a video you took without the person’s consent.
It can take years to develop this level of porn usage – it’s not something that happens overnight. But if you look back at your porn use, you may see that it slowly started with casual sex, then moved on to anal, and then turned into more violent, disgusting or dangerous scenes.
Next time you watch a porn scene that you like, consider how extreme it is in violence, disgusting elements, and danger.
Did you always like this kind of scene or would you have found it too extreme earlier in your life?
downhillfromhere
Well-Known Member
This is some really nasty stuff we’ve got ourselves into. I’ve heard all of this in some form or another over the past months, but seeing it written out like this makes an impression.
Thanks Ezel!
Thanks Ezel!
Ezel
Respected Member
Day 22, no po, no mo (monk mode).
Taken from the book the porn pandemic.
The 3 Types of Porn Users
“Not feeling is no replacement for reality. Your problems today are still your problems tomorrow.”– Larry Dredla
The three different types and stages of porn use are the casual user, the at-risk user, and the addict.
The casual user watches porn for fun. It’s an occasional distraction depending on life circumstances but not too extreme nor does it block out important activities. It’s more of an enjoyable distraction, a sporadic form of escape or relaxation that is NOT as satisfying or meaningful as real intimate connections.
The frequency of use is driven by life-changing events.
For the casual user, there is no history of neglect or abuse. Porn and online sexual experiences are not sustained because they feel unrealistic, and he’d rather pursue real relationships with women. He doesn’t experience any shame or high levels of guilt after watching porn.
An at-risk user will have periods of intense engagement, and it is a distraction from other life challenges. But he does know how to put a limit on it or stop when he starts to experience more serious consequences.
The at-risk user will typically keep it as a secret in exchange for looking good or being accepted, although he may have a potential history of abuse for recreation, spending, gambling, sex and other high intensity behaviors as a result of reacting to life stressors. The main difference that makes an at-risk user different from an addict is that the at-risk user has the ability to stop when he sees it’s becoming a problem. An addict has lost the ability to choose to stop.
Addicts turn to digital sexual fantasies to fill an emotional void. They cannot stop negative behaviors even when they are not helping their life or even have a desire for change.
They know what they’re doing is hurting them, yet they still keep doing it. They typically are depressed or are experiencing severe emotional challenges or have a history of substance abuse, childhood abuse, neglect, family dysfunction, addiction, mental illness, and lifelong fears of being unwanted or “not enough,” so they use porn and masturbation to replace intimate personal relationships and peer support altogether.
There could also be history of unresolved adult trauma, having short-term infrequent relationships, and being emotionally distant from friendships and family even if they are physically in close proximity.
Addicts find as much intensity, excitement, and distraction in the search for the next sexual thrill as in the sex act itself. Fantasies pull addicts into an emotional state that renders them unable to make better choices or even consider how their behaviors might affect others or themselves.
Questions to ask yourself:
Do you find yourself spending increasing amounts of time online looking at porn and/or engaging in sexual or romantic fantasy, even when you have more important things to accomplish in your life that you are putting aside?
Have you promised yourself that you would stop viewing certain porn websites or using apps and find yourself back there again?
Do you collect porn?
Have you had negative consequences at work, in school, or in relationships and other important areas of your life related to porn use?
Has your porn use led to a reduction in friends, family, recreational activities?
Has your porn use caused you to lose anything or anyone important to you?
Do you lie or keep secrets about your porn use?
Do you hide your porn use so others won’t discover it?
Do you feel like your porn use is interfering with personal goals, relationships, and healthy intimacy?
Do you become defensive or extremely ashamed when you look at porn?
If you found yourself saying yes to any of the above questions, then I want this to be a slap in the face for you. Wake up! If you continue down this path, it will only be a matter of time before you move from your current stage to the next.
Taken from the book the porn pandemic.
The 3 Types of Porn Users
“Not feeling is no replacement for reality. Your problems today are still your problems tomorrow.”– Larry Dredla
The three different types and stages of porn use are the casual user, the at-risk user, and the addict.
The casual user watches porn for fun. It’s an occasional distraction depending on life circumstances but not too extreme nor does it block out important activities. It’s more of an enjoyable distraction, a sporadic form of escape or relaxation that is NOT as satisfying or meaningful as real intimate connections.
The frequency of use is driven by life-changing events.
For the casual user, there is no history of neglect or abuse. Porn and online sexual experiences are not sustained because they feel unrealistic, and he’d rather pursue real relationships with women. He doesn’t experience any shame or high levels of guilt after watching porn.
An at-risk user will have periods of intense engagement, and it is a distraction from other life challenges. But he does know how to put a limit on it or stop when he starts to experience more serious consequences.
The at-risk user will typically keep it as a secret in exchange for looking good or being accepted, although he may have a potential history of abuse for recreation, spending, gambling, sex and other high intensity behaviors as a result of reacting to life stressors. The main difference that makes an at-risk user different from an addict is that the at-risk user has the ability to stop when he sees it’s becoming a problem. An addict has lost the ability to choose to stop.
Addicts turn to digital sexual fantasies to fill an emotional void. They cannot stop negative behaviors even when they are not helping their life or even have a desire for change.
They know what they’re doing is hurting them, yet they still keep doing it. They typically are depressed or are experiencing severe emotional challenges or have a history of substance abuse, childhood abuse, neglect, family dysfunction, addiction, mental illness, and lifelong fears of being unwanted or “not enough,” so they use porn and masturbation to replace intimate personal relationships and peer support altogether.
There could also be history of unresolved adult trauma, having short-term infrequent relationships, and being emotionally distant from friendships and family even if they are physically in close proximity.
Addicts find as much intensity, excitement, and distraction in the search for the next sexual thrill as in the sex act itself. Fantasies pull addicts into an emotional state that renders them unable to make better choices or even consider how their behaviors might affect others or themselves.
Questions to ask yourself:
Do you find yourself spending increasing amounts of time online looking at porn and/or engaging in sexual or romantic fantasy, even when you have more important things to accomplish in your life that you are putting aside?
Have you promised yourself that you would stop viewing certain porn websites or using apps and find yourself back there again?
Do you collect porn?
Have you had negative consequences at work, in school, or in relationships and other important areas of your life related to porn use?
Has your porn use led to a reduction in friends, family, recreational activities?
Has your porn use caused you to lose anything or anyone important to you?
Do you lie or keep secrets about your porn use?
Do you hide your porn use so others won’t discover it?
Do you feel like your porn use is interfering with personal goals, relationships, and healthy intimacy?
Do you become defensive or extremely ashamed when you look at porn?
If you found yourself saying yes to any of the above questions, then I want this to be a slap in the face for you. Wake up! If you continue down this path, it will only be a matter of time before you move from your current stage to the next.