Miles to Go

Chuckles

Active Member
Day 129
Sorry I've been absent. I still have a ton of stuff going on. Still no PMO, and it's like 3 or 4 weeks of no MO at this point. I probably should have journaled my last MO, but didn't realize it would be my last one for a while.

The kink thing has been going well. I've met some great people, and I feel comfortable in my own skin around them. With all new groups there's ups and downs, but overall I like it. The online profile images haven't been much of an issue. I just kind of go past them. There are times I look and admire, but not like I used to. I think it's transitioned into more of "She's hot, I'd like to meet her in person." and not an immediate urge to PMO
 

Chuckles

Active Member
Wow it's been a while!
I'll actually be not on here for the next week. I just wanted to pop in and let everyone know that I still haven't looked at porn. Which is good. I've received a few unsolicited nudes, and 1 solicited. So there's that. But no masturbation to those images, so there's still that.
 

Chuckles

Active Member
Day 156
I honestly feel like I'm on auto pilot PMO wise. It's not as big of an issue, just a background thing.
I contracted COVID, tested positive Sunday. Which means I've been alone in my room with a TV, computer, and smart phone. Not an issue. I'm really proud of myself for the progress I've made. The me from a year ago would have been unable to hold back the urge. I will confess that coming here to journal can sometimes remind me what I've given up, which can then restart those urges a little bit. Nothing crazy, but enough to remind me what it's like.

I met someone. She's amazing :D Attractive, smart, kind, funny, caring, spectacular in bed. We're going to try long distance. I know that's going to present its own challenges, but I'm looking forward to it.
Bit of a poll here: is sexting with a long-distance significant other considered PMO? It hasn't come up yet, but I'm pretty sure it will. On the one hand, it's not a flesh and blood body in front of me. On the other hand, we both have needs and it's the best we can do considering we live so far apart. I know everyone's journey is different, but does anyone have thoughts/insight on this?
 

SimonM

Active Member
I wouldn't consider anything PMO that is between you and a partner you are dating. They key to observe would maybe be whether you objectify her sexually or if you still have a whole human relationship with her? I think we need to be careful to keep seeing the women around us has human beings, with needs, flaws, emotions, and yes a body we love. But if it's mainly the body that keeps us hooked then it could definitely go in an unhealthy direction eventually right?

If you do it also carefully observe after whether it makes you want to act out with P when she's not available. That would be a red flag.
 

Chuckles

Active Member
Day 168
Urge to MO high. Urge to PMO starting to reemerge. I haven't seriously exercised in over 2 months, aside from 2 or 3 walks.
I've gotta make the change. I don't want to backslide.
 
@Chuckles stay strong! day 168 is huge and i cannot wait to accomplish what you have. You've got this. never the wrong time to start exercising again and walking def counts i walk every work day I eat for 30 min then walk the other 30 minutes. It what started and eventually led to my beginning to weightlift. Go go go!!!!
 

Chuckles

Active Member
@Chuckles stay strong! day 168 is huge and i cannot wait to accomplish what you have. You've got this. never the wrong time to start exercising again and walking def counts i walk every work day I eat for 30 min then walk the other 30 minutes. It what started and eventually led to my beginning to weightlift. Go go go!!!!
It's way too hot here to walk during the work day, but I'd like to wake up before the sun and get at least a mile or two in
 

Chuckles

Active Member
Day 172
August 10th will be 6 months! I'm pretty stoked!

Thank you everyone for your responses and encouragement. @WinkTinkTillium @GeminiMan @Blondie and everyone else

Last night I told my long-distance GF about my addiction and recovery. Mostly because I feel like it'll be relevant to our sex life. I feel scared about being that vulnerable. I'm scared that the more of my crazy she sees, the more likely she is to decide I'm not for her. And I hope that that's all in my head, but all I can do is be the best man/boyfriend I can be. And I'd rather have her know that not know.

Still no PMO, but last night I went a little too far with MO. IDK like 6 sessions? Mental fantasy about exes, and for a second a porn star popped into my head but I conciously shifted away from that. It doesn't break my porn free streak, but it's a red flag and dangerous territory. In response to that I commit to waking up at 5 AM every weekday this week, and having gym clothes out and ready. I will go to the gym and either treadmill for 30 minutes or do my weight routine at least 3 times. That, I think, was the most effective thing when I started this journey, and it's been close to 3 months since I got any good amount of exercise in. No more sitting around!
 

GeminiMan

Active Member
Day 172
August 10th will be 6 months! I'm pretty stoked!

Thank you everyone for your responses and encouragement. @WinkTinkTillium @GeminiMan @Blondie and everyone else

Last night I told my long-distance GF about my addiction and recovery. Mostly because I feel like it'll be relevant to our sex life. I feel scared about being that vulnerable. I'm scared that the more of my crazy she sees, the more likely she is to decide I'm not for her. And I hope that that's all in my head, but all I can do is be the best man/boyfriend I can be. And I'd rather have her know that not know.

Still no PMO, but last night I went a little too far with MO. IDK like 6 sessions? Mental fantasy about exes, and for a second a porn star popped into my head but I conciously shifted away from that. It doesn't break my porn free streak, but it's a red flag and dangerous territory. In response to that I commit to waking up at 5 AM every weekday this week, and having gym clothes out and ready. I will go to the gym and either treadmill for 30 minutes or do my weight routine at least 3 times. That, I think, was the most effective thing when I started this journey, and it's been close to 3 months since I got any good amount of exercise in. No more sitting around!
Love this !
I myself read a book called “the 5 am club” by Robin Sharma .

although I never wake up at 5 am
But the hype around the 5 am according to author is that you get a “head start” when you exercises first thing in the morning and release a lot of good hormones and then you “outperform” your competition and “hit the bed” earlier than most addicted people who spend lot of night in addiction and all in all it results in all overall increase in your productivity and progress and prosperity and happiness in your personal life and makes you a successful man , a “big boy” eventually .
 

GeminiMan

Active Member
Love this !
I myself read a book called “the 5 am club” by Robin Sharma .

although I never wake up at 5 am
But the hype around the 5 am according to author is that you get a “head start” when you exercises first thing in the morning and release a lot of good hormones and then you “outperform” your competition and “hit the bed” earlier than most addicted jerks and all in all it results in all overall increase in your productivity and progress and prosperity and happiness in your personal life and makes you a successful man , a “big boy” eventually .
There are certain projects in my life that are far overdue and if I’d commit to 5 am club I know I will check off all those overdue projects in a few Months .

@Chuckles Let me join you from tomorrow at the 5 am club :)
 
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