Pride and joy

downhillfromhere

Well-Known Member
Sorry to hear it! Like others have said, it's so important to think about the whole picture right now - losing your streak sucks, but more importantly you're building resilience and your ability to cope without P. Making it 40 days is huge, it's certainly a big step towards living the life you want. Keep actively working on those things you want out of life, and porn will eventually be nothing but a memory. "You are what you do all day."
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
PR, your journey, your approach, your attitude are things I admire among rebooters here. I appreciate so much of your approaches as I see in them strong elements of a successful recovery. Your goal setting is admirable, your attitude is always amazing, you seem to have a sober view of the future you want to create, you have a good self-awareness, and above all, you offer so much encouragement and help to other rebooters- and that is a 'secret strength' you can take advantage of.

Sure, you fell- as we all seem to do. My streaks aren't always as lengthy as I want, and even this year I'm struggling to make lasting changes. I can say there's a lot of hope for me in my new approaches, but it seems that my efforts can 'turn on a dime'- and in a moment I can find myself in a precarious situation. But what do we focus on?

I've seen many rebooters after a lapse, especially if it was somewhat lengthy, and they struggle to find traction again. Why? Because they're beating themselves up, they feel progress was lost, and of course they're discouraged. I remember the last lapse you recorded, and I'm impressed that there were lengthy streaks in between the last one and this one- and I know you're serious about quitting.

Progress you've made so far has not been lost, and all this is a normal part of the process. You got this!
 

downhillfromhere

Well-Known Member
Day 2 of not using porn

Thank you @downhillfromhere! "Porn will eventually be nothing but a memory" - I REALLY hope so
I have been following your journal too. Seems you are making great progress. Keep at it brother 💪
We can do this. I relapsed today, but I'm dusting myself off and getting right back out there. Thank you for being an inspiration, you've got some great stuff going on!
 
Day 3 of not using porn

Thank you for your messages @Phineas 808 and @downhillfromhere!

downhill - sorry to hear about your relapse. I also read about it in your journal
Sounds like you have a good plan to improve your defenses. You got this brother - and I plan to be right there too when you hit 30 days 💪

Phineas - thank you for the kind and meaningful words
When I read your journal it seems you have a very "comprehensive" approach that is not just focused on porn but also being introspective and making a plan for improvement
That is the kind of thing I want to work toward. Thank you for helping to develop my views on this topic
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
When I read your journal it seems you have a very "comprehensive" approach that is not just focused on porn but also being introspective and making a plan for improvement
That is the kind of thing I want to work toward. Thank you for helping to develop my views on this topic

You're welcome, brother. And how it looks is true, but it feels very organic and natural to me. Having tried and discarded so many approaches (including the disease model of addiction), what I am left with is very natural feeling, spiritual in essence (which may apply whether or not one were 'spiritual'), and very mindful- or self-aware.

This has taken me literally decades to come to this place, but of course it needn't take others half as long! Hopefully others can learn from my mistakes- even ones I may still make today- and benefit from them in either adopting similar methods, or learning what 'not' to do, lol...

Yesterday, I knew in myself that I hadn't accessed a more true or honest version of myself- not that I was being 'deceptive', but only very surface, very external. But to beat this thing we have to open up, if to no one else- definitely to ourselves.

In order to be our true self we have to be true to ourself.
 
Day 4 of not using porn

Thank for your reply @Phineas 808!
Yes certainly I think the way your describe your thoughts and actions in your journal is helping many others
Even people who stumble across this forum on Google and read one or two posts without ever making an account - maybe that plants the seeds for change somewhere down the line - impossible to measure the accumulated positive impact
And yes - agree that honesty (and self-awareness, which are linked in my mind) are big factors

In order to be our true self we have to be true to ourself
Good words to live by right there 💪
 
D

Deleted member 28870

Guest
Day 0 of not using porn

Thank you for your support @SimonM, @Blondie, and @EarthWalker
But unfortunately EarthWalker, you were right - slipped today :(
Damn this addiction is hard to beat

I have made some progress since joining this forum
Going from PMO every week to once a month or so
But I am still feeling down about my own lack of self-control and slow progress

I need to regroup, reorganize my defenses, and think deeply about my strategy
I am really feeling now that it is not enough to say to my wife and this forum "I am not going to look at porn anymore" and hope it works out
It needs to be part of a larger strategy of changing the way I think and act

I am going to start making shorter posts while I figure out a strategy for long-term success
Probably just to update my day counter like some other members do
I may comment more if I have something to say
Also I will comment less on people's journals, but I will still read them when I need inspiration, so please keep writing in them!

I fell and the journey is taking longer than I hoped, but I am committed to this change
First goal: 24 hours
You can do it. You are so strong and have a partner supporting you. We all love you. Keep it up.
 
We can do it brother @particularly_respecting. You're already back on track. It reminds us that anyone can relapse at any point. Maybe it's not streak we have to worry of. It's the change of lifestyle that we should focus, Porn free lifestyle. What we think becomes what we do. Cut thinking about P, do anything but P & MOing.

But problem here is we just start with casual browsing. And we don't realise until we complete the relapse. Just this actress, just one picture, just one video ; what's wrong with just this one time? Usually it starts like this and escalates quickly. We can't do anything about it after that. So, stopping that at entry level makes huge difference, i suppose.

Also, we have to take care of our leisure activities & coping mechanisms. Both these are extremely important to restrict P. Make a list we do at free times that may escalate to porn viewing and replace them with others. Manage stress & negative impacts of life with healthy activities and strong mindset.

We're all learning & growing together.
 

Ezel

Well-Known Member
Day 0 of not using porn

Thank you for your support @SimonM, @Blondie, and @EarthWalker
But unfortunately EarthWalker, you were right - slipped today :(
Damn this addiction is hard to beat

I have made some progress since joining this forum
Going from PMO every week to once a month or so
But I am still feeling down about my own lack of self-control and slow progress

I need to regroup, reorganize my defenses, and think deeply about my strategy
I am really feeling now that it is not enough to say to my wife and this forum "I am not going to look at porn anymore" and hope it works out
It needs to be part of a larger strategy of changing the way I think and act

I am going to start making shorter posts while I figure out a strategy for long-term success
Probably just to update my day counter like some other members do
I may comment more if I have something to say
Also I will comment less on people's journals, but I will still read them when I need inspiration, so please keep writing in them!

I fell and the journey is taking longer than I hoped, but I am committed to this change
First goal: 24 hours
Sorry to hear about this pr, turns out I'm late to the party, i can see that you already in your seventh's day. So you're kicking ass, that's what I always expected from you particularly respecting. Keep pushing man I will see you on the other side...
 
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