Chronicles of Cumbrain
Member
The day is the 13th of February 2022. I am your typical 20-something-year-old male from a certain country (that shall not be named for privacy purposes) in Europe. Life in the UK is getting increasingly difficult, and the more stressful life gets, the more drawn to porn I feel myself getting. I am, to the best of my knowledge, very well at hiding my dirty secret. In fact, I am so good that even my wife doesn't know about it.
I started masturbating as early as five years old. Static images was the name of the game. But like most of you on here, I started escalating to more and more questionable content as time went by. I like to consider myself as one of the severe cases on this forum, as I have been actively trying to escape my compulsive porn/masturbation habit since 2011. I have tried so many things. I failed sometimes, and succeeded in others. My PIED is so bad that I can't even get it up to this filth anymore, let alone with my wife. I want to enjoy what remains of my 20s in peace. So I have made a solemn vow to the internet, that I will not engage in any (unwanted) sexually compulsive behaviour as long as I live on this planet. I will chronicle my journey day by day on this thread, and will share titbits of my story along the way. Please feel free to comment on this thread with your experience if you happen to relate to whatever I say. Everyday of this journal will contain a 'wisdom of the day' that you can apply to your own situation. On the flip side, you may think I'm just blathering on about nothing so also feel free to move on to the next thread by the next guy.
Lastly, if you, kind (or troll) internet stranger, think that you are beyond redemption, or that you will never overcome this addiction, or that you are doomed to coomed (had to make it rhyme) for the rest of your life - then this thread might be the one for you. Because, my good man, I have been addicted for over 20 years...when I'm not even 30 yet. I have been trying to kick this addiction for 10 years. I had my last relapse two hours before typing this. I am not a superhuman. I don't possess an unlimited reserve of willpower, nor I'm I one of those lucky chaps on reboot forums that succeeded on first, second, fourth or even tenth attempt. I am confident that I have failed over a thousand times. Imagine trying to quit for ten years. TEN YEARS.
A few points to note: I will be referring to porn as 'filth' as the word porn is triggering for many. I will try to make my stories as safe for work as possible, but by the very nature of the subject, a few triggering themes will slip through the cracks. Nevertheless, I urge (the other type of urge) you to continue reading if you enjoy the journals, as you may find something that applies to your journey. After all, I assume you are either here to get support or to give back to this community.
Welcome aboard, fellow (hopefully, former) cumbrains, and let me tell you a tale of a man who coomed so much, he would give a left nut to quit.
I started masturbating as early as five years old. Static images was the name of the game. But like most of you on here, I started escalating to more and more questionable content as time went by. I like to consider myself as one of the severe cases on this forum, as I have been actively trying to escape my compulsive porn/masturbation habit since 2011. I have tried so many things. I failed sometimes, and succeeded in others. My PIED is so bad that I can't even get it up to this filth anymore, let alone with my wife. I want to enjoy what remains of my 20s in peace. So I have made a solemn vow to the internet, that I will not engage in any (unwanted) sexually compulsive behaviour as long as I live on this planet. I will chronicle my journey day by day on this thread, and will share titbits of my story along the way. Please feel free to comment on this thread with your experience if you happen to relate to whatever I say. Everyday of this journal will contain a 'wisdom of the day' that you can apply to your own situation. On the flip side, you may think I'm just blathering on about nothing so also feel free to move on to the next thread by the next guy.
Lastly, if you, kind (or troll) internet stranger, think that you are beyond redemption, or that you will never overcome this addiction, or that you are doomed to coomed (had to make it rhyme) for the rest of your life - then this thread might be the one for you. Because, my good man, I have been addicted for over 20 years...when I'm not even 30 yet. I have been trying to kick this addiction for 10 years. I had my last relapse two hours before typing this. I am not a superhuman. I don't possess an unlimited reserve of willpower, nor I'm I one of those lucky chaps on reboot forums that succeeded on first, second, fourth or even tenth attempt. I am confident that I have failed over a thousand times. Imagine trying to quit for ten years. TEN YEARS.
A few points to note: I will be referring to porn as 'filth' as the word porn is triggering for many. I will try to make my stories as safe for work as possible, but by the very nature of the subject, a few triggering themes will slip through the cracks. Nevertheless, I urge (the other type of urge) you to continue reading if you enjoy the journals, as you may find something that applies to your journey. After all, I assume you are either here to get support or to give back to this community.
Welcome aboard, fellow (hopefully, former) cumbrains, and let me tell you a tale of a man who coomed so much, he would give a left nut to quit.